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Old July 12th 08, 10:00 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
jmcquown[_2_]
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Default Ticked off, but should I be? (OT)

Sherry wrote:

It is hard, any way you look at it, to care for an elderly parent. And
the hardest
part is getting them to let go, so to speak, and turn all their
business/banking
interests/decisions over to their children. Moms may be easier than
Dads, I don't
know. My mom died very young.
We tried it all; keeping Dad at his house and "checking" on him upteen
times a day, until we practically were living with him; tried bringing
him here. Both times
were a miserable failure. We tried putting him in the nursing home
with the closest proximity to us so that it was easier on US to visit
often. The level of care at the
nursing home wasn't good. We ended up putting him in the one with the
best
reputation, but it's a 40-mile round trip to visit. And my sister or I
have to make
the trip every day to keep him grounded. If we don't, he gets
disoriented.
It's the nightmare of the baby boomers, I'm afraid. $4300 per month
goes to the nursing home; approx. $1100 per month to the pharmacy. At
this rate I'm not sure
how many years the $$$$ is going to hold out. Frankly, I haven't done
the math because it scares me.
And again, if it were my mom, I think my sister & I could be keeping
her at home for this particular level of care. She would have been a
more cooperative patient, Dad we just couldn't handle. His most oft-
repeated phrase was "You're not the boss of me." He defers to anyone
in the medical profession; nurses, doctors, even aides. But not us.
Sherry


She's already got me handling all her financial stuff. I've got Durable
Power of Attorney (and Health Care POA). I'm a co-signator on her accounts
so I write the checks to pay her bills. She's actually relieved at not
having to deal with it anymore. I don't mind. But yeah, Dad wouldn't have
allowed it, no way, no how, even if he hadn't sunk into dementia. He had
that military "I'm in charge" mindset right up to the end.

The best thing right now is for her to stay in her home of 21 years. She
knows the area, she has friends here. Okay, so what if they're all as old
as dirt, too? LOL They're still friends. I can't see uprooting her. And
she certainly doesn't require nursing home level of care. She does have
good insurance so her prescriptions are $3 and her hospitalization in
January and subsequent doctor care was paid 100%. One less thing to worry
about.

Jill