Thuh Grate Nip Rescue

So guyz, when the H are we gonna get there? They'll be old, thredbare katz
at this rate. This is a mitey slow craft.
Einstein

I dont kare, lemme sleep will ya? I'm dreemin o'dri firm land.
(Red Rory turns over on his little towel and curls up in a tight ball
covering his ears with his extremely fluffy red tail)

: Chester and Clarence turn their purrsonal hoovercraft to shore to pick
: up Rosco, Kitty Schottland and Lilith.
:
: (Einstein and Red Rory are hauled into the plane. Both roll about on the
: towels till dry.)
:
: Red you stink
: Einstein (wrinkling nose, whiskers quivering)
:
: ya, live wit it. ptooie!
: Red Rory (spitting out some mud and a crawdad)
:
: (Einstein retrieves his radio-fone from his tool belt and pushes talk
: button)
: Calling Zizi, calling Zizi......Hey there Zizi. Einstein here. Red and
me iz
: on da plane comin to ya. Ya need to plot a course to the nip fields.
over.
:
: : Here. Grab my paw. This ramp should make it easier for you to get
up.
: :
: : I have towels for you to dry yourself with. They work best if you
roll
: : on them.
: :
: :
: : You first.
: : Red Rory
: :
: : O, no ya dont
: : (Einstein shoves Red head first into pond. )
: :
: : Glub
: : (Red Rory bounces up seaweed dripping from his ears, a frog caught
by
: one
: : slimy leg between his fangs)
: :
: : ribbit
: : Frog pulls leg out and dives into water
: :
: : (Einstein sighs) Ok, Neptune just hang onta my tayle an I'll git ya
: there.
: :
: : Misserable, humiliated and slimy, Red Rory clutches Einstein's tail
and
: : together they arrive at the plane's door.
: :
: : Hi guyz, Helpin paw needed ta lift us in.
: : Einstein
: : :
: : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan
: : :
: : : Red, how bout that. Up for a swim?
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : Red Rory (absolute silence)
: : :
: : : RED?
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : Red Rory (more silence)
: : :
: : : RED! I'm gonna swim. Kin yu swim or iz yu too skeered?
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : Of c-c-corse I kin effing swim! Whatta ya think? Sheesh. Yah,
we'll
: swim
: : : Red Rory
: : :
: : : Okay, Guys, we'll swim out ta' meetcha (ub: I hope)
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : : Are you going to swim out to us or do you want us to come to
: shore?
: : : :
: : : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan
: : : :
: : : : Kin yu land on that pond - without hurtin thuh duks?
: : : : Einstein
: : : : :
: : : : : We're on our way down at your house. Where's your landing
: site?
: : : :
: : : : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan
: : : : :
: : : : : Liberty Hill Texas. Its rite in da center of Texas
: : : : : Einstein
: : : : :
: : : : : Sheesh, I didn nefur kno dat! Rite in da center...hmmmm
: : : : : Red Rory
: : : : :
: : : : : Einstein (ub: can't believe he's thinking)
: : : : :
: : : : : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan, cruising along at high
: altitude
: : in
: : : their
: : : : : : hoovercraft
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Catifurrniya? Oh we iz sooo fur behind!
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Sebastian anna Joolian
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Waaaaaaaay down in Central Texas, 2 tuff kats
hunker
: down
: : in
: : : sum
: : : : : Indian
: : : : : : grass and plot. Einstein is a long haired hyuge
Black
: : Maine
: : : Coon,
: : : : the
: : : : : : brains
: : : : : : of the outfit. Red Rory is a hyuge red cat tuff
and
: : violent,
: : : from
: : : : the
: : : : : : mean
: : : : : : fields of rural Texas.
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Einstein whispers
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Psst, guys, Jest herd sumthing wild. Ya' know
that
: hyuge
: : : patch of
: : : : : : bio-engineered nip Sumkat been growin in Southern
: : Catifornia?
: : : : Well
: : : : : Sumkat
: : : : : : skedaddled cuz hiz tail got singed. Stoopid
coward
: : (Einstein
: : : : spits
: : : : : his
: : : : : : contempt) But it's gudgud fur us cuz we kin git
it
: and
: : sell
: : : it
: : : : and
: : : : : munch
: : : : : : it
: : : : : : an smoke it and...
: : : : : : (Einstein's eyes roll into the back of his head
with
: : delight)
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Ain't no kat nefur, dont want sum of dat primo
stuff.
: Me
: : too.
: : : But
: : : : we
: : :
: : :
: : :
: :
: :
: :
:
:
:

: : Of course you have options. Rosco won't deputize you unless you say
: : it's ok. He hasn't deputized us!
: :
: : That's because Clarence is Purresident of Catmerica, and Chester is
: Chief
: : Justicat. Those are both higher cat offices than being the Sheriff of
: : Catmerica.
: :
: : Rosco
:
: ok, we're reddy fur that deputy thingy now. RED!!!!!! Get ofur heer
stat!
: Einstein
:
: (Red emerges from bush ears perked way up, tail high, marches over to
: Einstein and sits right at his side.)
: Red Rory, reportin fur thuh thingy, officefur.
:
: Okay now. Stand up straight and put your tails in the air. Do you
promise
: to uphold the Catmerica constitution and assist all kittiez in the pursuit
: of nip, food, and clean litter boxes?
:
: Sheriff Rosco P. Catrane of Catmerica

Yessir, Offiser, I do so promise dat.
Einstein (Tail high and fluffy wavin in thuh wind like a black pirate flag)

Ya, shure - say, whut do ya mean - pursoot? Ain't had much skoolin. But yah,
nip, fud an cleen litter boxes is gud stuff.
Red Rory (striped red and white tail high in the air, whiskers pointing
forward as he tries to understand these new words)

Mme. Anaïs ^..^ wrote:
On Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:45:22 -0800, 's nimble,
little paws typed:
I fink diz iz an eggscellent ideah! I'm shur Pit2nya wuld carry da
products in da Booteek, an we culd haf a display in da Spa az well.
Do yu mayke soaps an fings, tu? We culd uze dem! We are lukkin fur a
purroduct lyne tu feetyur.

Cinni

Ooooooh! nip-shampoo! Dat wud be wunnerful to take a baff in!

Mme. Anais, do you have to take baths with watermonsters?????

Nathan

squiffer wrote:
: : Of course you have options. Rosco won't deputize you unless you say
: : it's ok. He hasn't deputized us!
: :
: : That's because Clarence is Purresident of Catmerica, and Chester is
: Chief
: : Justicat. Those are both higher cat offices than being the Sheriff of
: : Catmerica.
: :
: : Rosco
:
: ok, we're reddy fur that deputy thingy now. RED!!!!!! Get ofur heer
stat!
: Einstein
:
: (Red emerges from bush ears perked way up, tail high, marches over to
: Einstein and sits right at his side.)
: Red Rory, reportin fur thuh thingy, officefur.
:
: Okay now. Stand up straight and put your tails in the air. Do you
promise
: to uphold the Catmerica constitution and assist all kittiez in the pursuit
: of nip, food, and clean litter boxes?
:
: Sheriff Rosco P. Catrane of Catmerica

Yessir, Offiser, I do so promise dat.
Einstein (Tail high and fluffy wavin in thuh wind like a black pirate flag)

Ya, shure - say, whut do ya mean - pursoot? Ain't had much skoolin. But yah,
nip, fud an cleen litter boxes is gud stuff.
Red Rory (striped red and white tail high in the air, whiskers pointing
forward as he tries to understand these new words)

Chester sits and watches the 2 cats being made deputies.

That was really good! I didn't know that was how Sheriff Rosco made
deputies!

Nathan pushes the high speed button.

We'll be there in a few minutes. I thought you'd like to get used to
the hoovercraft before I go really fast like I am now.

Nathan

So guyz, when the H are we gonna get there? They'll be old, thredbare katz
at this rate. This is a mitey slow craft.
Einstein

I dont kare, lemme sleep will ya? I'm dreemin o'dri firm land.
(Red Rory turns over on his little towel and curls up in a tight ball
covering his ears with his extremely fluffy red tail)

: Chester and Clarence turn their purrsonal hoovercraft to shore to pick
: up Rosco, Kitty Schottland and Lilith.
:
: (Einstein and Red Rory are hauled into the plane. Both roll about on the
: towels till dry.)
:
: Red you stink
: Einstein (wrinkling nose, whiskers quivering)
:
: ya, live wit it. ptooie!
: Red Rory (spitting out some mud and a crawdad)
:
: (Einstein retrieves his radio-fone from his tool belt and pushes talk
: button)
: Calling Zizi, calling Zizi......Hey there Zizi. Einstein here. Red and
me iz
: on da plane comin to ya. Ya need to plot a course to the nip fields.
over.
:
: : Here. Grab my paw. This ramp should make it easier for you to get
up.
: :
: : I have towels for you to dry yourself with. They work best if you
roll
: : on them.
: :
: :
: : You first.
: : Red Rory
: :
: : O, no ya dont
: : (Einstein shoves Red head first into pond. )
: :
: : Glub
: : (Red Rory bounces up seaweed dripping from his ears, a frog caught
by
: one
: : slimy leg between his fangs)
: :
: : ribbit
: : Frog pulls leg out and dives into water
: :
: : (Einstein sighs) Ok, Neptune just hang onta my tayle an I'll git ya
: there.
: :
: : Misserable, humiliated and slimy, Red Rory clutches Einstein's tail
and
: : together they arrive at the plane's door.
: :
: : Hi guyz, Helpin paw needed ta lift us in.
: : Einstein
: : :
: : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan
: : :
: : : Red, how bout that. Up for a swim?
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : Red Rory (absolute silence)
: : :
: : : RED?
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : Red Rory (more silence)
: : :
: : : RED! I'm gonna swim. Kin yu swim or iz yu too skeered?
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : Of c-c-corse I kin effing swim! Whatta ya think? Sheesh. Yah,
we'll
: swim
: : : Red Rory
: : :
: : : Okay, Guys, we'll swim out ta' meetcha (ub: I hope)
: : : Einstein
: : :
: : : : Are you going to swim out to us or do you want us to come to
: shore?
: : : :
: : : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan
: : : :
: : : : Kin yu land on that pond - without hurtin thuh duks?
: : : : Einstein
: : : : :
: : : : : We're on our way down at your house. Where's your landing
: site?
: : : :
: : : : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan
: : : : :
: : : : : Liberty Hill Texas. Its rite in da center of Texas
: : : : : Einstein
: : : : :
: : : : : Sheesh, I didn nefur kno dat! Rite in da center...hmmmm
: : : : : Red Rory
: : : : :
: : : : : Einstein (ub: can't believe he's thinking)
: : : : :
: : : : : : Chester, Clarence and Nathan, cruising along at high
: altitude
: : in
: : : their
: : : : : : hoovercraft
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Catifurrniya? Oh we iz sooo fur behind!
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Sebastian anna Joolian
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Waaaaaaaay down in Central Texas, 2 tuff kats
hunker
: down
: : in
: : : sum
: : : : : Indian
: : : : : : grass and plot. Einstein is a long haired hyuge
Black
: : Maine
: : : Coon,
: : : : the
: : : : : : brains
: : : : : : of the outfit. Red Rory is a hyuge red cat tuff
and
: : violent,
: : : from
: : : : the
: : : : : : mean
: : : : : : fields of rural Texas.
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Einstein whispers
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Psst, guys, Jest herd sumthing wild. Ya' know
that
: hyuge
: : : patch of
: : : : : : bio-engineered nip Sumkat been growin in Southern
: : Catifornia?
: : : : Well
: : : : : Sumkat
: : : : : : skedaddled cuz hiz tail got singed. Stoopid
coward
: : (Einstein
: : : : spits
: : : : : his
: : : : : : contempt) But it's gudgud fur us cuz we kin git
it
: and
: : sell
: : : it
: : : : and
: : : : : munch
: : : : : : it
: : : : : : an smoke it and...
: : : : : : (Einstein's eyes roll into the back of his head
with
: : delight)
: : : : : :
: : : : : : Ain't no kat nefur, dont want sum of dat primo
stuff.
: Me
: : too.
: : : But
: : : : we
: : :
: : :
: : :
: :
: :
: :
:
:
:

Clarence starts towards Catifornia to pick up Sebastian and Joolian.
Chester gets to the shore of the lake and waits for Kitty Schottland,
Lilith and Sheriff Rosco to get in.

Wif da porter we awr fleskibel!

Sebastian anna Joolian whooz nefur been on a venchure an haz onli hurd bowt
dem frum Sebastian

"clowdercat" wrote in message
.net...
OK. Do you want us to pick you up there or in Texas? We're landing in
Texas right now and we'll be heading for Catifornia as soon as we pick
up Red Rory and Einstein.

Chester, Clarence and Nathan

We awr in Catifurniya!

Sebastian anna Joolian

"clowdercat" wrote in message
. net...
Where are you? We can pick you up and take you to Catifornia if you
can't make it to the plane.

Chester, Clarence and Nathan, cruising along at high altitude in their
hoovercraft

Catifurrniya? Oh we iz sooo fur behind!

Sebastian anna Joolian

"clowdercat" wrote in message
.net...
In article ,

says...
Waaaaaaaay down in Central Texas, 2 tuff kats hunker down in sum
Indian
grass and plot. Einstein is a long haired hyuge Black Maine Coon,
the
brains
of the outfit. Red Rory is a hyuge red cat tuff and violent, from
the
mean
fields of rural Texas.

Einstein whispers

Psst, guys, Jest herd sumthing wild. Ya' know that hyuge patch of
bio-engineered nip Sumkat been growin in Southern Catifornia? Well
Sumkat
skedaddled cuz hiz tail got singed. Stoopid coward (Einstein spits
his
contempt) But it's gudgud fur us cuz we kin git it and sell it and
munch
it
an smoke it and...
(Einstein's eyes roll into the back of his head with delight)

Ain't no kat nefur, dont want sum of dat primo stuff. Me too. But
we
gonna
need help.
Red Rory

Three cats hear on the telepathic relay that they're going to be a
nip
rescue in Catifornia. They pack their new purrsonal flying
hoovercraft
and jump on. They rev up the motors.

Maybe it's because all cats are telepathic!

Chester, listening to the cats talking to each other long distance

Of korse yu are - I thot so, but fur politeness, decided ta check. How are
ya?
And by thuh by, how thuh H is it we iz talkin since you be in catifornyu?
and we be in Texas
Einstein (lookin..worried - tayle slightly fluffed)

damdamdam..be reel keerful - they iz gosts or wizards or witches or..
Red Rory (in a hushed voice - fluffed into an orange bush)

Will YU shut UP! (carefully) It iz odd yu know - how *kin* we be talkin?
Einstein

: Iza boy kittie!
:
: Joolian
:
: "squiffer" wrote in message
: ...
: Hell no you ain't - we jest waitin fur Storm or Clarence or sumkat with
a
: plane ta git us ta Catifurriya. I be Red Rory. Yu kin wait wit us - won
be
: long.
: Red Rory
:
: Sure, notta problem fellas and waitaminit.... er...wood dat be fella and
: ladee?
: Einstein
:
: : Catifurrniya? Oh we iz sooo fur behind!
: :
: : Sebastian anna Joolian
: :
: : Waaaaaaaay down in Central Texas, 2 tuff kats hunker down in sum
: Indian
: : grass and plot. Einstein is a long haired hyuge Black Maine Coon,
the
: : brains
: : of the outfit. Red Rory is a hyuge red cat tuff and violent, from
the
: : mean
: : fields of rural Texas.
: :
: : Einstein whispers
: :
: : Psst, guys, Jest herd sumthing wild. Ya' know that hyuge patch of
: : bio-engineered nip Sumkat been growin in Southern Catifornia? Well
: Sumkat
: : skedaddled cuz hiz tail got singed. Stoopid coward (Einstein spits
: his
: : contempt) But it's gudgud fur us cuz we kin git it and sell it and
: munch
: : it
: : an smoke it and...
: : (Einstein's eyes roll into the back of his head with delight)
: :
: : Ain't no kat nefur, dont want sum of dat primo stuff. Me too. But
we
: : gonna
: : need help.
: : Red Rory
: :
: : Three cats hear on the telepathic relay that they're going to be a
: nip
: : rescue in Catifornia. They pack their new purrsonal flying
: hoovercraft
: : and jump on. They rev up the motors.
: :
: : Are you ready to go, Clarence? - Chester
: :
: : Yes. Are you, Nathan? - Clarence
: :
: : Yes. Let's get flying! - Nathan
: :
: : The three cats push the UP buttons on their hoovercraft. Each
cat's
: : hoovercraft jumps into the air. They turn the hoovercraft southwest
: to
: : go to Texas.
: :
: :
:
:
:
:

"Zee" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Nov 8, 9:38 pm, "squiffer" wrote:
Thank Bast, ZIZI yes I hear you YES !Got the coordinates. over
Einstein

YAY!! *liddle torbie jumps up and down* OK! GO! GO! GO!


~Suspicious looking pilot an co-pilot nod to one another as Storm, Skye an
Hunter are held captive in thuh cargo area~

Purrlie, dis navigator may be trubbul. Yooz shuld get ridda hurz.

Dont giff me a hard time, Benny, just steer. We gotta get dat nip an yooz
shur cant reed a map!

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 20:56:03 -0500, Jan Buzard's nimble, little paws
typed:


Mme. Anais, do you have to take baths with watermonsters?????

Nathan

Yes, I does, monfly no less! And den I gettid dried wif da bigbig
growlmonster. Wen I wuz a liddle gurl an beink shown attid da CFA
cat-showz, I wuz baffed weekly!

Since I started wen i wuz a liddle kitten, I don't mind it, an
aktually LIKE being baffed!

Human note: she gets three shampoos, followed by a coat-conditioner,
then I use a commercial pet drier; for the "show look" you use the
drier and a brush just as a hair-stylist does on humans so as to
straighten and fluff the fur! Most people find this difficult to
believe until they see it, but she holds each leg out and up in turn
so that I can wash and then rinse it and the "underarm" fur; then she
stands on her hind legs so that I can get the belly-fur. She does the
same with the dryer, and with her daily comb-out! It's a matter of
starting them young and being gentle and reassuring. By this time
she's thouroughly used to it,and if I'm late a week, she jumps into
the bath-tub and meows at me!

--
Purrs,

Mme. Anaïs
11/11/2007 1:52:29 PM

Tiger reads, duzint unnerstand hiz wifekitty bowt diz, but duz truzt herown
hoomin so he no longer growlz about diz...
Mme. Anaïs ^..^ wrote in message
.. .
On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 20:56:03 -0500, Jan Buzard's nimble, little paws
typed:


Mme. Anais, do you have to take baths with watermonsters?????

Nathan

Yes, I does, monfly no less! And den I gettid dried wif da bigbig
growlmonster. Wen I wuz a liddle gurl an beink shown attid da CFA
cat-showz, I wuz baffed weekly!

Since I started wen i wuz a liddle kitten, I don't mind it, an
aktually LIKE being baffed!

Human note: she gets three shampoos, followed by a coat-conditioner,
then I use a commercial pet drier; for the "show look" you use the
drier and a brush just as a hair-stylist does on humans so as to
straighten and fluff the fur! Most people find this difficult to
believe until they see it, but she holds each leg out and up in turn
so that I can wash and then rinse it and the "underarm" fur; then she
stands on her hind legs so that I can get the belly-fur. She does the
same with the dryer, and with her daily comb-out! It's a matter of
starting them young and being gentle and reassuring. By this time
she's thouroughly used to it,and if I'm late a week, she jumps into
the bath-tub and meows at me!

--
Purrs,

Mme. Anaïs
11/11/2007 1:52:29 PM