4: Meowchat FAQ

Meowchat FAQ

Compiled by Kathy Gittel, of Milan, New York, USA.

How cats post to RPCC [rec.pets.cats.community]

by several cats and a hoomin!

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1 Meowchat from 2 Meowchat from
cats' point of view hoomins' point of view

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Meowchat

from cats' point of view

Chester and Clarence

if there is going to be a faq for meowchat dont you hoomins think you
oughta ask us to help put it together we might have some good ideas for
you and we can help you keep it on track like talking about us more and
not all this silly innerneck stuff

Phydeaux, Bauzeur & Squeak

We agree. As we all know when it is 5.30 in the morning and time to be
fed NOW, hoomins can take ages to get round to doing things, so we cats
should take over. At the end, we can hand it over to them like a dead
mouse and say "Here it is, you can finish it off".

We don't mind being the assemblers of contributions, unless some other
kitties would like to do it. You can post here, or email to us with your
suggestions. Here's some ideas - feel free to suggest alterations and
additions, we won't hiss. We've got our hoomin to check our speling to
make sure it's acceptable to hoomin readers.

Phydeaux, Bauzeur & Squeak

Jaeger, Ebony and Sheba

1. What is Meowchat?

Meowchat is where us kitties talk to each other, and pass on interesting
and useful information, like how to treat your human and how to open
clam shells. Kitties also post food for each other. It is almost
exclusively for cats, but humans and other life-forms are welcome to
join in as long as they make it clear who they are. Humans pretending to
be cats are definitely not permitted to post.

2. Why is the spelling so strange?

All of us are, of course, highly intelligent. Most of us have tertiary
edukashun, and there are many regular posters with Ph Ds and so on.
However, we do not consider ourselves bound by human rules and
regulations and will therefore spell words any way we please. We all
spell better in English than humans do in Cattish and, besides, how good
was your spelling when you were two years old? Some of us also have
difficulty spelling because our paws don't fit the human keyboard or
because we telepathically send our posts to our humans, who type them
for us, and something gets lost in the translation. Some of us, though,
send telephatically directly to the computer, which spells most words
the way humans do. Those of us who do that have difficulty spelling
things strangely.

Other cats have other reasons (in their own spelling):

"Were pretty non-judge-mental talking among ourselves. Not baby-talk,
just intellecual discuzzionz. When you talk or write like a human you
have ta follow all the rulez. Catz are much better than hoomins at word-
play n punz. Has yer hoomin ever been ta a Mask-er-raid party? Same
thing. Your're welcome ta talk yer talk n walk yer walk. Have fun n join
us. BTW, we ARE quite literate, thank you." - Spike D.O.C.

"Wanted to add, I figure uf catf are clofe to fpellin like back in the
dayf of Chaucer. Alfo, Fhakefpeare'f fpellin waf pretty ftange." - Fpike
D.O.C

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote Chaucer-
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote, Canterbury Tales
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
of which vertu engenred is the fleur.... "Fhit, yef.
Couldn't agree
more!" Mike

3. How do I post in meowchat?

It's easy. You just say "Hi, my name is.......... I'm a beautiful cat
and would like to talk to all you other kitties". If you are starting a
new thread, please put MEOW somewhere in the subject line, so that
humans don't get it mixed up with their posts, otherwise they're likely
to get upset. If you include food in your first posting, it speeds up
the process of making friends, but this is not necessary.

4. What is bad Netiquette in Meowchat?

* Don't insult anycats body shape. All cats are, by definition,
purrrfect.
* Don't eat food unless it is directed at you, or all cats. If you
do, you may be called a food purrglar.
* Don't send catnip to a cat who is a reformed nipaholic.
* Don't post while standing on the worktop, or your human may get
upset.
* Don't interfere in winkwink relationships.
* If you are using your human's computer, be very careful about
hairballs. If you try to post one to another cat and miss, you
could find yourself unable to post for a while.
* If your human has to pay for computer time by the minute, please
keep your mind on your posting, and don't break off to play with
the computer mouse while you're online.

If you are going to be a serious Net user, the book "Internet for Cats"
has a lot of further information on Netiquette for Cats.

5. You use a lot of jargon in Meowchat - what does it all mean?

TED
The Evil Doctor. The men and women that our humans call Vets.

Growlmonster
vacuum cleaner(sum call it the antiKrist)

Meowmie
Our hoomin mommy

Winkwinkfriend
A serious and long-term relationship between a female and male cat
who have both been fixed when they weren't even broke.

ROTFLMTO
Rolled On The Floor Laughing My Tail Off.

hoomin
human

d*g
d*g (sorry but we aren't allowed to translate this word-it is a
sub-cat life form)

Mummy/Daddy/Meowmie
a polite word for our humans, instead of the usual terms we use,
like two-legged, tailless can-opener or human slave. This is
intended to flatter them into giving us lots of access time.

OCC/BCC/TCC etc
Orange Cat Club, Black Cat Club, Tuxedo Cat Club and so on.
Subgroups of Meowchat.

ISP
We don't know what this means either. It's the excuse humans use
when they won't let us post for days and days. They always say it's
the ISP's fault.

6. How do I open clam shells?

The do-it-yourself way is with a crowbar, or lie on your back with the
clams on your chest and hit them with a rock. Alternatively, send them
to another cat, who would be happy to open them for your and send you
back the nice clean opened clam shells with the nasty insides removed
(heeheehee).

Jaeger, Ebony and Sheba

MEOWCHAT is controversial and someone once suggested a list of answers
to the "problem " Meows create. Iist follows:

meowchat. code M. modifiers:

M--- it's stupid and meowchatters should be shown the door.
M-- it's fun but does my cat really think that way?
M- i'm afraid meowchat is causing some trouble here.
M0 (zero) no opinion or it's in my killfile
M+ hey, this is fun! but i can't do it myself
M++ meowchat rules
M+++ let's get rid of the humans! they post way too much anyway.

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Meowchat

from hoomins' point of view

Well, basically, MEOW or MEOWCHAT is used to designate posts that are
written from a cat's point of view (or the human poster's creative
version thereof). Some of them are Just For Fun, and some of them have
become elaborate group creations--the kitties all went hunting Cadburys
recently (being curious about where those chocolate Cadbury eggs come
from at Easter, they discovered that a sea-monster sighted off the coast
of Vancouver Island was called the Cadburosaurus and figured this must
be the Cadbury--so a bunch of them went off in a tuna boat to snare some
cadburys which they brought back to be cooked and served at a big party
that lots more kitties came to--these adventures are detailed--with
photos--in Newton's diary at Newton's Alley. Check it out! It's a
delight!). They've also had a souven hunt (for the souven ears--say it
out loud--which they found quite tasty). Now they're planning a prom--
the Fur Ball--for next weekend. And a mentor-mentee convention in June.
(My cats seem to have a much more active social life than I ever did!)

In other posts, the kitties ask their friends for advice on what happens
when they get taken to get their teeth cleaned, or ask for "purrs" to
help a sick kitty get better -- these posts can be surprisingly
informative or helpful, especially when someone with an ailling cat gets
lots of replies of concern and support.

And some of the posts are just plain silly--wordplay and puns and
jokes--just having fun.

There seems to be an evolving MEOWchat "dialect," that some have
characterized as "baby-talk," but is more a combination of phonetic
spelling, imaginative constructions, puns, etc.--some cats post in more
conventional English than others, and there have been a variety of
discussions (some quite heated :-( ) about whether or not the MEOWchat-
ese is understandable, desirable, enjoyable, etc.

For myself, I find it an enlightening exercise to try to imagine how the
world might look from my cat's point of view, or how my very different
cats would each respond to a particular situation. I've met some great
people through MEOWchat, and have had an incredible amount of fun. It's
a great group, and very welcoming, so if you've a mind, tell your cats
(it can be hard to get the computer away from them once they start,
though). On the other hand, ymmv, and there are some folks who are not
quite so, shall we say, enthusiastic about MEOWchat -- for those who
have killfile capabilities or other ways to sort out wanted from
unwanted posts, we try to remember to put MEOW in the header to make
that easier, and to make it clear that cats are posting here. But give
it some time if you can--it can really grow on you, and you're more than
welcome to join in!

--Sherry
(Hoomin to Ceilidh & Skye
Mom to Talisker Pippin)




This document may also be found at

http://blakjak.com/meow_faq.htm



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