It's white. It rumbles. It sticks a paw in your mouth.

I have become the victim of a morning purrson. Miss China Doll, it appears,
likes her two-legs up RIGHT FREAKIN NOW, which in two-leg time starts around
5 am.

She is a relentless, tireless little worker. As Stosh makes it his job to
massage me to sleep at night, my little white drill sergeant does her duty
each and every morning to make sure my tuchas is out of bed.

The drill goes thusly:
"Ow! China! Goddamn it, your CLAWS! Get on Daddy." FWOMP.
"Ow! China! Get your paw out of my ear! Go to Mama." PLOP.
"Grfrgmpfrg! Ecch! China, keep your paws out of my mouth. Get on Daddy's
pillow." TRANSFER.
"Let my $@!# hair GO! Get on Mama!" OOMPH.
"Ewwww! China! OmiGOD! You've wiped CAT BOOGERS all over my freakin LIPS!"
"You okay, Dear?"
"Got a $#*! Kleenex? Wait, let me get this whisker out of my nose."

I cannot bring myself to be mad at her! She has this innocent-baby look on
her face while pulling these hijinx, like she's so curious about what Mama is
made of. that or she's a little opportunist and wants chow, NOW.

Marilyn was a morning person and was always up between 5 and 6 am, which will
explain how I ended up getting a two-for-one cat and alarm clock package.

Blessed be,
Baha