Can't stand to see her like this anymore. We're praying for a miracle

I posted here about my cat several months ago, back when she was
first diagnosed. In short, she has some sort of auto immune disease
or maythat started to come on in February. When it started we thought
it was a cold. It began with voice loss, lethargy, and a severe
thirst. She was severely anemic and killing her blood cells. She was
put on steroids but they completely surpress her immune system, making
her extremely vulnerable to infections. She got a couple of urinary
track infections where we had her peeing and dribbling blood on the
floor. She's infected eyes for awhile now. The vet gave us some eye
drops to see if it cleared it up, but it's not doing anything. We
think that one of her eyes has now been destroyed, and if a miracle
ever does happen, it will have to be removed. You wouldn't believe how
she looks. Her right eye is disgusting. It's just a solid brown mass
of goo that constantly drips down her face. She's somewhat emaciated
and she has dried medicine and food stuck on her face (it's impossible
to keep her clean) and on parts of her body. Basically, she looks like
a corpse that someone pulled out of a dumpster. At one point I
actually looked at her and burst into tears. However, her appetite is
great (but she's still emaciated, which makes me think cancer...) and
despite not being able to see worth a darn, she's getting around quite
well. She hasn't begun staggering again, so that's good. We took her
off the steroids a while ago because it's so terrible on the body and
causes infection after infection. We THOUGHT she was recovering but
the other morning I put her in her box (she sometimes has to be
carried because she can't see well) and she passed out and litter was
plastered all over the side of her face, mixed with the goo from her
eye. I was horrified that she had begun fainting again, a sign that
her blood count is plummeting again. I was home alone for awhile later
that day and she kept passing out. At one point she was lieing on the
kitchen rub, making sounds like she was actually struggling to
breathe. I lost it and called my mom on her cell and started crying,
saying she was dieing on me. I layed out a blanket for her and put on
her favorite music (that cat has a thing for Josh Groban, Il Divo, and
the like). Since then (the other day) she's stopped fainting and her
breathing (thank God) seems perfectly normal. But at this point the
vet says it's the end of the road, her chance of making a recovery are
slim to none. The last thing we want is to see her suffer (and trust
me, it's heart-breaking to see how disgusting she looks right now),
but since her appetite is good and she's stopped fainting, we're just
waiting right now. We know the time has probably come to euthanize
her, but it's just too damn hard. These next couple of days, we're
just praying for a miracle, biding time. She's been a beloved member
of the family since I was 9 years old (I'm now 20). If there was
something that could be done at this point, money would be no object,
but it looks like it's the end of the road. The vet doesn't see any
hope. It's just been so cruel. One minute you think she's getting
better, and then she crashes again.

On Aug 19, 1:02 am, wrote:
I posted here about my cat several months ago, back when she was
first diagnosed. In short, she has some sort of auto immune disease
or maythat started to come on in February. When it started we thought
it was a cold. It began with voice loss, lethargy, and a severe
thirst. She was severely anemic and killing her blood cells. She was
put on steroids but they completely surpress her immune system, making
her extremely vulnerable to infections. She got a couple of urinary
track infections where we had her peeing and dribbling blood on the
floor. She's infected eyes for awhile now. The vet gave us some eye
drops to see if it cleared it up, but it's not doing anything. We
think that one of her eyes has now been destroyed, and if a miracle
ever does happen, it will have to be removed. You wouldn't believe how
she looks. Her right eye is disgusting. It's just a solid brown mass
of goo that constantly drips down her face. She's somewhat emaciated
and she has dried medicine and food stuck on her face (it's impossible
to keep her clean) and on parts of her body. Basically, she looks like
a corpse that someone pulled out of a dumpster. At one point I
actually looked at her and burst into tears. However, her appetite is
great (but she's still emaciated, which makes me think cancer...) and
despite not being able to see worth a darn, she's getting around quite
well. She hasn't begun staggering again, so that's good. We took her
off the steroids a while ago because it's so terrible on the body and
causes infection after infection. We THOUGHT she was recovering but
the other morning I put her in her box (she sometimes has to be
carried because she can't see well) and she passed out and litter was
plastered all over the side of her face, mixed with the goo from her
eye. I was horrified that she had begun fainting again, a sign that
her blood count is plummeting again. I was home alone for awhile later
that day and she kept passing out. At one point she was lieing on the
kitchen rub, making sounds like she was actually struggling to
breathe. I lost it and called my mom on her cell and started crying,
saying she was dieing on me. I layed out a blanket for her and put on
her favorite music (that cat has a thing for Josh Groban, Il Divo, and
the like). Since then (the other day) she's stopped fainting and her
breathing (thank God) seems perfectly normal. But at this point the
vet says it's the end of the road, her chance of making a recovery are
slim to none. The last thing we want is to see her suffer (and trust
me, it's heart-breaking to see how disgusting she looks right now),
but since her appetite is good and she's stopped fainting, we're just
waiting right now. We know the time has probably come to euthanize
her, but it's just too damn hard. These next couple of days, we're
just praying for a miracle, biding time. She's been a beloved member
of the family since I was 9 years old (I'm now 20). If there was
something that could be done at this point, money would be no object,
but it looks like it's the end of the road. The vet doesn't see any
hope. It's just been so cruel. One minute you think she's getting
better, and then she crashes again.

Correction on sceond line: *Some sort of auto immune disease and
maybe cancer

IMO it is time to let go. The furball is not living a good life. You
can't be selfish here It is the hardest decision you are going to make but
you have to make it. You are doing it our of love it is time to let go.
It is a decision that all of never want to make but have to make it for we
love them enough to do it for their well being.
Many vets will come to your house and take care of it.
I am sorry you are having to go thru this.

On Aug 18, 10:12 pm, "Matthew" wrote:


IMO it is time to let go. The furball is not living a good life. You
can't be selfish here It is the hardest decision you are going to make but
you have to make it. You are doing it our of love it is time to let go.
It is a decision that all of never want to make but have to make it for we
love them enough to do it for their well being.
Many vets will come to your house and take care of it.
I am sorry you are having to go thru this.

I'm very sorry; it's tragic. I agree with Matthew, though. This poor
kitty has gone through enough and deserves a peaceful end. I know
it's very difficult but sometimes it's the best gift you can give your
beloved friend.

Candace

wrote:
I posted here about my cat several months ago, back when she was
first diagnosed. In short, she has some sort of auto immune disease
or maythat started to come on in February. When it started we thought
it was a cold. It began with voice loss, lethargy, and a severe
thirst. She was severely anemic and killing her blood cells. She was
put on steroids but they completely surpress her immune system, making
her extremely vulnerable to infections. She got a couple of urinary
track infections where we had her peeing and dribbling blood on the
floor. She's infected eyes for awhile now. The vet gave us some eye
drops to see if it cleared it up, but it's not doing anything. We
think that one of her eyes has now been destroyed, and if a miracle
ever does happen, it will have to be removed. You wouldn't believe how
she looks. Her right eye is disgusting. It's just a solid brown mass
of goo that constantly drips down her face. She's somewhat emaciated
and she has dried medicine and food stuck on her face (it's impossible
to keep her clean) and on parts of her body. Basically, she looks like
a corpse that someone pulled out of a dumpster. At one point I
actually looked at her and burst into tears. However, her appetite is
great (but she's still emaciated, which makes me think cancer...) and
despite not being able to see worth a darn, she's getting around quite
well. She hasn't begun staggering again, so that's good. We took her
off the steroids a while ago because it's so terrible on the body and
causes infection after infection. We THOUGHT she was recovering but
the other morning I put her in her box (she sometimes has to be
carried because she can't see well) and she passed out and litter was
plastered all over the side of her face, mixed with the goo from her
eye. I was horrified that she had begun fainting again, a sign that
her blood count is plummeting again. I was home alone for awhile later
that day and she kept passing out. At one point she was lieing on the
kitchen rub, making sounds like she was actually struggling to
breathe. I lost it and called my mom on her cell and started crying,
saying she was dieing on me. I layed out a blanket for her and put on
her favorite music (that cat has a thing for Josh Groban, Il Divo, and
the like). Since then (the other day) she's stopped fainting and her
breathing (thank God) seems perfectly normal. But at this point the
vet says it's the end of the road, her chance of making a recovery are
slim to none. The last thing we want is to see her suffer (and trust
me, it's heart-breaking to see how disgusting she looks right now),
but since her appetite is good and she's stopped fainting, we're just
waiting right now. We know the time has probably come to euthanize
her, but it's just too damn hard. These next couple of days, we're
just praying for a miracle, biding time. She's been a beloved member
of the family since I was 9 years old (I'm now 20). If there was
something that could be done at this point, money would be no object,
but it looks like it's the end of the road. The vet doesn't see any
hope. It's just been so cruel. One minute you think she's getting
better, and then she crashes again.


Oh my goodness. I'm sitting here sobbing my heart out for you. I don't cry
very often, but this has hit me in the face like a Base Ball Bat, my dear.
Words can't possibly express the heartfelt sorrow & horror that I feel for
both you & her, right now. Please know that if there was anything that I
could do for you, that I would. I'm probably even on the wrong side of the
pond to you? ( In the UK)

I had to read this twice to take in what you have both had to endure over the
last few months, & I can tell you that my heart bleeds for you, & for the
agony that you have been through, & for the courage that you need to find to
get through the next few days & weeks.. It breaks my heart in two, honestly
it does!

I think that you know that you have reached the end of the road with your
beloved mistress, don't you? I need to know that you accept that you must do
the hardest thing you have ever had to do in your life? You need to cradle
her, & tell her much you love her, how much she means to you & explain that
the love that you have for her is so deep, that you have to reach deep within
your soul to grab that strand of reason & explain that it is her time to walk
with you towards the Rainbow Bridge., & when you reach that point, You have
to let her go. You have to be brave even though you don't want to be.

Talk to her about this journey. Tell her that when you get there, that she
needs to cross, & not look back, & the Rainbow will take her away from her
worldly pain & once she reaches the other side, she will be whole again, in
heart character, & her very soul again. She will take bit of you with her
that will *always be hers, as you will hers too*. No one can ever take that
from either of you -It is the bond that you share that will last until
eternity.

Once she gets there, she can "Be" ; she will be in the wind that stirs your
hair, that whisper on the edge of hearing, & the corner of every important
event that will happen throughout your life....After all, she is a part of
you; You are one....

You will never be alone, & the will come a time when you can smile & think of
her, as she watches over you. Give her the greatest gift of all. Give her
your love and your blessing, as she would you, were she in your position.
Allow her to reach out for peace, comfort she seeks & your love too of course.
...

I believe that most of us here really feel for both of you, but when you are
involved, it is hard to know when is the right time- In reaching out to us
with your heart & words, you are almost making sure that you are doing the
right thing.

You are doing the right thing. You know it in the very core of your soul.
May God bless you & her too,
Hugs of comfort, & Purrs of peace for you both.

Sheelagh "o"

--
Sheelagh "o"

Message posted via http://www.catkb.com

what a beautiful poem!
M.

Anne Jackson wrote:
The message from contains these words:

I posted here about my cat several months ago, back when she was
first diagnosed. In short, she has some sort of auto immune disease
[quoted text clipped - 43 lines]
hope. It's just been so cruel. One minute you think she's getting
better, and then she crashes again.

Oh dear, now I'm crying too...

Maybe this will help ease the pain a little:

May I Go?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Susan A. Jackson


--
Message posted via http://www.catkb.com

On Sun 19 Aug 2007 01:02:24a, wrote in rec.pets.cats.health+behav
ups.com:

[...]
The vet doesn't see any
hope. It's just been so cruel. One minute you think she's getting
better, and then she crashes again.

I'm so sorry you're both going through this. The decision is one of
the most difficult to make, but it's a kind one if you decide that
she's had enough. Good luck and comforting hugs.

--
Cheryl

wrote in message
ps.com...
I posted here about my cat several months ago, back when she was
first diagnosed. In short, she has some sort of auto immune disease
or maythat started to come on in February. When it started we thought
it was a cold. It began with voice loss, lethargy, and a severe
thirst. She was severely anemic and killing her blood cells. She was
put on steroids but they completely surpress her immune system, making
her extremely vulnerable to infections. She got a couple of urinary
track infections where we had her peeing and dribbling blood on the
floor. She's infected eyes for awhile now. The vet gave us some eye
drops to see if it cleared it up, but it's not doing anything. We
think that one of her eyes has now been destroyed, and if a miracle
ever does happen, it will have to be removed. You wouldn't believe how
she looks. Her right eye is disgusting. It's just a solid brown mass
of goo that constantly drips down her face. She's somewhat emaciated
and she has dried medicine and food stuck on her face (it's impossible
to keep her clean) and on parts of her body. Basically, she looks like
a corpse that someone pulled out of a dumpster. At one point I
actually looked at her and burst into tears. However, her appetite is
great (but she's still emaciated, which makes me think cancer...) and
despite not being able to see worth a darn, she's getting around quite
well. She hasn't begun staggering again, so that's good. We took her
off the steroids a while ago because it's so terrible on the body and
causes infection after infection. We THOUGHT she was recovering but
the other morning I put her in her box (she sometimes has to be
carried because she can't see well) and she passed out and litter was
plastered all over the side of her face, mixed with the goo from her
eye. I was horrified that she had begun fainting again, a sign that
her blood count is plummeting again. I was home alone for awhile later
that day and she kept passing out. At one point she was lieing on the
kitchen rub, making sounds like she was actually struggling to
breathe. I lost it and called my mom on her cell and started crying,
saying she was dieing on me. I layed out a blanket for her and put on
her favorite music (that cat has a thing for Josh Groban, Il Divo, and
the like). Since then (the other day) she's stopped fainting and her
breathing (thank God) seems perfectly normal. But at this point the
vet says it's the end of the road, her chance of making a recovery are
slim to none. The last thing we want is to see her suffer (and trust
me, it's heart-breaking to see how disgusting she looks right now),
but since her appetite is good and she's stopped fainting, we're just
waiting right now. We know the time has probably come to euthanize
her, but it's just too damn hard. These next couple of days, we're
just praying for a miracle, biding time. She's been a beloved member
of the family since I was 9 years old (I'm now 20). If there was
something that could be done at this point, money would be no object,
but it looks like it's the end of the road. The vet doesn't see any
hope. It's just been so cruel. One minute you think she's getting
better, and then she crashes again.

I just lost my 17-year-old on June 4 of this year. Once I decided that it
was time to end her suffering, I arranged for my vet to come to my house to
administer mercy. They I spent the last two days of her life giving her
every treat she love, brought her outside for a while to smell the world for
the last time, held her in my arms for hours and petted her and told her how
much I loved her and would miss her. When it was finally over, there were
tears and heartache, but there was a small bit of comfort in knowing that I
made her life as good as I possibly could and I made her death less painful
and more dignified.

Some other things you might want to do in those last days. Snip a bit her
of fur to keep in a locket, find a small stone marker for her grave (they
sell them at PetsMart), and have someone with you who will help you get
through the trauma of losing your friend and help you make the final
arrangements.

Hugs,

CatNipped

This si a lovely poem and hard for me to read now..I have to say
goodbye to my beloved pet today, my first cat love, my friend, my
furry companion, sweet Maurice...
he had a hard life before he met me and we had nice few years
together, but he is in my heart for eternity...
reading about your cat is like looking at mine...I too had to hold
him, so he wouldn't fall into his litterbox, feed him Similac trough
syringe when he couldn't hold his head up to lick and hnad wash him
clean...I can't see him like this anymore, it's been almost a week and
altough he is not more than nine years old, we tried to beat this
cancer, but I won't have him suffer, I will not.
We will say good bye and my dad will take care of him.
This is a nice poem.
Take care, I know what youre going trough...
MK


May I Go?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Susan A. Jackson

--
AnneJ

If you don't quit, and don't cheat, and don't run home
when trouble arrives, you can only win.
~Shelley Long- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

On 24 Aug, 19:57, wrote:
This si a lovely poem and hard for me to read now..I have to say
goodbye to my beloved pet today, my first cat love, my friend, my
furry companion, sweet Maurice...
he had a hard life before he met me and we had nice few years
together, but he is in my heart for eternity...
reading about your cat is like looking at mine...I too had to hold
him, so he wouldn't fall into his litterbox, feed him Similac trough
syringe when he couldn't hold his head up to lick and hnad wash him
clean...I can't see him like this anymore, it's been almost a week and
altough he is not more than nine years old, we tried to beat this
cancer, but I won't have him suffer, I will not.
We will say good bye and my dad will take care of him.
This is a nice poem.
Take care, I know what youre going trough...
MK



May I Go?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Susan A. Jackson

--
AnneJ

If you don't quit, and don't cheat, and don't run home
when trouble arrives, you can only win.
~Shelley Long- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Purrs of comfort, soul soothing, & empathy, for you both,
sheelagh"o"