A small white Persian steps to the podium. He pauses and looks nervously back into the crowd. A beautiful red Persion nods to him and gestures him forward. I wud wike to tak bout my fren Feather. He anna Uncl Bill mov in wif us sum time ago. Frum wut he anna Uncl Bill said, he wussa miteee hunter...

Basho don' haff sumwun to typebite on diss gnoosgroop butted hee is a wunnerful kittee an it is time for himseff to go too da Brij. Yoons can reed about it an lite a candle on rcpa. I am cryin. -- Maggy May Da cole breez rizes Sew seek a better spot an Go wen it is time to.

MOS ub usses wud gnot wan r nam chanjed. Wee chos r nams an den tol da hoomins two pik dem. Or wee haff gotten yoosd to da stoopid nams dat da hoomins pikd. BUTTED, heer is a way to getted yoor nam chanjed iff yoons wanna do dat. It was inBENted by mine dottir Missy, aldo it iz possubl dat uthers...

Wen da Bear an widdl SaMANfa tookd Uncl Bill four his wok todeigh, I wokd beside SaMANfa an rite outted da dor. It wuz a byootiful deigh, wiff non ub dat yukky wet oor kold. An I stayed out for owers and owers. I chasd a big doggie.I metted a furry pritty boycat an promisd too have sum bitties...

Da uther gnite, wen Uncl Bill wusn' home, Mommy Micki cookd sum WUNNERFUL chickum. She shard it wiff me an da Bear an widdle Samanfa. She wood haff gifd som to WooToo awlso butted WooToo don' eeted Peepl fuds. We all got plenny to eet an sat aroun an relaxd and burpd an talkt about how wunnerful da...

Uncl Bill is disTRAKted. His brother Sid wen to Florida an a fren took care ob his doggies, Pookie and da Max. Da fren wivs about ten myles frum Uncl Sid. BUTTED, little Pookie rund out da dor ob da frenz hous. Shee has been missin for DAYS. Uncl Sid an Uncl Bill is hart-broked. Pookie is a cute...

I wanned mine BREKKUS an da kans was on da couner wer I cood see dem. Butted Uncl Bill wuz beein stoopid. He had walkd da dogs and put out der fudz butted he wuz NORING me. He pord his orumj joos an gotted his pills an wuz gonna sit down at da tabl WIFOUT FEEDING ME. I had a big bowl ob krunchees...

Uncl Bill is furry sad an almos cannot typebite diss. Sew I will be breef. Missy wen to da Bridj to be wiff Maggy May, her meowmie, and her brufur da gallant Winnie. Wee awl misses hersef butted da Bear, little Samanfa an I gno about da Brij, sew wee can tak itted betterer. Uncl Bill an Ant Micki...

Diss cat hoo wibs in da nayborhood tole me sunfin an I don' know wether to tell Samanfa. Hee is a big hansum boycat hoo is yoosully kwite gud nachurd and pets Ant Micki or Uncl Bill wen he sees dem. HOWSUMEFFER, wen da Bear and widdl Samanfa is woking da Uncl Bill, Samanfa YAPS an YAPS at da...

Wen Meowmie givd us r harecuts, Maggy May cam out furry skinnee. Uncl Bill SEZ shee iz all fuzz an purrs butted itt wuz hard too cee wen shee had all dat fuzz. -- Sunrise

It iz sad gnus dat da Urtha Kitt, wun ub da mos' famus singing kitteez did go to da Brij. Shee wuz much luvd four a longlong tim. Mine Uncl Bill sez shee iz wunnerful an dat r mommy an efferybuddy at da Brij luvs hur an will welcom hur. -- WooToo

Hoomin Note: Wascal dictated most of this story in time for Halloween but he got caught up in the planning for the events of the past few days and the events themselves, including his date with the lovely Piglet, and has just transmitted me the rest of it. I hope you enjoy it, even though it is...

Uncl Bill issa in WooTooz rum anna hee issa wachiin dis game. Dat Bazball issa bad enuff but weee don fink WooToo shud haffta endur diss virulent anna meen game. Anna iff wee wanna visik hur, weee don wanna haffta seee doz bigbig men runnin roun anna hittin eeech uvver. Iffff hee wanna wach...

On Dec 25, 8:29 pm, Will in New Haven wrote: Uncl Bill wuz sittin inda bigbig chair inda wivving rum anna I wuz settling in to seep for uwile on hss belly ann chest. DEN Bear jump offa da couch an YELLED at meee. I wuz so startled dat I dug my cwaz intooo...

Da Buddy, hoo iz r girl-parrut, was sayin stuff butted it wasn' in regler hoomin talk an it wasn' in meowchat, sew gno wun cud unnerstan itted. An Uncl Bill sez to her: "I can't understand you, speak English." An shee wooked at him as he is an idiot an sed: "WANT PEENUT"

Hee wuz reedin sum ol pomes dat he wroted and he red dis wun an cride. "If you need a big kitty, he's your boy He's awfully pretty and full of joy and he does many things to make his daddy simile. If you need a great kitty, he's the one He's very funny and full of fun and he does many things to...

Meowmie grabd mee an took a wot ub mine furz an tuk a long tim an den shee brushd da furz I had leffted. So I ran an hided. But Uncl Bill petted mee an tol me dat it iz ok an I still look okay. Maggy May Shee dun dat too mee too butted I dint gneed as much wurk, beclaws I wuz alreddy jus about...

Wee see dis d*ggy on da TV an hee iz a yello Lapradorer Reetreefer, jus like Da Bear, hoo iz black. An Bear wanna gew see da mobie datted iz bout Marlee an Uncl Bill gonna try to sneek him in. Da Marlee iz furry funny an Bear iz gonna learn lotsa gnew triks frum him. -- Maggy May

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4&feature=related I hadn't seen it here before. Apoligies if has been posted before. -- Will in New Haven

Uncl Bill gotted out ob heer wiff his soupcase wile I wuz busy inspektigating mine doodl-box, wich hee had jus cleend. Der is plenny ob crunchee-fudz, wich is awl I will eet, an da wadder bole is full. An I gno Ant Micki will com in an chek mine fudz an wadder an giv mee skritches. But diss is...