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#1
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FTV: Mad Odessa
As I have said before, nothing hides better than a black cat, and did
she ever! We spent over an hour seeking, chasing, and cornering Odessa for her exam at the vet's. While we call her one of the Ladies for her ordinarily demure demeanor, get her mad and her language could make a sailor blush. She hadn't hissed so many times since we first adopted her. We took her with Roxie, who was getting a follow-up check on the operation. Good news for the Little Girl: everything's progressed wonderfully. Now our Little Doll, on the other hand... Hand actually is not the part of the anatomy involved here, not even a paw. Her health is good, she'll be due a tooth cleaning next physical and we have to start doing the daily dental to ward off possibility of gingival evil. Her teeth are in good shape now. So far so good. However, the Black Russian takes her morning beauty nap seriously and does not like to have it disturbed under any circumstances. We know she's a Lady because she only cusses at home. Good enough. Now I want t know where Odessa had picked up beans, beer and Taco Bell! The first breath of fresh air wafted about the exam room after the initial going-over by the tech. We managed to clear the air by the judicious fanning of health pamphlets from their slots on the walls. Then she blew a new mist of Eww d'Odessa a moment later. But the piece de resistance--and I do wish she could have resisted--was when she was getting the exam. Our vet does an ass check (check, not cheek!) whenever she sees someone; she'll lift the tail and examine the anus. And that's when Odessa readied, aimed and fired. Omigod, the poor vet! She drew away quite sharply, growing rather green about the hairline, and we could soon see, or smell, why. You see, Odessa has a streak of antisocial in her, and I swear on my mother's dentures she can fart at will. And this third one was causing dizzy spells. The vet and her tech hightailed it, making a feeble excuse of getting the syringes for the distemper and feline leukemia. The syringes that were lying on the counter behind the exam table. O...kay! But the cloud soon spread to the point where we had to rapidly open and close the door to fan out some of the chemical weaponry, and frankly the doctor and assistant took too long away to just get syringes. "Ha! Stupid two-legs! Think you can chase me all over my home and put me in a box, do you? Shlep me into that thing on wheels and into that-- that OFFICE, will you! You FOOLS! Do you not know that I possess the POWER within me? Deep within, down to my bowels...HA!!! THROUGH my bowels! I shall tear-gas you into submission for this. How DARE you disturb my naptime?!" Blessed be, Baha .. |
#2
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FTV: Mad Odessa
On May 10, 4:51*pm, Judith Latham wrote:
She certainly let everyone know what she thought. Bless her. Judith She was remarkable up to the end of her very short life, and left us with beautiful memories. Rest in peace, Odessa-Dolly. Blessed be, Baha |
#3
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FTV: Mad Odessa
On Mon, 10 May 2010 07:00:37 -0700 (PDT), BfloPolska
wrote: As I have said before, nothing hides better than a black cat, and did she ever! We spent over an hour seeking, chasing, and cornering Odessa for her exam at the vet's. While we call her one of the Ladies for her ordinarily demure demeanor, get her mad and her language could make a sailor blush. She hadn't hissed so many times since we first adopted her. We took her with Roxie, who was getting a follow-up check on the operation. Good news for the Little Girl: everything's progressed wonderfully. Now our Little Doll, on the other hand... Hand actually is not the part of the anatomy involved here, not even a paw. Her health is good, she'll be due a tooth cleaning next physical and we have to start doing the daily dental to ward off possibility of gingival evil. Her teeth are in good shape now. So far so good. However, the Black Russian takes her morning beauty nap seriously and does not like to have it disturbed under any circumstances. We know she's a Lady because she only cusses at home. Good enough. Now I want t know where Odessa had picked up beans, beer and Taco Bell! The first breath of fresh air wafted about the exam room after the initial going-over by the tech. We managed to clear the air by the judicious fanning of health pamphlets from their slots on the walls. Then she blew a new mist of Eww d'Odessa a moment later. But the piece de resistance--and I do wish she could have resisted--was when she was getting the exam. Our vet does an ass check (check, not cheek!) whenever she sees someone; she'll lift the tail and examine the anus. And that's when Odessa readied, aimed and fired. Omigod, the poor vet! She drew away quite sharply, growing rather green about the hairline, and we could soon see, or smell, why. You see, Odessa has a streak of antisocial in her, and I swear on my mother's dentures she can fart at will. And this third one was causing dizzy spells. The vet and her tech hightailed it, making a feeble excuse of getting the syringes for the distemper and feline leukemia. The syringes that were lying on the counter behind the exam table. O...kay! But the cloud soon spread to the point where we had to rapidly open and close the door to fan out some of the chemical weaponry, and frankly the doctor and assistant took too long away to just get syringes. "Ha! Stupid two-legs! Think you can chase me all over my home and put me in a box, do you? Shlep me into that thing on wheels and into that-- that OFFICE, will you! You FOOLS! Do you not know that I possess the POWER within me? Deep within, down to my bowels...HA!!! THROUGH my bowels! I shall tear-gas you into submission for this. How DARE you disturb my naptime?!" Blessed be, Baha . ROTFLMAO!!! Oh my, I have to dry my eyes; I've been laughing so hard! My cats have all been proper ladies: if they have ever had 'the vapors', they did so down in the basement. Or, perhaps, when I wasn't at home. I cannot EVER remember being assaulted by any foul smells from either of my two RB kitties (Lucky, 1999, and Blizzard, 2001) or my sweet Kenzie. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^..^ "Life without cats would be only marginally worth living." -TC, and the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico kitty, Kenzie. Every day is a treasure with Kenzie; I try to treat them that way. There will only be so many, and then there will never, ever, be any more. How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven. - Robert Heinlein --- avast! Antivirus: Outbound message clean. Virus Database (VPS): 100510-1, 05/10/2010 Tested on: 5/10/2010 6:45:39 PM avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2010 ALWIL Software. http://www.avast.com |
#4
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FTV: Mad Odessa
On May 10, 7:45*pm, (Gandalf) wrote:
On Mon, 10 May 2010 07:00:37 -0700 (PDT), BfloPolska wrote: As I have said before, nothing hides better than a black cat, and did she ever! We spent over an hour seeking, chasing, and cornering Odessa for her exam at the vet's. While we call her one of the Ladies for her ordinarily demure demeanor, get her mad and her language could make a sailor blush. She hadn't hissed so many times since we first adopted her. We took her with Roxie, who was getting a follow-up check on the operation. Good news for the Little Girl: everything's progressed wonderfully. Now our Little Doll, on the other hand... Hand actually is not the part of the anatomy involved here, not even a paw. Her health is good, she'll be due a tooth cleaning next physical and we have to start doing the daily dental to ward off possibility of gingival evil. Her teeth are in good shape now. So far so good. However, the Black Russian takes her morning beauty nap seriously and does not like to have it disturbed under any circumstances. We know she's a Lady because she only cusses at home. Good enough. Now I want t know where Odessa had picked up beans, beer and Taco Bell! The first breath of fresh air wafted about the exam room after the initial going-over by the tech. We managed to clear the air by the judicious fanning of health pamphlets from their slots on the walls. Then she blew a new mist of Eww d'Odessa a moment later. But the piece de resistance--and I do wish she could have resisted--was when she was getting the exam. Our vet does an ass check (check, not cheek!) whenever she sees someone; she'll lift the tail and examine the anus. And that's when Odessa readied, aimed and fired. Omigod, the poor vet! She drew away quite sharply, growing rather green about the hairline, and we could soon see, or smell, why. You see, Odessa has a streak of antisocial in her, and I swear on my mother's dentures she can fart at will. And this third one was causing dizzy spells. The vet and her tech hightailed it, making a feeble excuse of getting the syringes for the distemper and feline leukemia. The syringes that were lying on the counter behind the exam table. O...kay! But the cloud soon spread to the point where we had to rapidly open and close the door to fan out some of the chemical weaponry, and frankly the doctor and assistant took too long away to just get syringes. "Ha! Stupid two-legs! Think you can chase me all over my home and put me in a box, do you? Shlep me into that thing on wheels and into that-- that OFFICE, will you! You FOOLS! Do you not know that I possess the POWER within me? Deep within, down to my bowels...HA!!! THROUGH my bowels! I shall tear-gas you into submission for this. How DARE you disturb my naptime?!" Blessed be, Baha . ROTFLMAO!!! Oh my, I have to dry my eyes; I've been laughing so hard! My cats have all been proper ladies: if they have ever had 'the vapors', they did so down in the basement. Or, perhaps, when I wasn't at home. I cannot EVER remember being assaulted by any foul smells from either of my two RB kitties (Lucky, 1999, and Blizzard, 2001) or my sweet Kenzie. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ *^..^ * * "Life without cats would be only marginally worth living." -TC, and the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico kitty, Kenzie. Every day is a treasure with Kenzie; I try to treat them that way. There will only be so many, and then there will never, ever, be any more. How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven. - Robert Heinlein --- avast! Antivirus: Outbound message clean. Virus Database (VPS): 100510-1, 05/10/2010 Tested on: 5/10/2010 6:45:39 PM avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2010 ALWIL Software.http://www.avast.com I laughed myself into a state of tears. Of course, better to have tears from laughter than tears from a feline "organ recital". ;-) I've only had Mini the dog for a month, so I'm not so sure she's used to seeing her human reading and laughing uproariously. She keeps peering at me with this worried look on her little face, which is only increasing my mirth level. Poor wee doggie. ;-) LMHO, Donna, Captain and Stanley who already know full well that Meowmy's nuts, and Mini who's still acclimating to having a nut for a Meowmy ;-) |
#5
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FTV: Mad Odessa
On May 10, 10:00*am, BfloPolska wrote:
As I have said before, nothing hides better than a black cat, and did she ever! We spent over an hour seeking, chasing, and cornering Odessa for her exam at the vet's. While we call her one of the Ladies for her ordinarily demure demeanor, get her mad and her language could make a sailor blush. She hadn't hissed so many times since we first adopted her. We took her with Roxie, who was getting a follow-up check on the operation. Good news for the Little Girl: everything's progressed wonderfully. Now our Little Doll, on the other hand... Hand actually is not the part of the anatomy involved here, not even a paw. Her health is good, she'll be due a tooth cleaning next physical and we have to start doing the daily dental to ward off possibility of gingival evil. Her teeth are in good shape now. So far so good. However, the Black Russian takes her morning beauty nap seriously and does not like to have it disturbed under any circumstances. We know she's a Lady because she only cusses at home. Good enough. Now I want t know where Odessa had picked up beans, beer and Taco Bell! The first breath of fresh air wafted about the exam room after the initial going-over by the tech. We managed to clear the air by the judicious fanning of health pamphlets from their slots on the walls. Then she blew a new mist of Eww d'Odessa a moment later. But the piece de resistance--and I do wish she could have resisted--was when she was getting the exam. Our vet does an ass check (check, not cheek!) whenever she sees someone; she'll lift the tail and examine the anus. And that's when Odessa readied, aimed and fired. Omigod, the poor vet! She drew away quite sharply, growing rather green about the hairline, and we could soon see, or smell, why. You see, Odessa has a streak of antisocial in her, and I swear on my mother's dentures she can fart at will. And this third one was causing dizzy spells. The vet and her tech hightailed it, making a feeble excuse of getting the syringes for the distemper and feline leukemia. The syringes that were lying on the counter behind the exam table. O...kay! But the cloud soon spread to the point where we had to rapidly open and close the door to fan out some of the chemical weaponry, and frankly the doctor and assistant took too long away to just get syringes. "Ha! Stupid two-legs! Think you can chase me all over my home and put me in a box, do you? Shlep me into that thing on wheels and into that-- that OFFICE, will you! You FOOLS! Do you not know that I possess the POWER within me? Deep within, down to my bowels...HA!!! THROUGH my bowels! I shall tear-gas you into submission for this. How DARE you disturb my naptime?!" Blessed be, Baha . To funny! Thanks for the laugh. Julie |
#6
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FTV: Mad Odessa
On May 10, 6:01*pm, Julie_Snowshoe wrote:
On May 10, 10:00*am, BfloPolska wrote: As I have said before, nothing hides better than a black cat, and did she ever! We spent over an hour seeking, chasing, and cornering Odessa for her exam at the vet's. While we call her one of the Ladies for her ordinarily demure demeanor, get her mad and her language could make a sailor blush. She hadn't hissed so many times since we first adopted her. We took her with Roxie, who was getting a follow-up check on the operation. Good news for the Little Girl: everything's progressed wonderfully. Now our Little Doll, on the other hand... Hand actually is not the part of the anatomy involved here, not even a paw. Her health is good, she'll be due a tooth cleaning next physical and we have to start doing the daily dental to ward off possibility of gingival evil. Her teeth are in good shape now. So far so good. However, the Black Russian takes her morning beauty nap seriously and does not like to have it disturbed under any circumstances. We know she's a Lady because she only cusses at home. Good enough. Now I want t know where Odessa had picked up beans, beer and Taco Bell! The first breath of fresh air wafted about the exam room after the initial going-over by the tech. We managed to clear the air by the judicious fanning of health pamphlets from their slots on the walls. Then she blew a new mist of Eww d'Odessa a moment later. But the piece de resistance--and I do wish she could have resisted--was when she was getting the exam. Our vet does an ass check (check, not cheek!) whenever she sees someone; she'll lift the tail and examine the anus. And that's when Odessa readied, aimed and fired. Omigod, the poor vet! She drew away quite sharply, growing rather green about the hairline, and we could soon see, or smell, why. You see, Odessa has a streak of antisocial in her, and I swear on my mother's dentures she can fart at will. And this third one was causing dizzy spells. The vet and her tech hightailed it, making a feeble excuse of getting the syringes for the distemper and feline leukemia. The syringes that were lying on the counter behind the exam table. O...kay! But the cloud soon spread to the point where we had to rapidly open and close the door to fan out some of the chemical weaponry, and frankly the doctor and assistant took too long away to just get syringes. "Ha! Stupid two-legs! Think you can chase me all over my home and put me in a box, do you? Shlep me into that thing on wheels and into that-- that OFFICE, will you! You FOOLS! Do you not know that I possess the POWER within me? Deep within, down to my bowels...HA!!! THROUGH my bowels! I shall tear-gas you into submission for this. How DARE you disturb my naptime?!" Blessed be, Baha . To funny! Thanks for the laugh. Julie Yah, know as nasty as that was, the vet is LUCKY Odessa didn't express her anal glands. I've been squirted in the FACE with that stuff. Remember the movie "Labyrinth" and the Bog of Eternal Stench? Anal glands aka butt juice doesn't like wash off easily, and if you miss ONE drop you end up smelling it for the rest of the day. Twice i've been squirted and I despited washing my hands, face, and part of my hair i still felt like taking a full body shower. Bleah! Excellent story however, Kristi |
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