My cat ownership experience - what a drama

This is the first time I "owned" a cat. She was an abandoned stray who kept
hanging out in my backyard for over a month before I started giving it water
and food. It stayed with me since then for 8 months. I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention, groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc. The I went away for 3 weeks,
paying a petsitter to feed and care for her. While I was away, she too decided
to go away. Petsitter said she always ate her food but was no where in sight.
No biggie because she's a very shy cat. When I came back, she was no where in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight to eat
her food and leave again.

yesterday, I found out where she went to. She went straight for the house
across the street. I also saw people around, kids, etc and she was right at
home there - not shy or timid. And the kids even shouted out loud - the cats
back, the cats back. I have a few questions.
1. For the past month since I returned, if she had been back in her own plce,
how come the original owners didn't call me (from her tag) to claim her. Why
did they just let the cat be fed or cared for by someone else.
2. The cats always at her own home now so why do they still let her wonder off
on her own coming to my place and eating like there's no tomorrow.
3. I can't take care and claim ownership of the cat when it obviously doesn't
want to stay with me anymore and has returned to her own home. Tonight when the
cat comes in to eat (at midnight) I will remove her collar and tag and stop
feeding her. that is the only way to discourage her from returning here.

I have spent a lot of money, time and emotions on the cat. I am not claiming
for anything from the previous owners. It is hard for me to stop feeding/caring
for the cat but I have to because it is rightfully not mine even though I have
it collared and tagged it as mine. I just hope that the owners will now
recognise that the cat is back with them like it or not and they have to start
being responsible owners.

It would be funny if they turned around and claim that I am now chucking my
responsibility on to them.

In view of all this, I am tired and honestly have turned off any pet care in
the near future.

"Kuisse0002" wrote in message
...
This is the first time I "owned" a cat. She was an abandoned stray who
kept
hanging out in my backyard for over a month before I started giving it
water
and food. It stayed with me since then for 8 months. I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention,
groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc. The I went away for 3
weeks,
paying a petsitter to feed and care for her. While I was away, she too
decided
to go away. Petsitter said she always ate her food but was no where in
sight.
No biggie because she's a very shy cat. When I came back, she was no where
in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight to
eat
her food and leave again.

yesterday, I found out where she went to. She went straight for the house
across the street. I also saw people around, kids, etc and she was right
at
home there - not shy or timid. And the kids even shouted out loud - the
cats
back, the cats back. I have a few questions.

I have spent a lot of money, time and emotions on the cat. I am not
claiming
for anything from the previous owners. It is hard for me to stop
feeding/caring
for the cat but I have to because it is rightfully not mine even though I
have
it collared and tagged it as mine. I just hope that the owners will now
recognise that the cat is back with them like it or not and they have to
start
being responsible owners.



Why don't you talk to the people across the street and make sure that it was
actually "their" cat first? See if they really want it and are feeding it
properly. It's possible that the kids are playing with it but that it's not
getting good food and medical treatment. Be diplomatic about it. You might
be able to work out something where you can "re-adopt" the cat, and this
time convert it into an indoor-only pet. It sounds like she would benefit
greatly from your care. She would be safer as an indoor cat, and you would
avoid this type of situation.

MaryL

"Kuisse0002" wrote in message
...
This is the first time I "owned" a cat. She was an abandoned stray who
kept
hanging out in my backyard for over a month before I started giving it
water
and food. It stayed with me since then for 8 months. I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention,
groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc. The I went away for 3
weeks,
paying a petsitter to feed and care for her. While I was away, she too
decided
to go away. Petsitter said she always ate her food but was no where in
sight.
No biggie because she's a very shy cat. When I came back, she was no where
in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight to
eat
her food and leave again.

yesterday, I found out where she went to. She went straight for the house
across the street. I also saw people around, kids, etc and she was right
at
home there - not shy or timid. And the kids even shouted out loud - the
cats
back, the cats back. I have a few questions.

I have spent a lot of money, time and emotions on the cat. I am not
claiming
for anything from the previous owners. It is hard for me to stop
feeding/caring
for the cat but I have to because it is rightfully not mine even though I
have
it collared and tagged it as mine. I just hope that the owners will now
recognise that the cat is back with them like it or not and they have to
start
being responsible owners.



Why don't you talk to the people across the street and make sure that it was
actually "their" cat first? See if they really want it and are feeding it
properly. It's possible that the kids are playing with it but that it's not
getting good food and medical treatment. Be diplomatic about it. You might
be able to work out something where you can "re-adopt" the cat, and this
time convert it into an indoor-only pet. It sounds like she would benefit
greatly from your care. She would be safer as an indoor cat, and you would
avoid this type of situation.

MaryL

(Kuisse0002) wrote in message ...
This is the first time I "owned" a cat. She was an abandoned stray who kept
hanging out in my backyard for over a month before I started giving it water
and food. It stayed with me since then for 8 months. I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention, groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc. The I went away for 3 weeks,
paying a petsitter to feed and care for her. While I was away, she too decided
to go away. Petsitter said she always ate her food but was no where in sight.
No biggie because she's a very shy cat. When I came back, she was no where in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight to eat
her food and leave again.

yesterday, I found out where she went to. She went straight for the house
across the street. I also saw people around, kids, etc and she was right at
home there - not shy or timid. And the kids even shouted out loud - the cats
back, the cats back.

Well, if I was a kid and had a cat and he was gone but returned, I
would shout his name, not "the cat". Sounds like this isn't their
cat.

I have a few questions.
1. For the past month since I returned, if she had been back in her own plce,
how come the original owners didn't call me (from her tag) to claim her. Why
did they just let the cat be fed or cared for by someone else.

You can't assume this is their cat. If it hung at your house, was
hungry and needed attention, it very well could have been an abandoned
cat. When you went away, it sought attention elsewhere - not unusual
for a cat to do. If she had originally been in a home with children,
she could be used to them.


2. The cats always at her own home now so why do they still let her wonder off
on her own coming to my place and eating like there's no tomorrow.

Again, they probably just think she is a stray or belongs to someone
else, like you do/did. If she does belong to them, she's not being
cared for properly and in my book, that's reason enough to claim her.

3. I can't take care and claim ownership of the cat when it obviously doesn't
want to stay with me anymore and has returned to her own home. Tonight when the
cat comes in to eat (at midnight) I will remove her collar and tag and stop
feeding her. that is the only way to discourage her from returning here.

Well, that's sad. Cats aren't loyal like dogs are. Cats are much
more fickle. In her eyes *you* abandoned her for three weeks - why
shouldn't she go across the street where there are many hands waiting
to pet her?


I have spent a lot of money, time and emotions on the cat. I am not claiming
for anything from the previous owners. It is hard for me to stop feeding/caring
for the cat but I have to because it is rightfully not mine even though I have
it collared and tagged it as mine.

Why stop? There is no reason for me to believe this cat belongs to
the neighbors. Did you ask them if they oficially claim this cat? I
will bet the answer of the parents will be "NO!".

I just hope that the owners will now
recognise that the cat is back with them like it or not and they have to start
being responsible owners.

Fat chance of that.


It would be funny if they turned around and claim that I am now chucking my
responsibility on to them.

In view of all this, I am tired and honestly have turned off any pet care in
the near future.

Well, don't let one fickle cat break your heart forever. You had a
good relationship with this kitty - why not keep it up? Seems to me
that you both benefitted from it!

-L.

(Kuisse0002) wrote in message ...
This is the first time I "owned" a cat. She was an abandoned stray who kept
hanging out in my backyard for over a month before I started giving it water
and food. It stayed with me since then for 8 months. I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention, groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc. The I went away for 3 weeks,
paying a petsitter to feed and care for her. While I was away, she too decided
to go away. Petsitter said she always ate her food but was no where in sight.
No biggie because she's a very shy cat. When I came back, she was no where in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight to eat
her food and leave again.

yesterday, I found out where she went to. She went straight for the house
across the street. I also saw people around, kids, etc and she was right at
home there - not shy or timid. And the kids even shouted out loud - the cats
back, the cats back.

Well, if I was a kid and had a cat and he was gone but returned, I
would shout his name, not "the cat". Sounds like this isn't their
cat.

I have a few questions.
1. For the past month since I returned, if she had been back in her own plce,
how come the original owners didn't call me (from her tag) to claim her. Why
did they just let the cat be fed or cared for by someone else.

You can't assume this is their cat. If it hung at your house, was
hungry and needed attention, it very well could have been an abandoned
cat. When you went away, it sought attention elsewhere - not unusual
for a cat to do. If she had originally been in a home with children,
she could be used to them.


2. The cats always at her own home now so why do they still let her wonder off
on her own coming to my place and eating like there's no tomorrow.

Again, they probably just think she is a stray or belongs to someone
else, like you do/did. If she does belong to them, she's not being
cared for properly and in my book, that's reason enough to claim her.

3. I can't take care and claim ownership of the cat when it obviously doesn't
want to stay with me anymore and has returned to her own home. Tonight when the
cat comes in to eat (at midnight) I will remove her collar and tag and stop
feeding her. that is the only way to discourage her from returning here.

Well, that's sad. Cats aren't loyal like dogs are. Cats are much
more fickle. In her eyes *you* abandoned her for three weeks - why
shouldn't she go across the street where there are many hands waiting
to pet her?


I have spent a lot of money, time and emotions on the cat. I am not claiming
for anything from the previous owners. It is hard for me to stop feeding/caring
for the cat but I have to because it is rightfully not mine even though I have
it collared and tagged it as mine.

Why stop? There is no reason for me to believe this cat belongs to
the neighbors. Did you ask them if they oficially claim this cat? I
will bet the answer of the parents will be "NO!".

I just hope that the owners will now
recognise that the cat is back with them like it or not and they have to start
being responsible owners.

Fat chance of that.


It would be funny if they turned around and claim that I am now chucking my
responsibility on to them.

In view of all this, I am tired and honestly have turned off any pet care in
the near future.

Well, don't let one fickle cat break your heart forever. You had a
good relationship with this kitty - why not keep it up? Seems to me
that you both benefitted from it!

-L.

"-L." wrote in message
m...
Why stop? There is no reason for me to believe this cat belongs to
the neighbors. Did you ask them if they oficially claim this cat? I
will bet the answer of the parents will be "NO!".

Agree to what L said. There is a tom cat about 3 years old that was left
behind by a family that moved out in the next block over from me. When I
first moved here, he would come to visit, often spending the whole day on my
front porch enjoying the feedings and the attention he got.

As it turns this guy is being quite regularly cared for by the couple across
the street. He spends several days at a time inside with them but does have
his preference for making the rounds of all his friends in the area. He
comes to greet me every Friday when I come in off the road. Usually while
still unloading my truck gear from the van, he can be heard approaching with
a steady stream of meows and yowls. He follows me up on the porch and waits
for me to divvy up the leftover deli roast beef that he knows I carry with
me just for 'him'. After eating he will hang out on the porch for quite a
while as he knows that I'll be back to spend some time with him after
stowing my gear.

There have been times I've spotted this cat on a porch the next street over
from where I live, apparently enjoying some of the same hospitality he finds
at my house. A few times he's even spotted me while at some distance
several blocks from home and come running to my van, bawling away like he
does when he comes from across the street. He will hop in the van without
hesitation and ride with me on whatever errands I'm out for curled up on the
seat behind me. When we arrive back home, he exits and heads across the
street for home.

I would never have presumed myself to be his 'owner' without observing a bit
of where he goes. That is how I happened to ask the folks across the street
about him and got the background info on how they happened to become his
owners.

"-L." wrote in message
m...
Why stop? There is no reason for me to believe this cat belongs to
the neighbors. Did you ask them if they oficially claim this cat? I
will bet the answer of the parents will be "NO!".

Agree to what L said. There is a tom cat about 3 years old that was left
behind by a family that moved out in the next block over from me. When I
first moved here, he would come to visit, often spending the whole day on my
front porch enjoying the feedings and the attention he got.

As it turns this guy is being quite regularly cared for by the couple across
the street. He spends several days at a time inside with them but does have
his preference for making the rounds of all his friends in the area. He
comes to greet me every Friday when I come in off the road. Usually while
still unloading my truck gear from the van, he can be heard approaching with
a steady stream of meows and yowls. He follows me up on the porch and waits
for me to divvy up the leftover deli roast beef that he knows I carry with
me just for 'him'. After eating he will hang out on the porch for quite a
while as he knows that I'll be back to spend some time with him after
stowing my gear.

There have been times I've spotted this cat on a porch the next street over
from where I live, apparently enjoying some of the same hospitality he finds
at my house. A few times he's even spotted me while at some distance
several blocks from home and come running to my van, bawling away like he
does when he comes from across the street. He will hop in the van without
hesitation and ride with me on whatever errands I'm out for curled up on the
seat behind me. When we arrive back home, he exits and heads across the
street for home.

I would never have presumed myself to be his 'owner' without observing a bit
of where he goes. That is how I happened to ask the folks across the street
about him and got the background info on how they happened to become his
owners.

This is the first time I "owned" a cat.

You never "owned" this cat in any sense of the word.

I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention, groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc.

Excellently, except for the fact that you let her out to face the elements,
whatever they are or were. Certainly, she was better cared for by you than
before, but not quite excellent.

When I came back, she was no where in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight

Your's wasn't her home.

I can't take care and claim ownership of the cat when it obviously doesn't
want to stay with me anymore and has returned to her own home.

You never claimed ownership. Had you claimed ownership, you would have kept
her in your house and locked the door.

I just hope that the owners will now
recognise that the cat is back with them like it or not and they have to
start
being responsible owners.


See above.

In view of all this, I am tired and honestly have turned off any pet care in
the near future.


Why, all you have to do the next time, is keep the cat in your locked home, and
you and the cat will live happily ever after for years to come. You'll never
have to worry about the cat going somewher and not coming back, for any reason.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh. If you search these boards you'll find many
discussions regarding indoors vs outdoors cats. I do not believe a beloved pet
should be allowed outdoors to face whatever elements await them; i.e, predatory
animals, cars, poisons, other loving families taking the "stray/lost" cat for
their own.

This is the first time I "owned" a cat.

You never "owned" this cat in any sense of the word.

I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention, groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc.

Excellently, except for the fact that you let her out to face the elements,
whatever they are or were. Certainly, she was better cared for by you than
before, but not quite excellent.

When I came back, she was no where in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight

Your's wasn't her home.

I can't take care and claim ownership of the cat when it obviously doesn't
want to stay with me anymore and has returned to her own home.

You never claimed ownership. Had you claimed ownership, you would have kept
her in your house and locked the door.

I just hope that the owners will now
recognise that the cat is back with them like it or not and they have to
start
being responsible owners.


See above.

In view of all this, I am tired and honestly have turned off any pet care in
the near future.


Why, all you have to do the next time, is keep the cat in your locked home, and
you and the cat will live happily ever after for years to come. You'll never
have to worry about the cat going somewher and not coming back, for any reason.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh. If you search these boards you'll find many
discussions regarding indoors vs outdoors cats. I do not believe a beloved pet
should be allowed outdoors to face whatever elements await them; i.e, predatory
animals, cars, poisons, other loving families taking the "stray/lost" cat for
their own.

(GovtLawyer) wrote in message ...
This is the first time I "owned" a cat.

You never "owned" this cat in any sense of the word.

It was owned in the sense that there was (and still is) some form of
relationhip between cat and human.


I looked after her
excellently - giving her good food, good bedding, medical attention, groomed
her, flea treatment, collar, tags, bells, etc.

Excellently, except for the fact that you let her out to face the elements,
whatever they are or were. Certainly, she was better cared for by you than
before, but not quite excellent.

And what, exactly, are the 'elements' in the OP's case? Please cite
the traffic density, probability of cat dying from bad 'elements' in
the environment, with reference to poisoning, capture by evil
marauding vikings and so on.


When I came back, she was no where in
sight - I was devastated! - she finally came home but only at midnight

Your's wasn't her home.

Or at least not her only home.



I can't take care and claim ownership of the cat when it obviously doesn't
want to stay with me anymore and has returned to her own home.

You never claimed ownership. Had you claimed ownership, you would have kept
her in your house and locked the door.

Ownership or guardianship are not synonymous with imprisonment. In
many areas it is safe to let a cat out, and if a certain degree of
safety can be ensured, then letting the cat interact with the world is
absolutely desirable.


(...)

In view of all this, I am tired and honestly have turned off any pet care in
the near future.


Why, all you have to do the next time, is keep the cat in your locked home,

Nope. Not necessarily.

You need to assess the situation, and one possible approach is to
imprison the cat in your home. This is not the only solution though.
It is certainly not a universal solution. It may work in the OP's case
if she cannot face the cat being fed by others and suchlike.

and
you and the cat will live happily ever after for years to come. You'll never
have to worry about the cat going somewher and not coming back, for any
reason.


I'm sorry if I sound harsh. If you search these boards you'll find many
discussions regarding indoors vs outdoors cats.

And you'll find people on both sides of the divide. The 'indoors'
proponents seem to mostly be based in the USA.


I do not believe a beloved pet
should be allowed outdoors to face whatever elements await them; i.e,
predatory animals, cars, poisons, other loving families taking
the "stray/lost" cat for their own.

In many places these elements are relatively unlikely to be
encountered. Keeping a cat in should be weighed against loss of its
natural behaviours - that is, depriving it of its interactions with
the environment and so forth.

The kneejerk, unthinking reaction of keeping a cat indoors regardless
is simple idiocy. However, to consider the specifics of the situation
the cat is in, and then to decide to keep the cat indoors based on
this, is a sensible - and caring - course.

Steve.