On May 1, 12:58*pm, "EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)"
wrote:
*"They'll be sorry when I'm dead"? *

A long time ago when I was the ugly fat teenage girl- some so called
friends used to tell me so and so wanted to dance with me then have a
game where they'd bring some guy forward who'd take one look at me
then run off screaming- I had minus zero confidence, a mother (who
although I feel guilty about saying it because I did love her or at
least wanted her to love me as much as she did my brothers although to
be realistic I would have had to grow a penis) who on a daily basis
kept that confidence level at minus zero
One night I actually picked up a bottle of aspirin from the kitchen,
went to the bathroom, opened the bottle looked at it and thought
"They'll be sorry when I'm dead"
At this point my rather more prosaic personality kicked in and
suddenly I screamed (mum yelled at me to shut up) "THEY WON'T BE SORRY
THEY'LL BE GLAD! WHY SHOULD I MAKE THEM GLAD? AM I SO DESPERATE FOR
THEIR APPROVAL THAT I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF FOR A BUNCH OF PEOPLE
WHO WILL BE HAPPY IF I AM DEAD?! SOD THEM I AM GOING TO LIVE AND ANNOY
THE HELL OUT OF THEM FOR JUST BEING AROUND?!"

And that's been my motto ever since-I ain;t gonna kill myself just
because someone doesn't like me, because like when I had this thing at
work recently the manager involved would have loved to have the drama
of me topping myself so she could look good and add "crisis
management" to her CV- why should I do what she wants and give her the
pleasure?

Still around and still annoying people ain;t gonna top myself just
cos someone does not like ,me/approve of me or whatever- no one has
ever had that power over me and as I get older I get harder- guess
what- the fat ugly teenage girl who didn't bow down is now quite
starting to like herself.....And I have just today booked in for the
deep purple lowlights I have always ....I am goin' purple next Friday!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs