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The heat of summer



 
 
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Old June 16th 06, 01:01 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.rescue
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Default The heat of summer

I hate the heat and the humidity of the Midwest summer. I hate getting
up at O-dark-30 and heading a long way to do what has to be done, armed
with a Ruger Mini-30 and two garage sale Coleman jugs, one with water
and one to **** in.

The four wheel drive is bumpy and loud, and its old carbureted pushrod
engine sucks gas like a Linda Lovelace of Tokheim pumps. But I stop to
get some spoiled meat, fill my thermos, and head out.

The spoiled meat is laid out on the grass, covered by a half bag of
Dr. Pepper syrup the gas station guy gives me. He loves songbirds too.
When the sun gets high, the meat starts to too, and the kitties start
prowling.

Occasionally a mangy old dog comes along. We let him eat. but if he
seems too greedy a shot in the ass from a BB gun sends him onward. It's
nearly three hours before the ferals are onsite, and we wait patiently.
The music of Brahms plays from the truck stereo quietly, seemingly
having no effect on the cats either way.

When the numbers are high enough, Phase Two begins. Quietly, I pull
back on the operating rod of the Mini-30, its Garand-derived action not
the quietest, but serviceable. A quick check for windage, the distance
being figured ahead of time, and the forward mounted low power pistol
scope well dialed in. I shoulder the Ruger and let out a loud
HOO-YAH!!!! as I squeeze off the first round. The target, a gray tom,
starts to bolt, but it's too late.

It's over in less than two minutes. I get the pitchfork and start
cleanup. The hole is already dug, seven to nine foot deep and the
length and width of the traditional Boy Scout latrine. The day's
slay-roughly forty cats, plus the bait meat and the lumps of cat ****-
go in the hole. I scatter a little gravel and as I do so realize an
encore is now in order from the coffee. I look around, unzip myself and
pull out my medium-size member and urinate in the hole. On other
occasions, I will take a good healthy **** there too, but today feel no
urge. I fill in the hole carefully, having sharpened and waxed my
shovel the day before, and I am huffing and puffing a little to be
sure. I then tamp the dirt down, and plant a small tree seedling in the
middle, and cover the sides to the left and right with grass and clover
seed mix. The tree, hopefully, will thrive, and as its roots go down
will draw nourishment from the catpile below. It may become a great
tree and be felled, after I am dead, and be made into fine furniture or
gun stocks or acoustic guitar backs and sides or antique airplane
instrument panels or whatever people eighty years do with fine
hardwoods. The spirit of the cats may live on this way, and the birds
too, who will nest in its branches.

Yes, praise the Creator of birds and cats and man, life is good. I
empty the water canteen on the seeded dirt and tree, spray the Ruger's
bore down with off brand WD40-alike, and pack it in its case, which is
a converted Fender bass case. It's a little past noon and I'm going to
pay for this in sunburn, but that's how it goes. I drive the trip home
quietly, a CD of Woody Herman playing. I have done my good deed for
today, I am sure, even if I never was a Boy Scout.

 




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