5 Great Ways to Torture a Cat

Many a time have I wanted to beat the **** out of that furry little
******* that always seems to **** me off. Either by taking a nice warm
**** on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.

In this small file, I'd like to suggest ways to hurt or **** of the
little ****head that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks
it's the nicest ****er alive.

1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the ****er get's in your way,
whether it be when you're taking a **** and it comes in and watches, or
when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force
into it and BLAM! The ****er goes flying. It's especially nice to watch
a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and
crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like
under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in
the air.


2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really
get to it's tail, you can do **** with it and the cat it defenseless.
Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks,
it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk.
Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat
around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of
nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's
spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and
the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue
it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his
ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be
walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry
****s will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it
tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.


3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you
kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to
navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their
wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of
like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So
what do you do? You cut the ****ers wiskers, down to you start getting
fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh,
about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be ****ed and stunned that us
humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting
off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the
****....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might
eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could,
hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin


4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw
the little **** in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't
want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the
****er around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying
for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out,
it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster,
stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly
open the pillow case and let the ******* fall out (it WILL fall, believe
me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as
dizzy). The ****er will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles,
still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat
knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything,
it's up to you.


4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would
rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in
water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it
that the cat will fit in. Throw the ****er in for a minute or two
(unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them
later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and
yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available
(these ****ers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had
enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around
it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's
wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really
nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it
to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..


5 -- Misc. ****....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't
turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little
see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really
tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the
****er, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will
start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the
Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have
radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or
less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on
the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute,
it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if
not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of
course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can
nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know
someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty ****ing gross, and
being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it
starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the
point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make
sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started
to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from
it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures
and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half
minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was
twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3
minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any
mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and
doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool
part...Now that the ****er is dead (for good reason too) it's time to
watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started
popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the
blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds,
it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5
minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me
to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no
longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken
anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple
laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.

On 09/26/2013 12:01 AM, Loose Cannon wrote:
Many a time have I wanted to beat the **** out of that furry little
******* that always seems to **** me off. Either by taking a nice warm
**** on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.

In this small file, I'd like to suggest ways to hurt or **** of the
little ****head that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks
it's the nicest ****er alive.

1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the ****er get's in your way,
whether it be when you're taking a **** and it comes in and watches, or
when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force
into it and BLAM! The ****er goes flying. It's especially nice to watch
a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and
crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like
under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in
the air.


2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really
get to it's tail, you can do **** with it and the cat it defenseless.
Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks,
it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk.
Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat
around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of
nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's
spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and
the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue
it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his
ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be
walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry
****s will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it
tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.


3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you
kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to
navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their
wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of
like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So
what do you do? You cut the ****ers wiskers, down to you start getting
fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh,
about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be ****ed and stunned that us
humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting
off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the
****....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might
eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could,
hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin


4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw
the little **** in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't
want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the
****er around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying
for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out,
it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster,
stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly
open the pillow case and let the ******* fall out (it WILL fall, believe
me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as
dizzy). The ****er will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles,
still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat
knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything,
it's up to you.


4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would
rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in
water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it
that the cat will fit in. Throw the ****er in for a minute or two
(unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them
later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and
yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available
(these ****ers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had
enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around
it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's
wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really
nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it
to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..


5 -- Misc. ****....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't
turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little
see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really
tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the
****er, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will
start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the
Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have
radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or
less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on
the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute,
it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if
not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of
course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can
nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know
someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty ****ing gross, and
being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it
starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the
point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make
sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started
to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from
it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures
and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half
minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was
twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3
minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any
mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and
doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool
part...Now that the ****er is dead (for good reason too) it's time to
watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started
popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the
blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds,
it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5
minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me
to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no
longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken
anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple
laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.


the worst i did to a cat was kick it

On Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:01:49 -0700, Loose Cannon wrote:


In this small file, I'd like to suggest ways to hurt or **** of the little
****head that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks it's the
nicest ****er alive.


Meh. All this crap damages the "goods"... not to mention dangerous to
yourself ... ever had to give a cat a bath? Wanna see something funny?
Put a sock on a cat's head and sit back and laugh 'till you crap yerself.
Just about as funny as reading posts from idiots like you
Added advantage is they're grateful when you pull the sock off and
"Mommy" won't report you to the cops for being a dangerous psychopath.

Dhu



--
Ne obliviscaris, vix ea nostra voco.

On Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:01:49 -0700, Loose Cannon
wrote:

Many a time have I wanted to beat the **** out of that furry little
******* that always seems to **** me off. Either by taking a nice warm
**** on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.

In this small file, I'd like to suggest ways to hurt or **** of the
little ****head that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks
it's the nicest ****er alive.

1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the ****er get's in your way,
whether it be when you're taking a **** and it comes in and watches, or
when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force
into it and BLAM! The ****er goes flying. It's especially nice to watch
a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and
crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like
under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in
the air.


2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really
get to it's tail, you can do **** with it and the cat it defenseless.
Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks,
it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk.
Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat
around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of
nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's
spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and
the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue
it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his
ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be
walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry
****s will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it
tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.


3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you
kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to
navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their
wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of
like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So
what do you do? You cut the ****ers wiskers, down to you start getting
fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh,
about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be ****ed and stunned that us
humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting
off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the
****....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might
eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could,
hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin


4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw
the little **** in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't
want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the
****er around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying
for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out,
it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster,
stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly
open the pillow case and let the ******* fall out (it WILL fall, believe
me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as
dizzy). The ****er will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles,
still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat
knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything,
it's up to you.


4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would
rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in
water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it
that the cat will fit in. Throw the ****er in for a minute or two
(unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them
later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and
yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available
(these ****ers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had
enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around
it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's
wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really
nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it
to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..


5 -- Misc. ****....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't
turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little
see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really
tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the
****er, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will
start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the
Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have
radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or
less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on
the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute,
it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if
not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of
course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can
nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know
someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty ****ing gross, and
being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it
starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the
point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make
sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started
to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from
it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures
and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half
minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was
twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3
minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any
mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and
doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool
part...Now that the ****er is dead (for good reason too) it's time to
watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started
popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the
blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds,
it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5
minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me
to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no
longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken
anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple
laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.


You are a sadist in the mold of W.T.S. and Jeanne Douglas

J Young

In article ,
J wrote:

On Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:01:49 -0700, Loose Cannon
wrote:

Many a time have I wanted to beat the **** out of that furry little
******* that always seems to **** me off. Either by taking a nice warm
**** on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.

In this small file, I'd like to suggest ways to hurt or **** of the
little ****head that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks
it's the nicest ****er alive.

1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the ****er get's in your way,
whether it be when you're taking a **** and it comes in and watches, or
when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force
into it and BLAM! The ****er goes flying. It's especially nice to watch
a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and
crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like
under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in
the air.


2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really
get to it's tail, you can do **** with it and the cat it defenseless.
Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks,
it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk.
Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat
around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of
nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's
spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and
the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue
it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his
ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be
walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry
****s will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it
tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.


3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you
kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to
navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their
wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of
like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So
what do you do? You cut the ****ers wiskers, down to you start getting
fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh,
about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be ****ed and stunned that us
humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting
off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the
****....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might
eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could,
hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin


4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw
the little **** in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't
want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the
****er around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying
for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out,
it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster,
stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly
open the pillow case and let the ******* fall out (it WILL fall, believe
me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as
dizzy). The ****er will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles,
still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat
knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything,
it's up to you.


4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would
rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in
water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it
that the cat will fit in. Throw the ****er in for a minute or two
(unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them
later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and
yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available
(these ****ers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had
enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around
it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's
wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really
nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it
to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..


5 -- Misc. ****....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't
turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little
see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really
tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the
****er, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will
start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the
Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have
radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or
less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on
the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute,
it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if
not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of
course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can
nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know
someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty ****ing gross, and
being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it
starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the
point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make
sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started
to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from
it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures
and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half
minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was
twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3
minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any
mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and
doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool
part...Now that the ****er is dead (for good reason too) it's time to
watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started
popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the
blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds,
it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5
minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me
to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no
longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken
anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple
laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.


You are a sadist in the mold of W.T.S. and Jeanne Douglas


Looks like I pwn "J". Big-time.

--

JD

"Labor is prior to and independent of capital.
Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could
never have existed if labor had not first
existed. Labor is the superior of capital,
and deserves much the higher consideration."
--Abraham Lincoln

On Wed, 03 Dec 2014 01:54:20 -0800, Jeanne Douglas
wrote:

In article ,
J wrote:

On Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:01:49 -0700, Loose Cannon
wrote:

Many a time have I wanted to beat the **** out of that furry little
******* that always seems to **** me off. Either by taking a nice warm
**** on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.

In this small file, I'd like to suggest ways to hurt or **** of the
little ****head that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks
it's the nicest ****er alive.

1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the ****er get's in your way,
whether it be when you're taking a **** and it comes in and watches, or
when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force
into it and BLAM! The ****er goes flying. It's especially nice to watch
a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and
crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like
under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in
the air.


2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really
get to it's tail, you can do **** with it and the cat it defenseless.
Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks,
it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk.
Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat
around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of
nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's
spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and
the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue
it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his
ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be
walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry
****s will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it
tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.


3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you
kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to
navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their
wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of
like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So
what do you do? You cut the ****ers wiskers, down to you start getting
fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh,
about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be ****ed and stunned that us
humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting
off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the
****....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might
eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could,
hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin


4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw
the little **** in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't
want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the
****er around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying
for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out,
it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster,
stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly
open the pillow case and let the ******* fall out (it WILL fall, believe
me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as
dizzy). The ****er will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles,
still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat
knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything,
it's up to you.


4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would
rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in
water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it
that the cat will fit in. Throw the ****er in for a minute or two
(unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them
later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and
yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available
(these ****ers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had
enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around
it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's
wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really
nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it
to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..


5 -- Misc. ****....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't
turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little
see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really
tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the
****er, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will
start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the
Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have
radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or
less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on
the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute,
it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if
not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of
course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can
nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know
someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty ****ing gross, and
being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it
starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the
point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make
sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started
to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from
it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures
and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half
minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was
twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3
minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any
mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and
doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool
part...Now that the ****er is dead (for good reason too) it's time to
watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started
popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the
blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds,
it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5
minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me
to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no
longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken
anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple
laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.


You are a sadist in the mold of W.T.S. and Jeanne Douglas


Looks like I pwn "J". Big-time.

Do you really want to own something as slimy as that?

LV

--

"I rode a tank and held a general's rank
When the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank."

---Sympathy for the Devil-The Rolling Stones

--------------------------------------------

If you are an idiot, I am your worst nightmare. My
goal is to let the world see who you really are after
showing you to the world with your virtual pants pulled
down to expose your stupidity. If you are a racist,
fat-basher, bible thumper or a member of the teabircher
Teapotty, you would do well to avoid me at
all costs.

---------------------------------------------

On Wed, 03 Dec 2014 02:52:04 -0500, J wrote:

On Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:01:49 -0700, Loose Cannon
wrote:

Many a time have I wanted to beat the **** out of that furry little
******* that always seems to **** me off. Either by taking a nice warm
**** on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.

In this small file, I'd like to suggest ways to hurt or **** of the
little ****head that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks
it's the nicest ****er alive.

1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the ****er get's in your way,
whether it be when you're taking a **** and it comes in and watches, or
when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force
into it and BLAM! The ****er goes flying. It's especially nice to watch
a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and
crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like
under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in
the air.


2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really
get to it's tail, you can do **** with it and the cat it defenseless.
Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks,
it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk.
Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat
around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of
nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's
spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and
the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue
it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his
ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be
walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry
****s will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it
tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.


3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you
kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to
navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their
wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of
like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So
what do you do? You cut the ****ers wiskers, down to you start getting
fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh,
about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be ****ed and stunned that us
humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting
off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the
****....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might
eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could,
hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin


4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw
the little **** in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't
want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the
****er around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying
for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out,
it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster,
stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly
open the pillow case and let the ******* fall out (it WILL fall, believe
me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as
dizzy). The ****er will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles,
still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat
knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything,
it's up to you.


4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would
rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in
water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it
that the cat will fit in. Throw the ****er in for a minute or two
(unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them
later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and
yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available
(these ****ers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had
enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around
it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's
wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really
nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it
to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..


5 -- Misc. ****....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't
turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little
see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really
tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the
****er, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will
start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the
Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have
radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or
less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on
the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute,
it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if
not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of
course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can
nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know
someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty ****ing gross, and
being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it
starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the
point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make
sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started
to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from
it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures
and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half
minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was
twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3
minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any
mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and
doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool
part...Now that the ****er is dead (for good reason too) it's time to
watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started
popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the
blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds,
it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5
minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me
to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no
longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken
anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple
laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.


You are a sadist in the mold of W.T.S. and Jeanne Douglas

I would guess that J is secretly delighted by the ugliness he dug up
and decided to re-post, with the feeble excuse for disseminating it
that it's supposedly reminiscent of the personalities of some of his
perennial alt.atheism enemies.

Also, there seems to be a physics error in the block o' disgustingness
that J re-posted, namely the idea that microwave radiation will give
you "radiation poisoning."

Microwaves are the same thing as the visible light we see around us,
except they have longer wavelengths. They're perfectly safe, and
won't harm you unless you concentrate them in a single spot for a long
time, as is the case with a microwave oven.

More technically, microwave radiation is part of the electromagnetic
spectrum, which is basically electric and magnetic fields together
oscillating in a wave-like manner. But whenever you have a "wave" of
any sort, you have the "wave-length" of that wave, which is the
distance between two adjacent peaks or "crests" in the substance
that's waving.

The electromagnetic spectrum is classified according to the wavelength
of the electric/magnetic disturbance, as follows:

(Starting with the shortest wavelengths):

a) gamma rays
b) X-rays
c) UV rays
d) visible light
e) infra-red radiation
f) microwaves
g) radio waves

So all of these things are the exact same physical phenomenon, except
with different-sized waves involved. If you stretch out an X-ray wave
by a factor of 100,000 or so, it'll turn into visible light that you
can see around you.

It turns out that the shorter the wavelength, the more dangerous it
is, and in the medical profession, only the first three kinds of
electromagnetic radiation are powerful and dangerous enough to be
classified as something that would cause radiation poisoning.
Microwaves are too feeble to do the kind of damage to your body
necessary to allow it to be classified in that way.