Smudge is dying

On Thu, 07 Apr 2011 11:34:22 -0600, MLB wrote:
I am so very sorry - and sad. Many purrs for you and yours

Sophia

MLB

On Apr 5, 9:10*am, "~*LiveLoveLaugh*~" wrote:
wrote in et...

My neighbor who watches her and feeds her noticed that she wasn't
eating, had lost weight, and was acting listless. I brought her to
the vet yesterday and the vet felt "a mass" in her abdomen. Today
she had an ultrasound, and they found metastasized cancer in her
small intestine and throughout her abdomen. The vet said that they
can't do anything for her, because it's already spread, and even if
they performed surgery to take out the largest tumor, it might buy
her another month or two at most, but then she'd just develop another
tumor - it's a very aggressive type of cancer. They recommend
euthanasia within the next couple of *days*. Days? This is such
a shock. I already knew the vet suspected cancer, but I was expecting
that Smudge would have treatment and that she would be able to live
longer.

--------

Oh Joyce... *I'm so, so sorry. *I just know how hard this is.... *especially
when it's just 'days'. *God bless Smudge. *Y'all will be in my thoughts and
prayers.

·.·´¨ ¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
Laurie
((¸¸.·´ ..·´
-:¦:- ((¸¸ ·.·

*~*LiveLoveLaugh*~*

All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
~Abraham Lincoln

The only good thing the vet said is that she's pretty sure Smudge
is not in pain. She felt around quite a bit, and the ultrasound puts
a lot of pressure on the area, and she didn't complain. She doesn't
have to be put down right this minute. So I'm bringing her home for
a day or two, to say goodbye. I know she won't be thrilled to be in
my house, but I'll keep her in a room by herself, away from the other
two. She's very low energy and has not been the feisty, willful cat
she's always been, and I think she'll just hunker down and rest.

More later...

Poor Smudge, and poor you. I"m so sorry to hear this news. But it
definitely sounds like Smudge is not feeling herself, and no wonder
poor thing. Give her the most loving farewell you can. I know it's
very hard to say farewell to a beloved cat. But sometimes it's the
only merciful thing we can do. Let her end her life knowing beyond
doubt she was loved.

Melissa

"Judith Latham" wrote in message
...

In article ,
wrote:
Cheryl wrote:

On 4/5/2011 9:35 PM, wrote:

I'm touchy about this, because it's hard enough to go through this
without feeling like people think I would do something so drastic
without making sure. Really. I've checked.

Joyce, I wasn't judging you at all! I'm so sorry if you thought I
was. Please accept my apology for my post blunder.

No problem, Cheryl. I'm *way* stressed out and I'm liable to take even
a cross-eyed glance the wrong way. So you can imagine how I felt when
a couple of people start calling me "selfish" when I'm trying to do
the right thing. I really am. Smudge's welfare is all I've been able to
think about for the past 48 hours.

I meant it when I requested information about her condition (cancer of
the small intestine) and a potential outcome (perforation), which I know
*nothing* about. Prior to this week, I had never even heard the words
"perforation of the bowel" - I believe that is what Jack Campin called
it. Nobody I know has ever had this, feline or human.

So, to all the people who are upset because they fear that Smudge is
going to die horribly, which is not an unreasonable fear, NOW IS THE
TIME to help me out with this. I want and need this info. I need to
make an informed decision based on more than one person's opinion. So,
how about putting yer currency where the old alimentary entrance is,
if you know what I mean?

Thanks.
Joyce


PS - So far, nothing I have done has changed from the original plan,
which was to take her to be put down tonight. It's not tonight yet, at
least not in California.

May Bast be with you and help you make whatever decision needed. I'm sure
you will do whatever is best for Smudge as you've always done, even though
at times it's hurt you.

Purrs and prayers for Smudge and for you too.

Judith

--
Judith Latham
Stourbridge, West Midlands. UK.

I'm piggybacking here because the thread I was looking for is not on the
list I'm viewing. Your message to Joyce is similar to what I was going to
write. Someone told me that Joyce thought I was criticizing her with regard
to a decision to euthanize. That was not my intention at all. I was trying
to describe how hard the decision is and how it can be a mistake to wait too
long. Most of us have been through that--we keep "rethinking," and we are
always afraid that we made that terrible decision either too early or too
late.

My computer crashed shortly after I wrote that message, and I am just now
getting back online. So, I have not seen anything posted since then except
for the few that I am looking at now. I have a new computer with Windows 7,
so I am having to learn everything all over again.

MaryL

MaryL wrote:

I'm piggybacking here because the thread I was looking for is not on the
list I'm viewing. Your message to Joyce is similar to what I was going to
write. Someone told me that Joyce thought I was criticizing her with regard
to a decision to euthanize. That was not my intention at all. I was trying
to describe how hard the decision is and how it can be a mistake to wait too
long. Most of us have been through that--we keep "rethinking," and we are
always afraid that we made that terrible decision either too early or too
late.

I guess this is as good a time as any to give an update on this sad
story. I couldn't bring myself to post about it earlier. I helped Smudge
off to the next phase of life's journey, if indeed there is a next phase,
last Thursday morning, April. 7. Wherever she is, I know she's not hurting.

I brought her to a second vet. It was important to me to have a second
opinion before making such a huge and irreversible decision, but he
said essentially the same thing. He wasn't so worried about a rupture,
although he said it was possible. But he was certain that her cancer was
terminal and that she wouldn't live very long.

We talked about maybe giving her prednisone for a while, which would
slow down the cancer, help her feel better and get her eating again,
and might give her a few more weeks of some quality time. But the
problem is, she wanted to be outside. And the vet thought that was a
bad idea, because if she were to have a rupture, or some other painful
and life-threatening develpment, and happened to be outside when it
happened, she'd probably go off and hide. And it would also be very
difficult to medicate her regularly if she weren't in a place where I
would have control. That might have been worked out with a couple of
neighbors' help, but the bottom line was that she was too sick to be
out running around. So I was faced with the option of helping her feel
better, only to keep her cooped up in one room. What a cruel way to
end her days. That's not what I would consider "quality of life" for
a cat whose only requirement for happiness was to be free to come and
go, smell the outdoors, and visit her many human friends.

The vet was helpful, and he spent a lot of time with me helping me
think it through and come to a decision. I'm not sure I would have
been able to do that on my own. As it is, I've been second-guessing
myself ever since.

The next morning, a neighbor came up to me as I was leaving for work
to tell me how sorry she was. She said that many people in the
neighborhood were brokenhearted over it. Smudge was a very friendly
and popular cat. And then the neighbor said that she was going to
plant a tomato plant in her garden in honor of Smudge - just for me,
so I can have tomatoes all summer. Is that the sweetest thing ever??
The Smudge Memorial Tomato Plant, LOL.

Joyce

PS - Mary, I was so wracked with guilt and anxiety last week that I
was taking all sorts of comments as personal insults. You used the
word "selfish" in your post - which, it sounds like you're saying,
wasn't even directed at me. But unfortunately, that word presses my
hottest of hot buttons. And there's no way one can hold life or death
power over another being without worrying about being too selfish,
among many other things.

wrote in message
...
MaryL wrote:

I'm piggybacking here because the thread I was looking for is not on the
list I'm viewing. Your message to Joyce is similar to what I was going
to
write. Someone told me that Joyce thought I was criticizing her with
regard
to a decision to euthanize. That was not my intention at all. I was
trying
to describe how hard the decision is and how it can be a mistake to wait
too
long. Most of us have been through that--we keep "rethinking," and we
are
always afraid that we made that terrible decision either too early or
too
late.

I guess this is as good a time as any to give an update on this sad
story. I couldn't bring myself to post about it earlier. I helped Smudge
off to the next phase of life's journey, if indeed there is a next phase,
last Thursday morning, April. 7. Wherever she is, I know she's not
hurting.

I brought her to a second vet. It was important to me to have a second
opinion before making such a huge and irreversible decision, but he
said essentially the same thing. He wasn't so worried about a rupture,
although he said it was possible. But he was certain that her cancer was
terminal and that she wouldn't live very long.

We talked about maybe giving her prednisone for a while, which would
slow down the cancer, help her feel better and get her eating again,
and might give her a few more weeks of some quality time. But the
problem is, she wanted to be outside. And the vet thought that was a
bad idea, because if she were to have a rupture, or some other painful
and life-threatening develpment, and happened to be outside when it
happened, she'd probably go off and hide. And it would also be very
difficult to medicate her regularly if she weren't in a place where I
would have control. That might have been worked out with a couple of
neighbors' help, but the bottom line was that she was too sick to be
out running around. So I was faced with the option of helping her feel
better, only to keep her cooped up in one room. What a cruel way to
end her days. That's not what I would consider "quality of life" for
a cat whose only requirement for happiness was to be free to come and
go, smell the outdoors, and visit her many human friends.

The vet was helpful, and he spent a lot of time with me helping me
think it through and come to a decision. I'm not sure I would have
been able to do that on my own. As it is, I've been second-guessing
myself ever since.

The next morning, a neighbor came up to me as I was leaving for work
to tell me how sorry she was. She said that many people in the
neighborhood were brokenhearted over it. Smudge was a very friendly
and popular cat. And then the neighbor said that she was going to
plant a tomato plant in her garden in honor of Smudge - just for me,
so I can have tomatoes all summer. Is that the sweetest thing ever??
The Smudge Memorial Tomato Plant, LOL.

Joyce

I realize my opinion isn't particularly important, in the grand scheme of
things. However, I think you made the right decision. You did what you
thought was best for her at the time. That is all anybody can do. You put
her best interest ahead of what you wanted. That was a true act of love.

It goes without saying that you have my deepest sympathy, but I'll say it
anyway.

Joy

wrote in message ...

MaryL wrote:

I'm piggybacking here because the thread I was looking for is not on the
list I'm viewing. Your message to Joyce is similar to what I was going to
write. Someone told me that Joyce thought I was criticizing her with
regard
to a decision to euthanize. That was not my intention at all. I was trying
to describe how hard the decision is and how it can be a mistake to wait
too
long. Most of us have been through that--we keep "rethinking," and we are
always afraid that we made that terrible decision either too early or too
late.

I guess this is as good a time as any to give an update on this sad
story. I couldn't bring myself to post about it earlier. I helped Smudge
off to the next phase of life's journey, if indeed there is a next phase,
last Thursday morning, April. 7. Wherever she is, I know she's not hurting.

I brought her to a second vet. It was important to me to have a second
opinion before making such a huge and irreversible decision, but he
said essentially the same thing. He wasn't so worried about a rupture,
although he said it was possible. But he was certain that her cancer was
terminal and that she wouldn't live very long.

We talked about maybe giving her prednisone for a while, which would
slow down the cancer, help her feel better and get her eating again,
and might give her a few more weeks of some quality time. But the
problem is, she wanted to be outside. And the vet thought that was a
bad idea, because if she were to have a rupture, or some other painful
and life-threatening develpment, and happened to be outside when it
happened, she'd probably go off and hide. And it would also be very
difficult to medicate her regularly if she weren't in a place where I
would have control. That might have been worked out with a couple of
neighbors' help, but the bottom line was that she was too sick to be
out running around. So I was faced with the option of helping her feel
better, only to keep her cooped up in one room. What a cruel way to
end her days. That's not what I would consider "quality of life" for
a cat whose only requirement for happiness was to be free to come and
go, smell the outdoors, and visit her many human friends.

The vet was helpful, and he spent a lot of time with me helping me
think it through and come to a decision. I'm not sure I would have
been able to do that on my own. As it is, I've been second-guessing
myself ever since.

The next morning, a neighbor came up to me as I was leaving for work
to tell me how sorry she was. She said that many people in the
neighborhood were brokenhearted over it. Smudge was a very friendly
and popular cat. And then the neighbor said that she was going to
plant a tomato plant in her garden in honor of Smudge - just for me,
so I can have tomatoes all summer. Is that the sweetest thing ever??
The Smudge Memorial Tomato Plant, LOL.

Joyce

PS - Mary, I was so wracked with guilt and anxiety last week that I
was taking all sorts of comments as personal insults. You used the
word "selfish" in your post - which, it sounds like you're saying,
wasn't even directed at me. But unfortunately, that word presses my
hottest of hot buttons. And there's no way one can hold life or death
power over another being without worrying about being too selfish,
among many other things.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thank you for giving us this update. You made the most difficult of all
decisions,
but you made it for the right reason--you did it for Smudge's welfare. As
you said, we all second-guess
ourselves, but you did everything you could for Smudge. I did use the word
"selfish," but I was
trying to use it in the generic sense that we need to put primary emphasis
on the needs of those in
our care (as you did) and not simply to extend our own time with our beloved
pets.
Smudge was very fortunate to have you there to make sure that her final days
would not
be filled with pain. You have my deepest sympathy. I have been down that
road myself, and
it is a very difficult road to travel.

MaryL

On 14/04/2011 09:41, wrote:
gentle snip

The next morning, a neighbor came up to me as I was leaving for work
to tell me how sorry she was. She said that many people in the
neighborhood were brokenhearted over it. Smudge was a very friendly
and popular cat. And then the neighbor said that she was going to
plant a tomato plant in her garden in honor of Smudge - just for me,
so I can have tomatoes all summer. Is that the sweetest thing ever??
The Smudge Memorial Tomato Plant, LOL.

That is really sweet, and a testimony to what a great cat Smudge was, to
make such friends around your neighbourhood. Hugs and purrs for your loss.

--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban.
In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

On 14 Apr 2011 06:41:33 GMT, wrote:

I guess this is as good a time as any to give an update on this sad
story. I couldn't bring myself to post about it earlier. I helped Smudge
off to the next phase of life's journey, if indeed there is a next phase,
last Thursday morning, April. 7. Wherever she is, I know she's not hurting.

I brought her to a second vet. It was important to me to have a second
opinion before making such a huge and irreversible decision, but he
said essentially the same thing. He wasn't so worried about a rupture,
although he said it was possible. But he was certain that her cancer was
terminal and that she wouldn't live very long.

I am so very sorry to hear this. Prayers and purrs to you and for
Smudge on his final journey.

On Apr 14, 2:41*am, wrote:
MaryL *wrote:

* I'm piggybacking here because the thread I was looking for is not on the
* list I'm viewing. Your message to Joyce is similar to what I was going to
* write. Someone told me that Joyce thought I was criticizing her with regard
* to a decision to euthanize. That was not my intention at all. I was trying
* to describe how hard the decision is and how it can be a mistake to wait too
* long. Most of us have been through that--we keep "rethinking," and we are
* always afraid that we made that terrible decision either too early or too
* late.

I guess this is as good a time as any to give an update on this sad
story. I couldn't bring myself to post about it earlier. I helped Smudge
off to the next phase of life's journey, if indeed there is a next phase,
last Thursday morning, April. 7. Wherever she is, I know she's not hurting.

I brought her to a second vet. It was important to me to have a second
opinion before making such a huge and irreversible decision, but he
said essentially the same thing. He wasn't so worried about a rupture,
although he said it was possible. But he was certain that her cancer was
terminal and that she wouldn't live very long.

We talked about maybe giving her prednisone for a while, which would
slow down the cancer, help her feel better and get her eating again,
and might give her a few more weeks of some quality time. But the
problem is, she wanted to be outside. And the vet thought that was a
bad idea, because if she were to have a rupture, or some other painful
and life-threatening develpment, and happened to be outside when it
happened, she'd probably go off and hide. And it would also be very
difficult to medicate her regularly if she weren't in a place where I
would have control. That might have been worked out with a couple of
neighbors' help, but the bottom line was that she was too sick to be
out running around. So I was faced with the option of helping her feel
better, only to keep her cooped up in one room. What a cruel way to
end her days. That's not what I would consider "quality of life" for
a cat whose only requirement for happiness was to be free to come and
go, smell the outdoors, and visit her many human friends.

The vet was helpful, and he spent a lot of time with me helping me
think it through and come to a decision. I'm not sure I would have
been able to do that on my own. As it is, I've been second-guessing
myself ever since.

The next morning, a neighbor came up to me as I was leaving for work
to tell me how sorry she was. She said that many people in the
neighborhood were brokenhearted over it. Smudge was a very friendly
and popular cat. And then the neighbor said that she was going to
plant a tomato plant in her garden in honor of Smudge - just for me,
so I can have tomatoes all summer. Is that the sweetest thing ever??
The Smudge Memorial Tomato Plant, LOL.

Joyce

PS - Mary, I was so wracked with guilt and anxiety last week that I
was taking all sorts of comments as personal insults. You used the
word "selfish" in your post - which, it sounds like you're saying,
wasn't even directed at me. But unfortunately, that word presses my
hottest of hot buttons. And there's no way one can hold life or death
power over another being without worrying about being too selfish,
among many other things.

I am so sorry for your loss Joyce. I know it was a very difficult
decision
for you as I went a similar process with Rusty just a couple of months
ago.
It was good that the vet spent time helping you with your decision.
Can't stay the same with Rusty's vet.
But please don't second guess yourself. Just remember Smudge is at a
better place now without pain and suffering. Probably playing with
Rusty
at RB unless Rusty is still as grouchy as he was.
Hard as it was for me to make my decision with regards to Rusty,
once I made it I was strangely at peace. Sure I still missed him and
cried
over him once in a while, but I know he is better off at RB than
suffering
through pancreatitis.

Your neighbour is very sweet and it shows Smudge was a beloved cat
in
your neighbourhood.

Hugs, Winnie

On Apr 14, 7:41*am, wrote:


I guess this is as good a time as any to give an update on this sad
story. I couldn't bring myself to post about it earlier. I helped Smudge
off to the next phase of life's journey, if indeed there is a next phase,
last Thursday morning, April. 7. Wherever she is, I know she's not hurting.

I brought her to a second vet. It was important to me to have a second
opinion before making such a huge and irreversible decision, but he
said essentially the same thing. He wasn't so worried about a rupture,
although he said it was possible. But he was certain that her cancer was
terminal and that she wouldn't live very long.


I think I would also have sought a second opinion if the first had
been from a vet I didn't know very well. I agree that quality of life
is important, and you're right that Smudge isn't going to be in any
pain now. You gave her the last thing that was yours to give, a
painless death.

My thoughts are with you.

Jeanette