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Selective Cat



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 17th 04, 05:58 PM
The Mrs
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Posts: n/a
Default Selective Cat

I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She
enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not
fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her
brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for
the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The
female however, well, an example...
My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't
want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he
didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite
him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her
when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will
even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her
path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and
tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not
him. It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do. Can anyone explain why this is
happening and perhaps suggest a solution? Sunday was the 3rd time she
really went after him and he is ready to get rid of her and I have to
agree - unless we can find a solution. The girls and I want to keep
her but I don't see how we can if we can't trust her. It is really
causing a rif in our home!
Sad & Depressed Mrs in OH
  #2  
Old February 17th 04, 08:51 PM
GovtLawyer
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Posts: n/a
Default

It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do.


I'm curious. What are you punishing them for, and how do you punish them? You
do realize that cats do not learn from punishment.

As far as their relationship with your husband, my cats love me, but my female
won't let me pick her up. Sometimes when she is sleeping I can get a bit more
aggressive with her, but when she realizes it, she struggles. In short, I just
let her be and not try to impose my will on her. She shows affection in her
own way.
  #3  
Old February 17th 04, 08:51 PM
GovtLawyer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do.


I'm curious. What are you punishing them for, and how do you punish them? You
do realize that cats do not learn from punishment.

As far as their relationship with your husband, my cats love me, but my female
won't let me pick her up. Sometimes when she is sleeping I can get a bit more
aggressive with her, but when she realizes it, she struggles. In short, I just
let her be and not try to impose my will on her. She shows affection in her
own way.
  #6  
Old February 18th 04, 05:06 AM
al
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"The Mrs" wrote in message
om...
| I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me.
She
| enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she
is not
| fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and
her
| brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is
fine for
| the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is
held. The
| female however, well, an example...
| My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she
didn't
| want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When
he
| didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying
to bite
| him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet
her
| when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She
will
| even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be
in her
| path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats
and
| tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the
disciplinarian -not

Why would your husband pick up a cat that does not particularly
want to be picked up by him?

He needs to tune into the cat. A cat is not a teddy bear.

I am reading up on clicker training for cats. He might want to
start educating himself on cats. If you can teach a cat a trick,
chances are you are learning how to understand another creature.

He can use treats as a way to help things out.

Males appear to want to pick up cats that don't want to be
picked up. The cats then are really fearful of the males.
The cat is only a 10 pound animal and this 175 pound animal
keep manhandling the cat. From the cat's point of view,
your husband is way out of line.

It is not obvious to your husband, or perhaps to any of you,
why a cat will suddenly turn and be aggressive but something
has spooked the cat. Be it a smell or a memory, they just
will do that. The cat will see something and freak out
and you can't determine that.

My own cat once for no reason, or so it seemed, reared up
and smacked me on the nose when I was holding her and
bringing her home.

It took me months to figure it all out. What had happened was
she had caught sight or smell of an invading cat and just
wanted to be safe back inside. It never happened again
but it taught me that they have instinctive responses that
cannot be over-ridden and they simply cannot be treated
as inanimate rag-dolls.

In other words, leave the cat alone or try to tune into the
cat with tricks and treats but don't pick up a cat that
is giving signs of fear and avoidance.

































  #7  
Old February 18th 04, 05:06 AM
al
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"The Mrs" wrote in message
om...
| I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me.
She
| enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she
is not
| fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and
her
| brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is
fine for
| the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is
held. The
| female however, well, an example...
| My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she
didn't
| want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When
he
| didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying
to bite
| him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet
her
| when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She
will
| even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be
in her
| path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats
and
| tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the
disciplinarian -not

Why would your husband pick up a cat that does not particularly
want to be picked up by him?

He needs to tune into the cat. A cat is not a teddy bear.

I am reading up on clicker training for cats. He might want to
start educating himself on cats. If you can teach a cat a trick,
chances are you are learning how to understand another creature.

He can use treats as a way to help things out.

Males appear to want to pick up cats that don't want to be
picked up. The cats then are really fearful of the males.
The cat is only a 10 pound animal and this 175 pound animal
keep manhandling the cat. From the cat's point of view,
your husband is way out of line.

It is not obvious to your husband, or perhaps to any of you,
why a cat will suddenly turn and be aggressive but something
has spooked the cat. Be it a smell or a memory, they just
will do that. The cat will see something and freak out
and you can't determine that.

My own cat once for no reason, or so it seemed, reared up
and smacked me on the nose when I was holding her and
bringing her home.

It took me months to figure it all out. What had happened was
she had caught sight or smell of an invading cat and just
wanted to be safe back inside. It never happened again
but it taught me that they have instinctive responses that
cannot be over-ridden and they simply cannot be treated
as inanimate rag-dolls.

In other words, leave the cat alone or try to tune into the
cat with tricks and treats but don't pick up a cat that
is giving signs of fear and avoidance.

































  #8  
Old February 18th 04, 05:30 AM
Cat Protector
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It sounds to me that your husband and yourself need to exercise a little
patience here. Don't force yourselves on the cats and allow them to come to
you. You might also have your husband share in the duties of caring and
feeding the cats. You never said whether or not your husband likes cats. If
he doesn't then they can tell that and will resist. I would also look into
medical reasons as to why your cat might be acting this way. Some cats when
they have serious medical issues will lash out at humans.

--
Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs!
www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek

Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time!
www.catgalaxymedia.com

"The Mrs" wrote in message
om...
I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She
enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not
fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her
brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for
the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The
female however, well, an example...
My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't
want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he
didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite
him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her
when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will
even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her
path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and
tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not
him. It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do. Can anyone explain why this is
happening and perhaps suggest a solution? Sunday was the 3rd time she
really went after him and he is ready to get rid of her and I have to
agree - unless we can find a solution. The girls and I want to keep
her but I don't see how we can if we can't trust her. It is really
causing a rif in our home!
Sad & Depressed Mrs in OH



  #9  
Old February 18th 04, 05:30 AM
Cat Protector
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It sounds to me that your husband and yourself need to exercise a little
patience here. Don't force yourselves on the cats and allow them to come to
you. You might also have your husband share in the duties of caring and
feeding the cats. You never said whether or not your husband likes cats. If
he doesn't then they can tell that and will resist. I would also look into
medical reasons as to why your cat might be acting this way. Some cats when
they have serious medical issues will lash out at humans.

--
Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs!
www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek

Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time!
www.catgalaxymedia.com

"The Mrs" wrote in message
om...
I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She
enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not
fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her
brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for
the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The
female however, well, an example...
My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't
want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he
didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite
him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her
when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will
even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her
path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and
tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not
him. It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do. Can anyone explain why this is
happening and perhaps suggest a solution? Sunday was the 3rd time she
really went after him and he is ready to get rid of her and I have to
agree - unless we can find a solution. The girls and I want to keep
her but I don't see how we can if we can't trust her. It is really
causing a rif in our home!
Sad & Depressed Mrs in OH



  #10  
Old February 18th 04, 05:32 AM
Cat Protector
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I agree. Cats do not react well to punishment especially when they are
acting the way they should.

--
Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs!
www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek

Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time!
www.catgalaxymedia.com
"GovtLawyer" wrote in message
...
It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do.


I'm curious. What are you punishing them for, and how do you punish them?

You
do realize that cats do not learn from punishment.

As far as their relationship with your husband, my cats love me, but my

female
won't let me pick her up. Sometimes when she is sleeping I can get a bit

more
aggressive with her, but when she realizes it, she struggles. In short, I

just
let her be and not try to impose my will on her. She shows affection in

her
own way.



 




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