A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the
answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with
us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here,
and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And
God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be
with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so
that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will
accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of
yourselves." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam
and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the
new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the
Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God
said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a
reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own
name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and Eve
and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted.
And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After
a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said,
"Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and
preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog
has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well." And
God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be
with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion
will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are
not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a
companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam
and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not
the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were
greatly improved. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't give a **** one way or the other.