Purrs for a friend (OT)

Dave got an email Thursday from a friend of ours (more his than mine
but she was wonderfully supportive when he was in hospital) who has
been fighting cancer for 2-3 years now. She has just been told there
is nothing more they can do and she hasn't got much longer through
they don't know how much longer (They did say they could try chemo but
it had a 1 in 10 chance of giving her a couple of months at best and
the last time she had chemo she had bad side effects although that was
worth it as she got 18 or so good months but she doesn't want to
suffer again for a 1 in 10 chance of such a short time)
Purrs would be appreciated

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

"Lesley" wrote in message
...
Dave got an email Thursday from a friend of ours (more his than mine
but she was wonderfully supportive when he was in hospital) who has
been fighting cancer for 2-3 years now. She has just been told there
is nothing more they can do and she hasn't got much longer through
they don't know how much longer (They did say they could try chemo but
it had a 1 in 10 chance of giving her a couple of months at best and
the last time she had chemo she had bad side effects although that was
worth it as she got 18 or so good months but she doesn't want to
suffer again for a 1 in 10 chance of such a short time)
Purrs would be appreciated

Purrs coming up.
Does she have a counsellor? Mine, Simon, when I was told I would die from
my ca, came to see me and said "is it time I told you how to have a good
death?"
As it happens, he did not need to, but I would have liked that if I'd had to
face it.
Tweed

"Lesley" wrote in message
...
Dave got an email Thursday from a friend of ours... ...who has
been fighting cancer for 2-3 years now... ... they could try
chemo but
it had a 1 in 10 chance of giving her a couple of months at
best ...
...she doesn't want to suffer again for a 1 in 10 chance ...
Purrs would be appreciated.


Purrs on their way. Someone I knew suffered the same fate
recently. The doctors had advised she might live for six years,
or six days - she took the same decision, having had one round of
chemotherapy. She survived about six weeks :-(

Once people become aware of their own mortality, they usually
have a calm, relaxed approach. It's the people around them that
get stressed out. It's the one thing that anyone can't change
about their life - and that's the fact that one day, it will end
(in its present form - some believe in alternative existences).

--
MatSav

On Feb 13, 8:18*am, "Christina Websell"
wrote:

Does she have a counsellor? *

I don't think so- . She was only told a few days ago and she's taking
it for the moment one day at a time. She did say she's got the details
of various services provided by the hospital and can call on them when
she needs them so I assume that includes a counselling service


Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

On Feb 13, 8:23*am, "MatSav" matthew | dot | savage | at | dsl | dot
| pipex | dot | com wrote:


Once people become aware of their own mortality, they usually
have a calm, relaxed approach.

She says she feels fine and in a way she's almost relieved if that
makes sense. She wants to spend her last whatever time she has left
not having cancer take over her life as it has been doing with the
endless rounds of treatments and hospital appointments. It's her
sister who seems to be unable to cope with the idea at the moment

I suppose it's like my friend Mick who was having investigations and
on the day he was told he had cancer says he went to bed that night
and had the best nights sleep he'd had for weeks, which he put down to
the fact he finally knew as opposed to all those nights worrying about
what it could be

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

"Lesley" wrote in message
...
Dave got an email Thursday from a friend of ours (more his than mine
but she was wonderfully supportive when he was in hospital) who has
been fighting cancer for 2-3 years now. She has just been told there
is nothing more they can do and she hasn't got much longer through
they don't know how much longer (They did say they could try chemo but
it had a 1 in 10 chance of giving her a couple of months at best and
the last time she had chemo she had bad side effects although that was
worth it as she got 18 or so good months but she doesn't want to
suffer again for a 1 in 10 chance of such a short time)
Purrs would be appreciated

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

How sad!!! Ben and I will add our thoughts, prayers, and well wishes with
the purrs the clowder is sending for her.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Lesley" wrote in message
...
On Feb 13, 8:18 am, "Christina Websell"
wrote:

Does she have a counsellor?

I don't think so- . She was only told a few days ago and she's taking
it for the moment one day at a time. She did say she's got the details
of various services provided by the hospital and can call on them when
she needs them so I assume that includes a counselling service.
----------
I hope the counselling service the hospital offers will be better that I
had.
It seemed to be a secret, the cancer stuff.
She was a really nice person, but when she offered her gynae cancer
counselling card to me and said "we never know what's going on with you
ladies, but here's my card." I just wailed and said "bring me Simon, bring
me Simon" and sacked her on the spot..
And to her credit, she did bring me Simon (who wept when he saw me, but
tried to hide it)
He's been wonderful, seen me through all sorts of dreadful things for years,
but the ca thing was almost as hard for him as it was for me.

He remains a friend and visits me occasionally. We sometimes talk about
that time when he insisted I went to hospital and it turned out bad. He
says in his head he knew I had to, as I kept insisting it was nothing much,
but when it was, it nearly broke his heart. Even though he was not supposed
to get emotionally close.
We talk about our chickens now, he's recently got some, but if something is
upsetting me we can switch into counselling mode.
T

On Feb 13, 9:28*am, "Christina Websell"
wrote:
...
And to her credit, she did bring me Simon (who wept when he saw me, but
tried to hide it)
He's been wonderful, seen me through all sorts of dreadful things for years,
but the ca thing was almost as hard for him as it was for me.


He sounds great but I am not sure I trust counselling as I say my
only experience put me off...that was when I was at 16 in college and
the college counsellor told me what I needed to do was lose my
virginity but not as he put it "To some oik in the bike shed" but
rather to "A sophisticated mature older man" and guess which one he
though he was?... when I said I'd complain, he was like "Go
ahead...crazy mixed up teenager accusing respectable happily married
middle aged man I'll say you wanted sex with me and I refused so
you're making this up out of spite" He got caught when he tried it
with a girl whose parents had clout and believed her.....I wanted to
tell my mum but she was against me going to college 'cos as far as she
was concerned I had "stolen" a place from some guy who needed to get
qualifications to get a good job and support a wife and kids....If I
had told her she would have taken that as ammunition to persuade me
out of college and get a job in "Woolworths" until the knight in
shining armour came along....If I'd listened to her I'd have been
married at 18 if not sooner (Remind me sometime to tell you about the
guy she would have given permission for me to wed at 16! She reckoned
it was MY fault he got arrested for stealing knickers off washing
lines, being a tranvestite and a male prostitute!) with 2 kids before
20 If I had done that I'd have celebrated my 21st birthday by putting
my head in a gas oven or something!

If I;d met someone like Simon I daresay my view would be a lot less
jaundiced

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Lesley wrote:
Dave got an email Thursday from a friend of ours (more his than mine
but she was wonderfully supportive when he was in hospital) who has
been fighting cancer for 2-3 years now. She has just been told there
is nothing more they can do and she hasn't got much longer through
they don't know how much longer (They did say they could try chemo but
it had a 1 in 10 chance of giving her a couple of months at best and
the last time she had chemo she had bad side effects although that was
worth it as she got 18 or so good months but she doesn't want to
suffer again for a 1 in 10 chance of such a short time)
Purrs would be appreciated

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Purrs on the way.

--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy, Bagheera & Shadow)
Cats leave pawprints on your heart
http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk

Lesley wrote:

He sounds great but I am not sure I trust counselling as I say my
only experience put me off...that was when I was at 16 in college and
the college counsellor told me what I needed to do was lose my
virginity but not as he put it "To some oik in the bike shed" but
rather to "A sophisticated mature older man" and guess which one he
though he was?
snip

Obviously more of a predator than a counsellor! I bet a lot of girls
are/were told they needed sex by male so-called experts - I was told the
same thing by a doctor when I was a teenager, although I didn't think he
was volunteering to provide it. I found out afterwards that he was noted
for suggesting that as a solution to the problems of a lot of female
students!

I think with counsellors the important things are (1) how good they are
at their job (which of course applies to people in all occupations) and
(2) how well you connect personally. I don't mean that you have to be
all buddy-buddy or anything, just that a person might just not click
well with one counsellor, but accept the same advice and be able to
confide more in another.

And, of course, retain your own common-sense about the ones who advise
sex therapy!

--
Cheryl