OT - Question About Brooke

Whenever anyone asks how Brooke is doing through all this the answer is
"she's doing great, she's a little trooper". And she is - she never cries,
never complains, never questions God or fate. And that worries me.

Brooke was always "the good girl" - helping her mother out at home with her
two younger sisters, making straight As in school and working to get a
scholarship to help her parents with her college tuition (she is in the TOPS
program and even has enough extra credits to graduate with her class next
year even after missing more than half of this, her Junior, year), she was
an All-Star softball player, played trumpet in band, she never "got wild"
with boys or drink or cigarettes or drugs.

Sometimes I think that all of that may get a bit taken for granted. All of
that was/is just expected of her - and you know how we tend to live up to
people's expectations of us.

I'll never, ever, till the day I die, forget watching her face when the
doctor explained to her what she had. Her next younger sister was sitting
on the hospital bed next to her and started sobbing, and Brooke leaned over
to hug her and say, "It's OK, Lexie, this is the *good* type of cancer."
She kept a smile on her face the whole time as the doctor told her about
chemo and what it would do to her. She never complained as they came to her
every 15 minutes through the night, every night, to poke and prod and
administer the drugs that would make her ghastly ill. She comforted her
mother when Erin got a migraine from the stress of that first hospital
ordeal. She smiled and laughed about what type of wig or "do rag" she was
going to get to cover her bald head. She shrugs her shoulder and says
"fine" when you ask about the pain she's in (I know how I whine and cry
about the pain of a cold sore - I can't even imagine having dozens of them
at once in my mouth, on my lips, in my nose, even thinking about that turns
me queasy!). And all that worries me.

Yes, it's a good thing that she's so brave and good - it makes it a HELL of
a lot easier for all the rest of us to cope. But I'm worried about her
closing up all that fear and pain and frustration and anger inside of that
"good girl" exterior and not being able to ask and get the comfort *she* may
need.

And of course, all this is happening in another city from me so I can't be
there to step in and help. It's really frustrating and I'm trying to think
of something I could do. I *don't* want to just throw all this at my
daughter without any suggestions about what to do. Children's Hospital was
supposed to provide her with a counselor to help her get through this, but
New Orleans is still recovering from Katrina and everyone there is
over-worked and under-paid - the counselor has not spent more than 5 minutes
with Brooke while she was in the hospital and none since she's been home.
And you know that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" - everyone
concentrates on those child patients who are *obviously* in pain and need
and tend to overlook the one who *seems* to be coping.

Sorry, I know there's nothing anyone here can do to help that, I think I
just needed to express all this and rant a bit and curse the universe for
doing this to my baby girl!

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

Visit all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/

I can tell you from experience, I have lived with very serious pain all my
life, endured more than 15 surgeries and a multitude fof other health
issues, it myay really not be as bad for her as you think, first of all she
is young and the young have the ability to beleive they will, and often do
beat the odds, and since she knows she is loved it reallly is easier... I
don't want to make you think she is never scared, but the truth is is she is
at all pragmatic she will accept and endure because that is how we all
survive... I didn't Like what i went through, but i had no choice, my issues
weren't life threatening but still scarey, but then I saw the younger sister
of a classmate killed in front of me so i have always understood that life
is short and we must make the best of it... and one more thing and i will
shut up... when it comes to illness or abuse, i figured out pretty early
that the ill that befalls you is one blow, and i wasn't going to let the
illness or the abuser have the triumph of messing up the rest of my life,
Lee
"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Whenever anyone asks how Brooke is doing through all this the answer is
"she's doing great, she's a little trooper". And she is - she never
cries, never complains, never questions God or fate. And that worries me.

Brooke was always "the good girl" - helping her mother out at home with
her two younger sisters, making straight As in school and working to get a
scholarship to help her parents with her college tuition (she is in the
TOPS program and even has enough extra credits to graduate with her class
next year even after missing more than half of this, her Junior, year),
she was an All-Star softball player, played trumpet in band, she never
"got wild" with boys or drink or cigarettes or drugs.

Sometimes I think that all of that may get a bit taken for granted. All
of that was/is just expected of her - and you know how we tend to live up
to people's expectations of us.

I'll never, ever, till the day I die, forget watching her face when the
doctor explained to her what she had. Her next younger sister was sitting
on the hospital bed next to her and started sobbing, and Brooke leaned
over to hug her and say, "It's OK, Lexie, this is the *good* type of
cancer." She kept a smile on her face the whole time as the doctor told
her about chemo and what it would do to her. She never complained as they
came to her every 15 minutes through the night, every night, to poke and
prod and administer the drugs that would make her ghastly ill. She
comforted her mother when Erin got a migraine from the stress of that
first hospital ordeal. She smiled and laughed about what type of wig or
"do rag" she was going to get to cover her bald head. She shrugs her
shoulder and says "fine" when you ask about the pain she's in (I know how
I whine and cry about the pain of a cold sore - I can't even imagine
having dozens of them at once in my mouth, on my lips, in my nose, even
thinking about that turns me queasy!). And all that worries me.

Yes, it's a good thing that she's so brave and good - it makes it a HELL
of a lot easier for all the rest of us to cope. But I'm worried about her
closing up all that fear and pain and frustration and anger inside of that
"good girl" exterior and not being able to ask and get the comfort *she*
may need.

And of course, all this is happening in another city from me so I can't be
there to step in and help. It's really frustrating and I'm trying to
think of something I could do. I *don't* want to just throw all this at
my daughter without any suggestions about what to do. Children's Hospital
was supposed to provide her with a counselor to help her get through this,
but New Orleans is still recovering from Katrina and everyone there is
over-worked and under-paid - the counselor has not spent more than 5
minutes with Brooke while she was in the hospital and none since she's
been home. And you know that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" -
everyone concentrates on those child patients who are *obviously* in pain
and need and tend to overlook the one who *seems* to be coping.

Sorry, I know there's nothing anyone here can do to help that, I think I
just needed to express all this and rant a bit and curse the universe for
doing this to my baby girl!

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

Visit all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/

On Feb 27, 8:49*am, "CatNipped" wrote:
Whenever anyone asks how Brooke is doing through all this the answer is
"she's doing great, she's a little trooper". *And she is - she never cries,
never complains, never questions God or fate. *And that worries me.

Brooke was always "the good girl" - helping her mother out at home with her
two younger sisters, making straight As in school and working to get a
scholarship to help her parents with her college tuition (she is in the TOPS
program and even has enough extra credits to graduate with her class next
year even after missing more than half of this, her Junior, year), she was
an All-Star softball player, played trumpet in band, she never "got wild"
with boys or drink or cigarettes or drugs.

Sometimes I think that all of that may get a bit taken for granted. *All of
that was/is just expected of her - and you know how we tend to live up to
people's expectations of us.

I'll never, ever, till the day I die, forget watching her face when the
doctor explained to her what she had. *Her next younger sister was sitting
on the hospital bed next to her and started sobbing, and Brooke leaned over
to hug her and say, "It's OK, Lexie, this is the *good* type of cancer."
She kept a smile on her face the whole time as the doctor told her about
chemo and what it would do to her. *She never complained as they came to her
every 15 minutes through the night, every night, to poke and prod and
administer the drugs that would make her ghastly ill. *She comforted her
mother when Erin got a migraine from the stress of that first hospital
ordeal. *She smiled and laughed about what type of wig or "do rag" she was
going to get to cover her bald head. *She shrugs her shoulder and says
"fine" when you ask about the pain she's in (I know how I whine and cry
about the pain of a cold sore - I can't even imagine having dozens of them
at once in my mouth, on my lips, in my nose, even thinking about that turns
me queasy!). *And all that worries me.

Yes, it's a good thing that she's so brave and good - it makes it a HELL of
a lot easier for all the rest of us to cope. *But I'm worried about her
closing up all that fear and pain and frustration and anger inside of that
"good girl" exterior and not being able to ask and get the comfort *she* may
need.

And of course, all this is happening in another city from me so I can't be
there to step in and help. *It's really frustrating and I'm trying to think
of something I could do. *I *don't* want to just throw all this at my
daughter without any suggestions about what to do. *Children's Hospital was
supposed to provide her with a counselor to help her get through this, but
New Orleans is still recovering from Katrina and everyone there is
over-worked and under-paid - the counselor has not spent more than 5 minutes
with Brooke while she was in the hospital and none since she's been home.
And you know that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" - everyone
concentrates on those child patients who are *obviously* in pain and need
and tend to overlook the one who *seems* to be coping.

Sorry, I know there's nothing anyone here can do to help that, I think I
just needed to express all this and rant a bit and curse the universe for
doing this to my baby girl!

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

Visit all my masters at: *http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/

She *is* an amazing little girl. Especially the part about her trying
to comfort
her little sister really touched me. I know you wonder what she's
hiding
inside, and how much of her courage is put on for the sake of her
family. That
just shows incredible maturity for a girl her age.
My family member who is has inoperable cancer is going to a cancer
center where
they seem to treat her spirit, and her mind as well as her body with
all kinds of
support groups, counselors, etc. I think it's important for her to
have a non-family
member she can really let loose on and vent her fears and
frustrations. She won't
let that loose on any of us.
Maybe when MaMere visits, she can be the "squeaky wheel" for Brooke,
and see that
her emotional needs aren't being overlooked just because she appears
to be coping.
Sherry

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Whenever anyone asks how Brooke is doing through all this the answer is
"she's doing great, she's a little trooper". And she is - she never
cries, never complains, never questions God or fate. And that worries me.

Brooke was always "the good girl" - helping her mother out at home with
her two younger sisters, making straight As in school and working to get a
scholarship to help her parents with her college tuition (she is in the
TOPS program and even has enough extra credits to graduate with her class
next year even after missing more than half of this, her Junior, year),
she was an All-Star softball player, played trumpet in band, she never
"got wild" with boys or drink or cigarettes or drugs.

Sometimes I think that all of that may get a bit taken for granted. All
of that was/is just expected of her - and you know how we tend to live up
to people's expectations of us.

I'll never, ever, till the day I die, forget watching her face when the
doctor explained to her what she had. Her next younger sister was sitting
on the hospital bed next to her and started sobbing, and Brooke leaned
over to hug her and say, "It's OK, Lexie, this is the *good* type of
cancer." She kept a smile on her face the whole time as the doctor told
her about chemo and what it would do to her. She never complained as they
came to her every 15 minutes through the night, every night, to poke and
prod and administer the drugs that would make her ghastly ill. She
comforted her mother when Erin got a migraine from the stress of that
first hospital ordeal. She smiled and laughed about what type of wig or
"do rag" she was going to get to cover her bald head. She shrugs her
shoulder and says "fine" when you ask about the pain she's in (I know how
I whine and cry about the pain of a cold sore - I can't even imagine
having dozens of them at once in my mouth, on my lips, in my nose, even
thinking about that turns me queasy!). And all that worries me.

Yes, it's a good thing that she's so brave and good - it makes it a HELL
of a lot easier for all the rest of us to cope. But I'm worried about her
closing up all that fear and pain and frustration and anger inside of that
"good girl" exterior and not being able to ask and get the comfort *she*
may need.

And of course, all this is happening in another city from me so I can't be
there to step in and help. It's really frustrating and I'm trying to
think of something I could do. I *don't* want to just throw all this at
my daughter without any suggestions about what to do. Children's Hospital
was supposed to provide her with a counselor to help her get through this,
but New Orleans is still recovering from Katrina and everyone there is
over-worked and under-paid - the counselor has not spent more than 5
minutes with Brooke while she was in the hospital and none since she's
been home. And you know that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" -
everyone concentrates on those child patients who are *obviously* in pain
and need and tend to overlook the one who *seems* to be coping.

Sorry, I know there's nothing anyone here can do to help that, I think I
just needed to express all this and rant a bit and curse the universe for
doing this to my baby girl!

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

Visit all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/



Are there any support groups that Brooke could join--hospitals, churches,
community, etc.? I can well understand why you would be worried about
Brooke keeping everything bottled up inside. At the same time, I remember
when my brother-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia. His roommate at the
time said he "just couldn't understand" why George remained so cheerful.
George's attitude always was that it didn't help anyone--himself
included--to break down in misery, so he was going to look on the bright
side of things. And he really did. Somehow, George always found a way to
lift the spirits of those around him. It sounds like Brooke may have a
similar attitude. George was deeply religious, and that was something that
always guided him. I don't know what Brooke's background is in that area,
but there are many factors that can help a person cope with that type of
devastating illness. Brooke sounds like a very special girl, and I hope her
friends will continue to rally around her and continue to do "normal" things
with her (going to movies, restaurants, the beach, etc.) whenever her immune
system will permit it. That would be a tremendous help.

MaryL

You know what? I hope this doesn't come out wrong but after having taken
care of several family members over the years, some who lived and some
though didn't this is my 2 cents worth. It isn't easy to do but here is
what I think.

Brooke has to handle this anyway she can to keep her sanity. God willing it
will get better and then she and you all can deal with any emotional needs
she will have. If and we all pray it doesn't go a way we don't want it to,
she still has to handle it in her own way.

I have put her on every prayer list, at local churches and on line. You and
the family are there too. She has to handle it the only way she can and,
believe me, this way is better than the way some of my family have done it.
"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message
. ..

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Whenever anyone asks how Brooke is doing through all this the answer is
"she's doing great, she's a little trooper". And she is - she never
cries, never complains, never questions God or fate. And that worries
me.

Brooke was always "the good girl" - helping her mother out at home with
her two younger sisters, making straight As in school and working to get
a scholarship to help her parents with her college tuition (she is in the
TOPS program and even has enough extra credits to graduate with her class
next year even after missing more than half of this, her Junior, year),
she was an All-Star softball player, played trumpet in band, she never
"got wild" with boys or drink or cigarettes or drugs.

Sometimes I think that all of that may get a bit taken for granted. All
of that was/is just expected of her - and you know how we tend to live up
to people's expectations of us.

I'll never, ever, till the day I die, forget watching her face when the
doctor explained to her what she had. Her next younger sister was
sitting on the hospital bed next to her and started sobbing, and Brooke
leaned over to hug her and say, "It's OK, Lexie, this is the *good* type
of cancer." She kept a smile on her face the whole time as the doctor
told her about chemo and what it would do to her. She never complained
as they came to her every 15 minutes through the night, every night, to
poke and prod and administer the drugs that would make her ghastly ill.
She comforted her mother when Erin got a migraine from the stress of that
first hospital ordeal. She smiled and laughed about what type of wig or
"do rag" she was going to get to cover her bald head. She shrugs her
shoulder and says "fine" when you ask about the pain she's in (I know how
I whine and cry about the pain of a cold sore - I can't even imagine
having dozens of them at once in my mouth, on my lips, in my nose, even
thinking about that turns me queasy!). And all that worries me.

Yes, it's a good thing that she's so brave and good - it makes it a HELL
of a lot easier for all the rest of us to cope. But I'm worried about
her closing up all that fear and pain and frustration and anger inside of
that "good girl" exterior and not being able to ask and get the comfort
*she* may need.

And of course, all this is happening in another city from me so I can't
be there to step in and help. It's really frustrating and I'm trying to
think of something I could do. I *don't* want to just throw all this at
my daughter without any suggestions about what to do. Children's
Hospital was supposed to provide her with a counselor to help her get
through this, but New Orleans is still recovering from Katrina and
everyone there is over-worked and under-paid - the counselor has not
spent more than 5 minutes with Brooke while she was in the hospital and
none since she's been home. And you know that "the squeaky wheel gets the
grease" - everyone concentrates on those child patients who are
*obviously* in pain and need and tend to overlook the one who *seems* to
be coping.

Sorry, I know there's nothing anyone here can do to help that, I think I
just needed to express all this and rant a bit and curse the universe for
doing this to my baby girl!

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

Visit all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/



Are there any support groups that Brooke could join--hospitals, churches,
community, etc.? I can well understand why you would be worried about
Brooke keeping everything bottled up inside. At the same time, I remember
when my brother-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia. His roommate at the
time said he "just couldn't understand" why George remained so cheerful.
George's attitude always was that it didn't help anyone--himself
included--to break down in misery, so he was going to look on the bright
side of things. And he really did. Somehow, George always found a way to
lift the spirits of those around him. It sounds like Brooke may have a
similar attitude. George was deeply religious, and that was something
that always guided him. I don't know what Brooke's background is in that
area, but there are many factors that can help a person cope with that
type of devastating illness. Brooke sounds like a very special girl, and
I hope her friends will continue to rally around her and continue to do
"normal" things with her (going to movies, restaurants, the beach, etc.)
whenever her immune system will permit it. That would be a tremendous
help.

MaryL