Mom Update 11/19/08 Oops!

Bridget wrote:
Oh Jill,

You are the daughter most parents dream of having to take care of
them when they get old. You have done your parents a great service
this week in how you have handled yourself in taking on what needs to
be taken on. They taught you well and you must love them dearly.

That being said, I hope things get settled down quickly so you can
get some rest at last and settle into some kind of routine - that
being best for both you and your mom. Your dedication, endurance and
stamina are inspiring to me. I hope at some time in my life I have
the chance to take care of someone with the amount of love you are
taking care of your mother.

Bridget

Thank you for your very kind words. They cheer me greatly.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
I didn't think I'd need anyone here with Mom at night. I let the
CNA leave at 7PM last night and figured things would be okay. I was
wrong! I was trying to get some sleep but something woke me about
10PM. I looked in on Mom and she was very agitated for some reason.
I called the hospice nurse; she brought over some Ativan and gave
Mom one .5MG tablet. Got her calmed down and she went to sleep. I
figured I could go back to sleep. Something woke me again around
12:30AM. I went to check on Mom again and she was on the floor! Oh
crap.

I don't know if she tried to get up or if she simply rolled off the
bed. (I think she probably rolled.) She can only sleep comfortably
on her right side. Well, she was on the floor on her *left* side
(the broken hip side), curled in a fetal position. She was
completely out of it due to the Ativan. I couldn't get her to tell
me if she was in pain so I don't know if she injured herself or what.

I called the hospice nurse again. Her only suggestion at that point
was to call the fire department to get someone to lift her back on
the bed. I called the security gate instead. They sent over a big
burley guy who just happened to be a former paramedic. We got Mom
moved onto a turn sheet. He cocooned her head and grabbed the
middle of the sheet around her while I lifted her feet. We got her
position in the MIDDLE of the bed this time, but turned again on her
right side. He asked me for some thick books and tucked them
underneath the mattress to tilt it up to prevent her from rolling
off the edge.

Between her unexpected discharge, me scrambling to get the help I
needed and her coming home yesterday this is pretty much day three
with only a few hours sleep. I kept getting up to check on her. A
nurse will be calling me later in the morning and probably coming
over to assess whether she's in pain. And I've left a message
saying yep, I think I do need someone from Right At Home to stay in
her room all night.

The hospice nurse also suggested I look into "toddler bed rails" that
slide under the mattress since there's no good place to put an actual
hospital bed. She said she knows they sell them at WalMart. I'm
running on empty. (sigh)

Jill

MaryL wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
MaryL wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
Oh crap. The hospice nurse also suggested I look into "toddler bed
You might also want to consider getting an adjustable hospital bed
and put your mother's bed into storage (temporarily). A hospital
bed would provide security for your mother, and it would probably
be more comfortable because it can be adjusted for legs, hips, and
head. It would even be more comfortable for you or others to make
the bed and turn your mother because it can easily be raised. Be
sure to get an *electric* bed, if possible. I think Medicare will
cover almost all of the cost, with a doctor's prescription. I had
one for my mother, and it makes a big difference for a person who
has to spend most of the day in bed. It can later be returned (and
get her bed out of storage) if it is no longer needed.
MaryL


Problem is, how am I supposed to disassemble her solid-wood frame
(read *heavy*) bed and move it, the mattress and box springs by
myself? I'm all alone here. I asked the hospice nurse about it. She
said the people who deliver the bed *might* dissasemble her bed
and move everything to the garage but maybe not. The guy who
delivered the wheelchair and bedside commode practically ran out the
door. He still had a ton of deliveries to make. He was supposed to
drop those things off at our house in the early morning. He showed
up around 1:45PM. Jill

I made arrangements *in advance* for the people who delivered the
electric bed to also take Mother's bed apart and move it to the
garage. If that isn't possible, you may need to hire someone. A
good starting point would be Goodwill or a similar organization. They
often have lists available. You probably will find that the
people who deliver the electric bed will do this if you make it clear
that (1) they will need to assemble the bed for you and (2) there
won't be room for it until they remove the other bed.
MaryL

I'm getting one of the bed rails that fits under the mattress. We'll try
that first. I'm also arranging for someone to be here at night. If this
doesn't work then I'll find out if the hospital supply folks will tear down
her bed before bringing in the hospital bed. There's room to store it in
the garage. Thanks!

Jill

{{{{Jill}}}}! You definitely need more help, if only to get some sleep
yourself. We're thinking of you and sending high-octane purrs to help you
cope.
Christine
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
I didn't think I'd need anyone here with Mom at night. I let the CNA leave
at 7PM last night and figured things would be okay. I was wrong! I was
trying to get some sleep but something woke me about 10PM. I looked in on
Mom and she was very agitated for some reason. I called the hospice nurse;
she brought over some Ativan and gave Mom one .5MG tablet. Got her calmed
down and she went to sleep. I figured I could go back to sleep. Something
woke me again around 12:30AM. I went to check on Mom again and she was on
the floor! Oh crap.

I don't know if she tried to get up or if she simply rolled off the bed.
(I think she probably rolled.) She can only sleep comfortably on her
right side. Well, she was on the floor on her *left* side (the broken hip
side), curled in a fetal position. She was completely out of it due to
the Ativan. I couldn't get her to tell me if she was in pain so I don't
know if she injured herself or what.

I called the hospice nurse again. Her only suggestion at that point was
to call the fire department to get someone to lift her back on the bed. I
called the security gate instead. They sent over a big burley guy who
just happened to be a former paramedic. We got Mom moved onto a turn
sheet. He cocooned her head and grabbed the middle of the sheet around
her while I lifted her feet. We got her position in the MIDDLE of the bed
this time, but turned again on her right side. He asked me for some thick
books and tucked them underneath the mattress to tilt it up to prevent her
from rolling off the edge.

Between her unexpected discharge, me scrambling to get the help I needed
and her coming home yesterday this is pretty much day three with only a
few hours sleep. I kept getting up to check on her. A nurse will be
calling me later in the morning and probably coming over to assess whether
she's in pain. And I've left a message saying yep, I think I do need
someone from Right At Home to stay in her room all night.

The hospice nurse also suggested I look into "toddler bed rails" that
slide under the mattress since there's no good place to put an actual
hospital bed. She said she knows they sell them at WalMart. I'm running
on empty. (sigh)

Jill

Jill i second what bridget says, your my hero, i knoiw when my mom broke
her knee, when she got home from the rehab, the first few weeks were kind
of nuts, but now she uses a cane and just does a lot of stuff on her on,
BTW my mom siad if we made through al this without us killing each other
i am going to have a steak dinner, OH JOY

Oh Jill,

You are the daughter most parents dream of having to take care of them
when they get old. You have done your parents a great service this
week in how you have handled yourself in taking on what needs to be
taken on. They taught you well and you must love them dearly.

That being said, I hope things get settled down quickly so you can get
some rest at last and settle into some kind of routine - that being
best for both you and your mom. Your dedication, endurance and stamina
are inspiring to me. I hope at some time in my life I have the chance
to take care of someone with the amount of love you are taking care of
your mother.

Bridget

jmcquown wrote:
MaryL wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
MaryL wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
I made arrangements *in advance* for the people who delivered the
electric bed to also take Mother's bed apart and move it to the
garage. If that isn't possible, you may need to hire someone. A
good starting point would be Goodwill or a similar organization. They
often have lists available. You probably will find that the
people who deliver the electric bed will do this if you make it clear
that (1) they will need to assemble the bed for you and (2) there
won't be room for it until they remove the other bed.
MaryL

I'm getting one of the bed rails that fits under the mattress. We'll
try that first. I'm also arranging for someone to be here at night. If
this doesn't work then I'll find out if the hospital supply folks
will tear down her bed before bringing in the hospital bed. There's
room to store it in the garage. Thanks!

The social worker with the hospice checked on the equipment supply place
disassembling Mom's bed if it turns out we want a hospital bed. They said
they won't do it because of "liability". Apparently they're afraid they'll
damage someone's property and get sued (or maybe they already were). I'll
cross that bridge when we come to it. For now I'm going to try the bed
rail. I really prefer she stay in her own bed as long as possible. She's
had enough of hospital beds!

Jill

MaryL, anyone who finds someone like that is blessed. Seems especially if
you are a care giver, there is always something that needs, changed or
installed.
"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message
. ..

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
MaryL wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
I didn't think I'd need anyone here with Mom at night. I let the
CNA leave at 7PM last night and figured things would be okay. I was
wrong! I was trying to get some sleep but something woke me about
10PM. I looked in on Mom and she was very agitated for some reason.
I called the hospice nurse; she brought over some Ativan and gave
Mom one .5MG tablet. Got her calmed down and she went to sleep. I
figured I could go back to sleep. Something woke me again around
12:30AM. I went to check on Mom again and she was on the floor! Oh
crap. The hospice nurse also suggested I look into "toddler bed rails"
that
slide under the mattress since there's no good place to put an actual
hospital bed. She said she knows they sell them at WalMart. I'm
running on empty. (sigh)

Jill



One final suggestion, and I don't know how practical this is in the area
where you a I found a man who does all sorts of "handyman" work. He
has been a lifesaver! He doesn't come cheap, but I never question what he
charges -- he is honest and is well worth the cost. I first used hime
when I needed someone to install some "rails" all along the sides of the
hallway. They had to be very sturdy for Mother, and I also wanted them to
"blend in" as much as possible. Next, I bought some heavy-duty handrails
for the bathtub. Unfortunately, I have those viny tub surrounds, so
hardware cannot be mounted on that. He located studs immediately beside
the outer edge and mounted two handrails vertically (one at the height
when a person is sitting and one for standing). That was 11 years ago,
and I have continued to use his services ever since. It's amazing how
many times I have needed someone to do something, and he can do almost
everything "large or small." I originally obtained his name from a health
care service.

MaryL

"Granby" wrote in message
...
MaryL, anyone who finds someone like that is blessed. Seems especially if
you are a care giver, there is always something that needs, changed or
installed.

Yes, it really has been a blessing, and it especially was when Mother was
alive and I needed some special services. He is a retired firefighter, so
he also knows a lot about safety standards.

MaryL

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
I didn't think I'd need anyone here with Mom at night. I let the CNA
leave at 7PM last night and figured things would be okay. I was
wrong! I was trying to get some sleep but something woke me about
10PM. I looked in on Mom and she was very agitated for some reason.
I called the hospice nurse; she brought over some Ativan and gave Mom
one .5MG tablet. Got her calmed down and she went to sleep. I
figured I could go back to sleep. Something woke me again around
12:30AM. I went to check on Mom again and she was on the floor! Oh
crap.

I don't know if she tried to get up or if she simply rolled off the
bed. (I think she probably rolled.) She can only sleep comfortably
on her right side. Well, she was on the floor on her *left* side
(the broken hip side), curled in a fetal position. She was
completely out of it due to the Ativan. I couldn't get her to tell
me if she was in pain so I don't know if she injured herself or
what.

I called the hospice nurse again. Her only suggestion at that point
was to call the fire department to get someone to lift her back on
the bed. I called the security gate instead. They sent over a big
burley guy who just happened to be a former paramedic. We got Mom
moved onto a turn sheet. He cocooned her head and grabbed the
middle of the sheet around her while I lifted her feet. We got her
position in the MIDDLE of the bed this time, but turned again on her
right side. He asked me for some thick books and tucked them
underneath the mattress to tilt it up to prevent her from rolling
off the edge.

Between her unexpected discharge, me scrambling to get the help I
needed and her coming home yesterday this is pretty much day three
with only a few hours sleep. I kept getting up to check on her. A
nurse will be calling me later in the morning and probably coming
over to assess whether she's in pain. And I've left a message
saying yep, I think I do need someone from Right At Home to stay in
her room all night.

The hospice nurse also suggested I look into "toddler bed rails"
that slide under the mattress since there's no good place to put an
actual hospital bed. She said she knows they sell them at WalMart.
I'm running on empty. (sigh)

Jill

When you have a chance to actually think about it, (I can only imagine
how fried you are right now).

Wouldn't it be better to get rid of the regular bed in your mother's
room and replace it with a hospital bed? It doesn't sound like she is
going to be needing a regular bed. A decent hospital type bed would
make it so much easier for everyone to help her, I know that being
able to elevate her head or feet sometimes would make her more
comfortable. Rails that can be raised and lowered at will would be a
huge help.

The current bed could be stored in the garage, or even a rented
storage unit. Most of the storage places have someone that will pick
up and move things for you.

The places that rent hospital type equipment are also great at set-up.

BTW, if she is using depends, one of those containers they make for
disposing of used diapers can be awfully handy too.

Jo

Jofirey wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
I didn't think I'd need anyone here with Mom at night. I let the CNA
leave at 7PM last night and figured things would be okay. I was
wrong! I was trying to get some sleep but something woke me about
10PM. I looked in on Mom and she was very agitated for some reason.
I called the hospice nurse; she brought over some Ativan and gave Mom
one .5MG tablet. Got her calmed down and she went to sleep. I
figured I could go back to sleep. Something woke me again around
12:30AM. I went to check on Mom again and she was on the floor! Oh
crap.

The places that rent hospital type equipment are also great at set-up.

I don't know what you mean by "set-up". The place where the hospice uses to
get equipment says they won't tear down her bed for "liability" reasons.
For now I'm going to install a bed rail (it slides under the mattress). I'd
rather not throw her back into a hospital bed the minute she returns
(returned) home. She's had her fill of them and I want her to feel like
she *is* home. I suspect it was the Ativan they gave her earlier in the
night when she became agitated. She was completely disoriented and rolled
right off the bed. I really don't think she tried to get up out of it.

I've got someone coming in at night starting tonight.

BTW, if she is using depends, one of those containers they make for
disposing of used diapers can be awfully handy too.

Thanks, I'll look into that. I wonder if the hospice can provide one? They
seem to be able to provide everything from the Depends themselves to rubber
gloves to lotion to rub on her skin...

Jill

hopitus wrote:
On Nov 19, 11:58 am, "Jofirey" wrote:
"jmcquown" wrote in message

...



I didn't think I'd need anyone here with Mom at night. I let the
CNA leave at 7PM last night and figured things would be okay. I was
wrong! I was trying to get some sleep but something woke me about
10PM. I looked in on Mom and she was very agitated for some reason.
I called the hospice nurse; she brought over some Ativan and gave
Mom one .5MG tablet. Got her calmed down and she went to sleep. I
figured I could go back to sleep. Something woke me again around
12:30AM. I went to check on Mom again and she was on the floor! Oh
crap.

When you have a chance to actually think about it, (I can only
imagine how fried you are right now).

Wouldn't it be better to get rid of the regular bed in your mother's
room and replace it with a hospital bed? It doesn't sound like she
is going to be needing a regular bed. A decent hospital type bed
would make it so much easier for everyone to help her, I know that
being able to elevate her head or feet sometimes would make her more
comfortable. Rails that can be raised and lowered at will would be a
huge help.

If you do go the hospital bed route....this is what many places caring
for disabled elderly patients use,not only for sitting, eatng meals
in,
tv viewing, and most important - sliding patient easily in "full
recline"
mode from chair to bed (vital: chair *must* have wheels *locked* for
this feat!). Their cost IMHO would make renting one a better option.


All the equipment is covered by Medicare so I don't care about cost. It's
still too early to tell but I sincerely doubt she'll be using the wheelchair
they had delivered.

There isn't a cable jack in that room, hence, no television. I looked into
that months ago. The cable guy said he couldn't run it down through the
wall due to the pitch of the roof or some such thing. Why they didn't have
a jack put in there when they built the house I don't know; the other rooms
have one. Even when she was in the hospital she wasn't watching television,
though, and complained when they had her bed pitched with her sitting too
straight up. But thanks

Jill