Sucker for a waif [a bit OT]

Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside
for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into
heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that
find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the
shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with
personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems
that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a
common theme here.

Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other
people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF
loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are
givers.

Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or
the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a
sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves
out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help
whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its
fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to get
all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I have
formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF) they are
all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so to speak)
when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection, love,
friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden, I
wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them.

It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence
here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes
Lori's story all too familiar to many of us..

Yowie

Yowie wrote:
Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside
for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into
heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that
find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the
shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with
personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems
that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a
common theme here.

Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other
people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF
loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are
givers.

Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or
the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a
sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves
out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help
whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its
fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to get
all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I have
formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF) they are
all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so to speak)
when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection, love,
friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden, I
wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them.

It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence
here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes
Lori's story all too familiar to many of us..

Yowie



I loved your analysis. Could it be because we are "sucker bait"?
I remember once, long ago, someone called me a compulsive giver -- that
someone was always there to take.
Best wishes. MLB

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing
outside for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way
into heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways'
that find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the
shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones
with personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have
problems that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It
seems a common theme here.

Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other
people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own
BFF loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we
are givers.

Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or
the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a
sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves
out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help
whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its
fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to
get all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I
have formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF)
they are all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so
to speak) when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection,
love, friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden,
I wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them.

It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence
here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes
Lori's story all too familiar to many of us..

Yowie


Beautifully put. I'd like to add one more thing. It's never wrong to be
kind, so never feel guilty or mad at yourself for that.


--
Theresa and Dante

Stinky Forever: http://pets.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence
here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes
Lori's story all too familiar to many of us..

Yowie

I loved your analysis. *Could it be because we are "sucker bait"?
I remember once, long ago, someone called me a compulsive giver -- that
someone was always there to take.
Best wishes. * MLB


Someone once explained me as 'a person who gives 120%, but only
gets back 80%.

Yeah. That's me.

Jane
- owned and operated by the Princess Rita.

On Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:24:25 +1000, "Yowie"
wrote:

Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing outside
for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way into
heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways' that
find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the
shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones with
personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have problems
that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It seems a
common theme here.

Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other
people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own BFF
loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we are
givers.

I think that's pretty much true... most of us are here because we have
a lot of love to give. And who needs it more than the ones who appear
superficially unlovable? Being good-hearted souls we assume that other
people are like us too, and a lot of them are - but there are also a
lot of people who will take advantage of that. And the biggest problem
is telling the difference between them!

Yowie wrote:

Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or
the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a
sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves
out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help
whether it be feline or human.

I'm afraid my "giving" attitude mostly stops with the feline (and
canine) waifs - I have a rather jaundiced opinion of most of the adult
human variety!

one of the things i have figured out is that by taking in the broken and
stray, those we take in are happy to take the support, and we get kicked
when we appear weak, i am not sure if this is revenge for being able to
give, and they are not, or if it is revenge for appearing strong when they
feel weak, or if it is fear that someone who is caring for them might in
fact need help and so their selfish nature makes them strike out in fear
because they think their cushy postion is being threatened,

Lee


"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Most here are a sucker for the poor homeless waif that comes meowing
outside for a morsel of food. Many a cat in this group has found their way
into heart and home that way. And if we're not adopting the 'throw aways'
that find us, then we go seeking out the homeless and the wretched at the
shelters, and will still take the ones with the lopsided ears, the ones
with personality difficutlies due to previous abuses, the ones that have
problems that would otherwise make them unadoptable by 'regular' folk. It
seems a common theme here.

Reading Lori's story of her BFF betraying her, and then reading other
people's stories of having something similar happen to them, plus my own
BFF loss, it made me think a bit about our collective personality type: we
are givers.

Whether it is that poor half starved creature meowing at the back door or
the emotionally needy friend that suddenly turns on us when we all of a
sudden need them, I think its part of the 'giver' psyche to put ourselves
out to help those who seem somehow broken and in need of support and help
whether it be feline or human. Unfortunately this trait also attracts its
fair share of 'users' who use our good will and 'mothering' instincts to
get all they can out of our urge to help and heal. Looking at hte people I
have formed close relationships with in the past (Including the ex BFF)
they are all takers, all somewhat 'broken' people that I've taken in (so
to speak) when no-one else would have them, showered them with affection,
love, friendship etc etc and then when I needed something all of a sudden,
I wondered why on earth I end up getting kicked in the teeth by them.

It was jsut a passing thought, but it seems a bit more than a coincidence
here, and I was just pondering what it is we have in common that makes
Lori's story all too familiar to many of us..

Yowie

Kajikit wrote:

most of us are here because we have a lot of love to give. And
who needs it more than the ones who appear superficially unlovable?

You're right about people wanting to take on "unlovable" kitties and
other needy creatures - and maybe for some, human babies, too. But
definitely not adult humans. I see no evidence of anyone taking on
people who they see as unlovable.

Joyce

--
I think that most people, in the presence of true community, would be
terrified. Because it's demanding and intolerant. It's harsh. It's
cruel. For all of its kindness and generosity to those who belong,
it's generally not very kind to those who do not.
-- John Perry Barlow

wrote in message
...
Kajikit wrote:

most of us are here because we have a lot of love to give. And
who needs it more than the ones who appear superficially
unlovable?

You're right about people wanting to take on "unlovable" kitties
and
other needy creatures - and maybe for some, human babies, too. But
definitely not adult humans. I see no evidence of anyone taking on
people who they see as unlovable.

Joyce


Maybe not that they see as unlovable, but you really have to wonder
with a lot of couples you see. What on earth brought them together
or keeps them together. I see an awful lot of people with real
losers in the way of 'significant others'. But when its humans we
call it enabling.

Jo