wrote in message
...
Victor M. Martinez wrote:

Does he have full-blown AIDS or is he just HIV+? Big difference in
terms
of life expectancy.

He said AIDS.

Just be polite and considerate. I don't think it's rude to ask what his
plans are in case he gets too sick to care for her (you could ask that
instead of "when you die").

Yeah, I can't imagine saying "when you die" - ick! "In case you get too
sick to care for her" is a good way to say it. (It's clear I don't spend
a lot of time around sick people!)

Thanks,
Joyce

Yes, I think that would be a good way to put it. And I agree that it is
difficult to know what to say to someone who is very ill. However, my
brother-in-law died of leukemia a number of years ago (at the age of 42).
He really appreciated people who were willing to talk openly about his
illness. He said it can be very lonely and isolating when people just
change the subject and want to act as if "everything is alright" when he
knew that his life expectancy was actually very short. Of course, it would
be far more difficult (and possibly intrusive) for a stranger to approach
something in the same way as a close friend or relative could.

MaryL