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#1
September 29th 04, 04:52 PM
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Smokey gives a speech
*Smokey gives a speech*
"Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade 
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#2
September 29th 04, 05:00 PM
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"Enfilade" wrote in message
om... *Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade ROTFLMAO! Hugs, CatNipped
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#3
September 29th 04, 05:00 PM
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"Enfilade" wrote in message
om... *Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade ROTFLMAO! Hugs, CatNipped
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#4
September 29th 04, 05:08 PM
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ROFL!!! This is a keeper!
"Enfilade" wrote in message om... *Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade
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#5
September 29th 04, 05:08 PM
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ROFL!!! This is a keeper!
"Enfilade" wrote in message om... *Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade
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#7
September 29th 04, 10:23 PM
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ROTFLMAO
LB agrees with Smokey about the great OUT, though she has learned that it's not too bad as long as the hoomin is home so she can come IN when she wants. Course she wasn't stuck in the OUT for very long. She had a family who abandoned her to the OUT when she became pregnant, and she conned her way IN here when about 10 months old. On 29 Sep 2004 08:52:34 -0700, (Enfilade) wrote: *Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade -- Steve Touchstone, faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit and Rocky [remove Junk for email] Home Page: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html
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#8
September 30th 04, 08:30 PM
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Absolutely ROFLMAO! Great story, Enfilade!
Christine "Enfilade" wrote in message om... *Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade
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#9
September 30th 04, 08:30 PM
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Absolutely ROFLMAO! Great story, Enfilade!
Christine "Enfilade" wrote in message om... *Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. I don't like fast food because sometimes it's too fast. Then it gets away and you go hungry. I like slow food like pizza and sandwiches. Nice people used to feed me those. My favourite restaurant is the dumpster. When I was fer...fera...wild, sometimes I caught food. I liked wings. Especially seagull wings cause those were big. And bunnies. I liked baby bunnies cause big jackrabbits would kick me in the head. Nocturne says it shows. Whatever that means. Nocturne says I'm a cretin. I think that's what you call the crunchy things in caesar salad. I like the bacon better than the cretins. The scariest thing ever is outside. It's cold and wet and there's coyotes and hardly ever any food. The second scariest thing ever is the bottom of my food bowl. When I see it, I start thinking about when there was no food. Like in winter when all the bunnies were hiber...hiverna....sleepin'. Yeah. And it's really scary. Then I cry, and then mom and dad tell me to shut up and fill my food bowl. They say I'm a poor excuse for a wild aminal. I'm glad I'm bad at being a wild kitty cause I like being a house kitty loads better. All this talking made me hungry so I'm gonna go eat cat food and then lick the kittens. I can't lick Nocturne cause she's a....well, never mind, that word's kinda rude even if it is true. Thanks." *Smokey goes* *Nocturne gives a speech* "Today I'm going to discuss "Smokey and why he should be sent to the Siberian gulag"...what? He's not my brother, he's adopted...oh, fine. Today's speech is now entitled "Why all humans should be institutionalized...." Feh. It's not hate speech if it's true..." *Nocturne's parents pick her up and carry her off before someone calls the UN...again.* --Enfilade
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#10
September 30th 04, 10:54 PM
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On 29 Sep, Enfilade wrote:
*Smokey gives a speech* "Hi, I'm Fil's cat Smokey, an' I'm here to talk about my favourite thing ever...not the couch, that's my other favourite thing ever...I'm here to talk about food. My favourite thing to eat is food, and my favorite kind of food is, hehheh....lots. ---------------------snip---------------------- What a great piece! Thanks for the chuckles. Regards and Purrs, O J
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