Blessing in disguise

Bridget wrote:
I think Tweed is quite spoiled on her cats from the way she talks about
them. There really isn't anything she wouldn't do to make sure they are
comfortable and healthy. It isn't required that they sleep in her bed
for her to be a good slave and for them to be happy cats.

No, it's not required, but she needn't make snide remarks about those of
us who choose to let our cats sleep with us, either.

I'm lucky with Mir and Caliban. They both settle down for the night on
the bed, and often they will still be sound asleep in the morning.
Sometimes they leave during the night, but quietly. They never wake me up.

Frank used to wake me early in the morning until I stopped feeding him
first thing. When he'd learned not to equate me getting up with being
fed, he stopped waking me early.

--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

Marina wrote:

Frank used to wake me early in the morning until I stopped feeding him
first thing. When he'd learned not to equate me getting up with being
fed, he stopped waking me early.

I do the same thing here. I get up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth,
shower and get dressed. And *then* I feed the cats. So they know that
just getting me up isn't going to immediately bring them food. They're
mostly pretty good about this. When they do wake me up, it's usually not
deliberate.

Joyce
--
To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name.

Marina wrote:

Bridget wrote:

I think Tweed is quite spoiled on her cats from the way she talks
about them. There really isn't anything she wouldn't do to make sure
they are comfortable and healthy. It isn't required that they sleep in
her bed for her to be a good slave and for them to be happy cats.


No, it's not required, but she needn't make snide remarks about those of
us who choose to let our cats sleep with us, either.

Exactly! "Tweed" reminds me a bit of my mother - for her
there were only two ways of doing things - her way and the
wrong way! (Probably that's why some of my replies to Tweed
are a bit more acid than they need be.)

"~*LiveLoveLaugh*~" wrote in message
...
"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
...
I am always amused by folks who allow their cats to sleep with them
and then
wonder why they are disturbed.

Tweed

I'm very lucky with my guys - they've learned that they do not under
any circumstances wake me up before the alarm clock. After they've
heard the alarm, then I'm fair game! They're so well trained that when
I'm away my pet-sitter has to set the alarm for them in the mornings
to get them out of bed for breakfast!!


Mine can also get me when the alarm goes off, but being a nuisance in the
night is not an option and they both know it. Not to say that they have
have not both tried on a few occasions. Failed miserably because I
refused to respond and they gave up.
I don't know how Susan copes with Otis waking her up nightly. She's a
nicer person than I am, to be sure.

My Basset Hound will be 12 in June. He can no longer hold his pee all
night. Anywhere between 1 a.m. to 4 a.m., he wakes me up to go out. And
this is EVERY night. I'm in upstate NY, so I have to get completely
dressed with scarf, hat, gloves and big winter coat. I would never, ever
have it any other way b/c he is a part of my life... NOT a "nuisance".
Frankly, I feel sorry for your cats. Never knowing what cuddling up w/the
human is like??????????? Well, it's just plain sad... really sad.

I think you misunderstand me. When my whippets were at near the end of
their life they were in bed with me every night so I could care for their
needs. They were not a nuisance,
I do not find it necessary to have healthy cats in/on my bed every night.
Yet.
Do not feel sorry for my cats, they have a good life. We do cuddle and if
I thought they needed to be in my bedroom I would let them in there.
They don't.

Tweed

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message
...


Bridget wrote:

I think Tweed is quite spoiled on her cats from the way she talks about
them. There really isn't anything she wouldn't do to make sure they are
comfortable and healthy. It isn't required that they sleep in her bed for
her to be a good slave and for them to be happy cats.

Possibly true. However, I resent her assuming that those of us who prefer
to let our cats sleep with us are somehow at fault. Mine seldom disturb
me, I am more likely to disturb THEM, with turning in bed or getting up to
use the bathroom.

I do not resent anything, none are at fault for
allowing cats to sleep with them. It does not work for me is all I am
saying. If I was retired from work it could be different.

"Marina" wrote in message
...
Bridget wrote:
I think Tweed is quite spoiled on her cats from the way she talks about
them. There really isn't anything she wouldn't do to make sure they are
comfortable and healthy. It isn't required that they sleep in her bed for
her to be a good slave and for them to be happy cats.

No, it's not required, but she needn't make snide remarks about those of
us who choose to let our cats sleep with us, either.

I didn't intend to make snide remarks. I don't do that. Upset now






I di

My cats take turns from the bed to somewhere else. I have been known to
roll on them and they have learned that if they feel movement...HEAD FOR
HIGHER GROUND!
"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message
...


Bridget wrote:

I think Tweed is quite spoiled on her cats from the way she talks about
them. There really isn't anything she wouldn't do to make sure they are
comfortable and healthy. It isn't required that they sleep in her bed
for her to be a good slave and for them to be happy cats.

Possibly true. However, I resent her assuming that those of us who
prefer to let our cats sleep with us are somehow at fault. Mine seldom
disturb me, I am more likely to disturb THEM, with turning in bed or
getting up to use the bathroom.

I do not resent anything, none are at fault for
allowing cats to sleep with them. It does not work for me is all I am
saying. If I was retired from work it could be different.

Christina Websell wrote:

"Marina" wrote in message

No, it's not required, but she needn't make snide remarks about those of
us who choose to let our cats sleep with us, either.

I didn't intend to make snide remarks. I don't do that. Upset now

Tweed, I don't think you mean to make snide remarks either. Sometimes
you do sound a little cranky or impatient, when somebody says something
you think is stupid, or obvious, or just plain wrong, and that might be
interpreted as snide. I don't think you intend to be mean or hurtful,
but sometimes it's hard to control how the tone of a post will be heard
on the other end.

You heard people complaining about a poor night's sleep, and I imagine
that your thought process went something like this: "I value my sleep,
so I don't allow my cats to sleep with me. They allow their cats to
sleep with them, and now they're complaining that they don't sleep well -
what's wrong with this picture??" (Is that close?)

So maybe you didn't mean to judge people for their choices as much as,
maybe, you were wondering why they weren't seeing what you consider to
be obvious? Again, it's hard to know how someone's going to take your
comments, even when they're well-meaning.

Often, comments can be taken as negative more for what *isn't* said
than for what is said. I have found that it pays to throw in an extra
sentence or two to reassure people I'm not judging or being snide, etc.,
when expressing a strong opinion. It may not seem necessary to you
because you know what your intentions are. But people read things into
what other people say, especially when there are fewer cues, such as
online. So what does it hurt to say, "Just my own experience", "Not
meaning to tell people what to do," etc.?

Just my experience.

Joyce
--
To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name.

wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:

"Marina" wrote in message

No, it's not required, but she needn't make snide remarks about those
of
us who choose to let our cats sleep with us, either.

I didn't intend to make snide remarks. I don't do that. Upset now

Tweed, I don't think you mean to make snide remarks either. Sometimes
you do sound a little cranky or impatient, when somebody says something
you think is stupid, or obvious, or just plain wrong, and that might be
interpreted as snide. I don't think you intend to be mean or hurtful,
but sometimes it's hard to control how the tone of a post will be heard
on the other end.

You heard people complaining about a poor night's sleep, and I imagine
that your thought process went something like this: "I value my sleep,
so I don't allow my cats to sleep with me. They allow their cats to
sleep with them, and now they're complaining that they don't sleep well -
what's wrong with this picture??" (Is that close?)

Yes.



So maybe you didn't mean to judge people for their choices as much as,
maybe, you were wondering why they weren't seeing what you consider to
be obvious? Again, it's hard to know how someone's going to take your
comments, even when they're well-meaning.

Often, comments can be taken as negative more for what *isn't* said
than for what is said. I have found that it pays to throw in an extra
sentence or two to reassure people I'm not judging or being snide, etc.,
when expressing a strong opinion. It may not seem necessary to you
because you know what your intentions are. But people read things into
what other people say, especially when there are fewer cues, such as
online. So what does it hurt to say, "Just my own experience", "Not
meaning to tell people what to do," etc.?


I'm sorry if what I said was upsetting, I did not mean it to be, truly. I
will stay away for a while.







..

On 29 Jan 2008 22:22:20 GMT, wrote:

Tweed, I don't think you mean to make snide remarks either. Sometimes
you do sound a little cranky or impatient, when somebody says something
you think is stupid, or obvious, or just plain wrong, and that might be
interpreted as snide. I don't think you intend to be mean or hurtful,
but sometimes it's hard to control how the tone of a post will be heard
on the other end.

You heard people complaining about a poor night's sleep, and I imagine
that your thought process went something like this: "I value my sleep,
so I don't allow my cats to sleep with me. They allow their cats to
sleep with them, and now they're complaining that they don't sleep well -
what's wrong with this picture??" (Is that close?)

So maybe you didn't mean to judge people for their choices as much as,
maybe, you were wondering why they weren't seeing what you consider to
be obvious? Again, it's hard to know how someone's going to take your
comments, even when they're well-meaning.

Often, comments can be taken as negative more for what *isn't* said
than for what is said. I have found that it pays to throw in an extra
sentence or two to reassure people I'm not judging or being snide, etc.,
when expressing a strong opinion. It may not seem necessary to you
because you know what your intentions are. But people read things into
what other people say, especially when there are fewer cues, such as
online. So what does it hurt to say, "Just my own experience", "Not
meaning to tell people what to do," etc.?

Just my experience.

Joyce

I should probably just stay out of this, but I agree with what Joyce
is saying. I don't think you meant anything other than to, like Joyce
said, post what works for you personally. You're not the only one who
has written that they don't allow cats to join them in the bedroom.

OTOH, for some having a cat join them on the bed is one of the nice
things about having a cat. For some, having a purring cat curled up on
the pillow next to them is just about the cat's meow ;-) I've read
more than once that when a cat has gone over the Bridge the thing
their person misses the most is not having that warm body purring away
next to them when they go to bed. While I don't think you meant to be
snide or hurtful, I think your reply touched a raw nerve this time.