"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message
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"Christine Burel" wrote in message
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"CatNipped" wrote in message
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"Kyla =^..^=" wrote in message
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I do hope I am not overstepping my boundries, but I just put up a candle
for us, RPCA because SO many folks here are going thru so many losses
and troubles that I felt. compelled dto do it.
It is done with much love and kindness.
Love
Kyla

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...?l=eng&gi=RPCA

Sorry, but I really wish you hadn't done that, Kyla. RPCA is not dead
and I thought that was in very bad taste.

CatNipped

Lighting a candle to express sorrow for people's losses is not in bad
taste; it was meant well and maybe helped someone feel better.
Christine

I agree. I was surprised to see a candle lit for rpca, but it was not in
bad taste. Candles are used for various purposes, and not just for death.

MaryL

I knew there would be those to jump to Kyla defense on this and I was not
going to reply. However, you and I used to be friends (I still appreciate
the Feliway plug-in you sent me when we were trying to integrate Hunter into
our clowder).

I get upset by Kyla's lighting a candle because she's making a mockery of it
by lighting one for every little thing ("I hope I'm not overstepping myself,
but I lit a candle for Matthew's hurt toe"). It *USED* to mean something, a
way for the group, *AS* a group, to express deep sorrow - and Adrian used it
quietly and with dignity to help the group overcome tragedy and get us
through hard times.

And yes, it *did* used to be only for a death in "our" family until Kyla
came along and changed all that. Even if she would do it with sincerity
instead of as an attention-getting act it would still rankle that she is
making it into a meaningless act. A lot of people feel like, well if she
likes it, it's a harmless thing to do - but it's not, it's just another way
to change this group and its traditions from something that was rare and
beautiful into just another squabbling newsgroup like every other out there,
and *that's* what I resent. If she likes to light candles so much, then she
can light them on her own and email all her email buddies here asking them
to go light them - or even start a candle lighting group. I just wish she'd
stop doing it here!

Hugs,

CatNipped