A Joke

Actually, that is how I heard, read it!
"Victor Martinez" wrote in message
...
Granby wrote:
Victor, your one word response almost needed a BW.

Have been here about two years and have never seen you say

DOH!



Now picture that with a Homer Simpson voice...


--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

"Kyla =^..^=" wrote in message
...
What do you put on a Fractal sandwich?
Mandlebrot-wurst
*runs out of the room*

Hugs
Kyla


I'm a musician, not a mathematician (although I somewhat get the puns!); are
there any music geeks here?

Found on the web: http://www.classicalarchives.com/fun.html
Especially fun for theory geeks--those who have survived the full run of
music-major theory courses (harmony, counterpoint, form-and-analysis, etc.,
etc.).

Another buildup of really bad puns:

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve
minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them and
after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the
situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight
for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative
of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat
hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh
minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece
suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice
corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking pretty
sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." And in fact,
E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel.
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to
sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a
minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale
correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and
C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all
accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons,
the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble,
he needs a rest and closes the bar.

OBLIGATORY FELINE CONTENT:

The other night, Bubbles got it into her head to start rolling all over the
organ pedals. I turned the thing on, and she had a look of puzzlement as to
what was going on as she kept pressing pedals.... Priceless!

David

On Fri, 31 Oct 2008 06:14:43 +0000 (UTC), ScratchMonkey
wrote:

William Hamblen wrote in
:

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a peanut?

Elephant peanut cosine theta.

groan

Wait, isn't that the dot product? (Haven't touched this stuff in about 20
years.)

You sine on the dot-ted line.

Bud

That was good. All I really know is

If you don't C Sharp

you could B Flat.

Sorry
"David" wrote in message
acomip...
"Kyla =^..^=" wrote in message
...
What do you put on a Fractal sandwich?
Mandlebrot-wurst
*runs out of the room*

Hugs
Kyla


I'm a musician, not a mathematician (although I somewhat get the puns!);
are there any music geeks here?

Found on the web: http://www.classicalarchives.com/fun.html
Especially fun for theory geeks--those who have survived the full run of
music-major theory courses (harmony, counterpoint, form-and-analysis,
etc., etc.).

Another buildup of really bad puns:

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve
minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them and
after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the
situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads
straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices
a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the
seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece
suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice
corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking pretty
sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." And in
fact, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au
naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before,
begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a
minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale
correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however,
and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all
accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons,
the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much
treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.

OBLIGATORY FELINE CONTENT:

The other night, Bubbles got it into her head to start rolling all over
the organ pedals. I turned the thing on, and she had a look of puzzlement
as to what was going on as she kept pressing pedals.... Priceless!

David

Heck I didn't get any of the math but.....went and looked some of it up for
S and G's so in the end, learned a little something and that is what life is
all about. I liked the music thing though.
"hopitus" wrote in message
...
On Oct 31, 12:39 pm, "David" wrote:
"Kyla =^..^=" wrote in message

...

What do you put on a Fractal sandwich?
Mandlebrot-wurst
*runs out of the room*

Hugs
Kyla

I'm a musician, not a mathematician (although I somewhat get the puns!);
are
there any music geeks here?

Found on the web:http://www.classicalarchives.com/fun.html
Especially fun for theory geeks--those who have survived the full run of
music-major theory courses (harmony, counterpoint, form-and-analysis,
etc.,
etc.).

Another buildup of really bad puns:

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve
minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them and
after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the
situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads
straight
for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative
of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a
B-flat
hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh
minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece
suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice
corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking pretty
sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." And in
fact,
E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au
naturel.
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins
to
sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a
minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale
correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however,
and
C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all
accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so
patrons,
the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much
treble,
he needs a rest and closes the bar.

OBLIGATORY FELINE CONTENT:

The other night, Bubbles got it into her head to start rolling all over
the
organ pedals. I turned the thing on, and she had a look of puzzlement as
to
what was going on as she kept pressing pedals.... Priceless!

David

Well, thanks, David, I understood every word of your musical puns! I
hate math;
majored in romance languages, and play several brass instruments.You
must
have been as bored as I was with the higher math display here. We all
have
talents for different things, don't we? I really think my language
abilities serve
me more usefully in RL since school than higher math would've. Ted and
Bud:
I respect your knowledge but understand nothing of what you posted. It
doesn't
matter........

Nomen Nescio wrote in
:

Do I know you?

I was the guy with the hair halfway down his back and the "Repeal
Ohms Law" t-shirt.
That was mid-late 70's.

LOL, about 5 years early, I suspect. I got to MIT in 1980, left in 85. I
lived in Bexley (across the street from the main entrance). Wild guess: You
were East Campus, right? (For the lurkers, those two dorms were the
"hippy" dorms.) I was a 6.3.

Okay, I'd love to
Kyla
"Granby"
Hey Kyla, you started this...........! As my Bob used to say, if you
can't run with the Big Dogs, stay on the porch. You can sit beside me.
"Kyla =^..^=" ...

"Ted Davis"
On Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:44:49 +0000, bastXXXette wrote:

Caroline S.
"Kyla =^..^="

What do you put on a Fractal sandwich? Mandlebrot-wurst

I just watched a show about Mandelbrot and fractals *last night*.
That's
quite a coincidence! (Well, maybe not - did you also just watch that
show?) It was on "Nova", a one-hour science program on public TV.

Yowie responded:

(and, YAY! nerd humor! My favorite obscure nerdy joke is: what do
you
get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scalar!)

LOL!!

On the other hand, a vector and a scalar can be multiplied, can't they?
The product is another vector. (Reaching back over the years, trying to
remember...) So I guess that means that when a mountain climber and a
mosquito have children together, they produce more mosquitoes?

In the context of vectors, "cross" means to compute a cross product
between two 2D vectors in three space (and no scalars). Look up "cross
product" for more detail.

Grabs head and screams "the maaaath...the maaaaaaaath"
Kyla
Who loves the show NUMB3RS

--

T.E.D. ) MST (Missouri University of Science and
Technology)
used to be UMR (University of Missouri - Rolla).

bastXXXette...
Kyla =^..^= :

LOL.
I'm kind of clueless when it comes to 'real' math, however,
even though my late Dad was a math teacher at the
same High School when I was there. "That' was fun...not.

Fractals are real math!

I know that 'now'

Bummer about your dad teaching at your high school.

Yup, it really was. If I want a real LOL, I drag out my old 1962&1963
yearbooks and look at them and what people wrote to me. Boy, I weighed
about 96 lbs back then. LOL...and my then boyfriend was 6'8" and in the
ROTC. I don't think he went to Viet Nam because he had a heart murmer.
Good memories of High School, even tho Dad taught there. I was a real
practial joker back then..even wrecked the driver's ed car, but it wasn't my
fault...both the lights were green when the accident happened. IIRC, we
didn't wear seatbelts back then. I didn't realize it at the time, but my
High School in Denver was all White, except for a few Mexican-Americans.
No people of color till my Senior year. And our school flag was the
Confederate Flag :/ In hindsight, both my parents were racists :/ Not me
though, at least I had a brain in 'that' aspect. We had a Folk Song Club and
I was on the HS newspaper.
Kyla

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

"Victor Martinez" ...
bastXXXette
Bummer about your dad teaching at your high school.

Yup, it was, but I got away with murder evil grin

My mom (not a teacher, at the time a retired engineer looking for
something to do with her time) taught trigonometry and
probability/statistics to my high school class. Now, that was a most
interesting experience.

I'll bet No wonder I never even made Algebra 1,
Dad always gave me the 'answer books'. He wasn't allowed to have me in his
classes however. Thank God for that. Didn't go to me Senior Prom because
Mom and Dad were the 'chaperones', so I threw a small wild party while the
Prom was going on..hee hee hee. Made sure everyone was gone and evidence
cleaned up by the time they got home..

Kyla
--the math impaired 'bad' girl

--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

"ScratchMonkey"
William Hamblen :

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a peanut?

Elephant peanut cosine theta.
I don't 'get it' ...I'm 'math impaired'..remember?

groan

Wait, isn't that the dot product? (Haven't touched this stuff in about 20
years.)

I still love Dots, the candy. Loathe Black Crows, not a big black licorice
fan.
Don't like the band much either. Ho hum, that's just me.

Kyla