A Sack of Hammers

Or: How smart Suki is.

So there I am doing some serious trading on the World of Warcraft
auctionhouse and I hear the unmistakable horka horka horka sound. With three
cats, two of whom are long haired, this isn't a terribly unsual sound these
days, but it still is reason for concern - Which one is the horkering cat,
where is the horkering going on, and pehaps more importantly, what is said
horka going to land on?

I should have known really, Shadow does everything in the shadows, the only
evidence of her existance tends to be found only by naked foot in the dead
of night. These days Pickle seems to expel everything he needs to expel
somewhere in the Infinite Litterbox, so it was unlikely to be him. And Suki,
being the one with the most long hair, is the usual suspect anyway.

It was Suki. She was perched on top of Joel's computer doing her best
impression of a furry white accordian . Horka! Horka! Unlike my computer,
which has had so many modifications and tweaks the sides have been permantly
removed (have no idea whre they've gone), Joel's computer is still pretty
well sealed. And she was about to do the multicoloured yawn down the side,
which, all things considered, was a pretty good place. The side of the
computer neither stains nor absorbs, and the laminated table beneath is the
same. I have done emergency moves on horkering cats before to protect
valuable and delicate property (like borrowed clothing items, open library
books, cassette tapes etc) but know from experience that in that case, the
horka is more likely to end up all over me rather than anywhere else.
Sometimes being covered in cat puke truly is the better option, but if the
cat and its chosen deposit area are safe, then experience dictates that its
just better to wait until the cat has finished reformatting his stomach
drive and just clean whatever pavement pizza he's left than to relocate
mid-chuck.

So, I wait and watch while Suki goes through her horka routine. After
several dry wretches, nothing ha sben produced, so she goes back to lazing
around ontop of the computer, like nothing unusual has happened.

The problem is that Suki doesn't meatloaf when she's just relaxing. Most
cats tuck themselves in and form a furry barrel shape, but not Suki, because
Suki does flatcat instead. This means she sticks her tail strait out, lowers
her rump, puts her front paws in sphinx position and puts her chin between
her front paws so she looks more akin to roadkill than a happily meatloafing
cat. We have assumed that pose was developed to cover more surface area of
the luxurient Daddychest, but this is how she relaxes no matter where she's
lounging. And thus she atempted to resume this position on the computer top.

And this putting her throat right on the corner of the computer, which, once
she'd settled down to sleep, pushed into her oesophagus and triggered the
gag reflex...horka horka horka.

And, naturally, once she'd assumed the horka pose and gone through a few
accordian-like dry retches, the pressure on her throat was no longer, and
she'd stop, and settle back into flat cat with sharp computer corner
sticking into her throat.

She did the complete cycle several times before I figured out that it was
the computer corner that was causing her to choke herself as I was quite
engrossed in the subtlies of the WoW economy, but repeated - and
unsuccessful - horka attempts finally won my attention. Ou would think that
any living creature would *surely* be able to recognise that having a sharp
corner sticking into the base of your neck would not be a Good Idea, and
that *surely* having it push so hard to cause the gag reflex would make
*any* creature find a new place to sleep. But not Suki. I watched with
macabre fascination as she continued to horka, stop, settle, choke and
horka again and again, until I realised that the just wasn't going to get
the clue-by-severalmillion, and moved her off the computer. She bit me for
my trouble of course, it was *her* perch, dammit, and what right did I have
to boot her off it? Choking and vomitting are a natural part of being such a
rare beauty, and it didn't bother her so why should it bother me?

Like I said, she'd make a sack of hammers look smart. But I do have to
concede: she is very very pretty.

Yowie
--
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many
pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones.

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Or: How smart Suki is.

So there I am doing some serious trading on the World of Warcraft
auctionhouse and I hear the unmistakable horka horka horka sound. With
three
cats, two of whom are long haired, this isn't a terribly unsual sound
these
days, but it still is reason for concern - Which one is the horkering cat,
where is the horkering going on, and pehaps more importantly, what is said
horka going to land on?

I should have known really, Shadow does everything in the shadows, the
only
evidence of her existance tends to be found only by naked foot in the dead
of night. These days Pickle seems to expel everything he needs to expel
somewhere in the Infinite Litterbox, so it was unlikely to be him. And
Suki,
being the one with the most long hair, is the usual suspect anyway.

It was Suki. She was perched on top of Joel's computer doing her best
impression of a furry white accordian . Horka! Horka! Unlike my computer,
which has had so many modifications and tweaks the sides have been
permantly
removed (have no idea whre they've gone), Joel's computer is still pretty
well sealed. And she was about to do the multicoloured yawn down the side,
which, all things considered, was a pretty good place. The side of the
computer neither stains nor absorbs, and the laminated table beneath is
the
same. I have done emergency moves on horkering cats before to protect
valuable and delicate property (like borrowed clothing items, open library
books, cassette tapes etc) but know from experience that in that case, the
horka is more likely to end up all over me rather than anywhere else.
Sometimes being covered in cat puke truly is the better option, but if the
cat and its chosen deposit area are safe, then experience dictates that
its
just better to wait until the cat has finished reformatting his stomach
drive and just clean whatever pavement pizza he's left than to relocate
mid-chuck.

So, I wait and watch while Suki goes through her horka routine. After
several dry wretches, nothing ha sben produced, so she goes back to lazing
around ontop of the computer, like nothing unusual has happened.

The problem is that Suki doesn't meatloaf when she's just relaxing. Most
cats tuck themselves in and form a furry barrel shape, but not Suki,
because
Suki does flatcat instead. This means she sticks her tail strait out,
lowers
her rump, puts her front paws in sphinx position and puts her chin between
her front paws so she looks more akin to roadkill than a happily
meatloafing
cat. We have assumed that pose was developed to cover more surface area
of
the luxurient Daddychest, but this is how she relaxes no matter where
she's
lounging. And thus she atempted to resume this position on the computer
top.

And this putting her throat right on the corner of the computer, which,
once she'd settled down to sleep, pushed into her oesophagus and triggered
the gag reflex...horka horka horka.

And, naturally, once she'd assumed the horka pose and gone through a few
accordian-like dry retches, the pressure on her throat was no longer, and
she'd stop, and settle back into flat cat with sharp computer corner
sticking into her throat.

She did the complete cycle several times before I figured out that it was
the computer corner that was causing her to choke herself as I was quite
engrossed in the subtlies of the WoW economy, but repeated - and
unsuccessful - horka attempts finally won my attention. Ou would think
that any living creature would *surely* be able to recognise that having
a sharp corner sticking into the base of your neck would not be a Good
Idea, and that *surely* having it push so hard to cause the gag reflex
would make *any* creature find a new place to sleep. But not Suki. I
watched with macabre fascination as she continued to horka, stop, settle,
choke and horka again and again, until I realised that the just wasn't
going to get the clue-by-severalmillion, and moved her off the computer.
She bit me for my trouble of course, it was *her* perch, dammit, and what
right did I have to boot her off it? Choking and vomitting are a natural
part of being such a rare beauty, and it didn't bother her so why should
it bother me?

Like I said, she'd make a sack of hammers look smart. But I do have to
concede: she is very very pretty.

Yowie
--
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many
pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones.

ROTFLMAOWTIME!!!! choke, choke, cough, wipes eyes Oh my gawd, Yowie, you
have no idea how much I needed that belly laugh. Thank you so much for this
post!

Hugs,

CatNipped

OMG......this was funny. Sometimes they just don't get it....lol

Celeste

Yowie wrote:

Or: How smart Suki is.

[snip long and hilarious story]

Dumb and pretty - Suki is a bimbo!

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

Yowie wrote:

Like I said, she'd make a sack of hammers look smart. But I do have to
concede: she is very very pretty.

LOL! I don't think I've ever seen so many euphemisms of 'vomit' in one
post. Poor Suki. I hope she figures out the connection between the
computer edge and her discomfort one day.


--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban.
In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

"Yowie" wrote in
:

until I realised that the just wasn't going to get the
clue-by-severalmillion, and moved her off the computer. She bit me for
my trouble of course, it was *her* perch, dammit, and what right did I
have to boot her off it?

To her credit, the economy is in the state it's in due to investors with
even less sense.

Oh, and check out the threads on Auctioneer in alt.games.warcraft. I'm
discovering some pretty nifty parts of the addon I'd never looked at
before, like the Vendor and Disenchant Searchers.

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Or: How smart Suki is.

So there I am doing some serious trading on the World of Warcraft
auctionhouse and I hear the unmistakable horka horka horka sound. With
three
cats, two of whom are long haired, this isn't a terribly unsual sound
these
days, but it still is reason for concern - Which one is the horkering cat,
where is the horkering going on, and pehaps more importantly, what is said
horka going to land on?

I should have known really, Shadow does everything in the shadows, the
only
evidence of her existance tends to be found only by naked foot in the dead
of night. These days Pickle seems to expel everything he needs to expel
somewhere in the Infinite Litterbox, so it was unlikely to be him. And
Suki,
being the one with the most long hair, is the usual suspect anyway.

It was Suki. She was perched on top of Joel's computer doing her best
impression of a furry white accordian . Horka! Horka! Unlike my computer,
which has had so many modifications and tweaks the sides have been
permantly
removed (have no idea whre they've gone), Joel's computer is still pretty
well sealed. And she was about to do the multicoloured yawn down the side,
which, all things considered, was a pretty good place. The side of the
computer neither stains nor absorbs, and the laminated table beneath is
the
same. I have done emergency moves on horkering cats before to protect
valuable and delicate property (like borrowed clothing items, open library
books, cassette tapes etc) but know from experience that in that case, the
horka is more likely to end up all over me rather than anywhere else.
Sometimes being covered in cat puke truly is the better option, but if the
cat and its chosen deposit area are safe, then experience dictates that
its
just better to wait until the cat has finished reformatting his stomach
drive and just clean whatever pavement pizza he's left than to relocate
mid-chuck.

So, I wait and watch while Suki goes through her horka routine. After
several dry wretches, nothing ha sben produced, so she goes back to lazing
around ontop of the computer, like nothing unusual has happened.

The problem is that Suki doesn't meatloaf when she's just relaxing. Most
cats tuck themselves in and form a furry barrel shape, but not Suki,
because
Suki does flatcat instead. This means she sticks her tail strait out,
lowers
her rump, puts her front paws in sphinx position and puts her chin between
her front paws so she looks more akin to roadkill than a happily
meatloafing
cat. We have assumed that pose was developed to cover more surface area
of
the luxurient Daddychest, but this is how she relaxes no matter where
she's
lounging. And thus she atempted to resume this position on the computer
top.

And this putting her throat right on the corner of the computer, which,
once she'd settled down to sleep, pushed into her oesophagus and triggered
the gag reflex...horka horka horka.

And, naturally, once she'd assumed the horka pose and gone through a few
accordian-like dry retches, the pressure on her throat was no longer, and
she'd stop, and settle back into flat cat with sharp computer corner
sticking into her throat.

She did the complete cycle several times before I figured out that it was
the computer corner that was causing her to choke herself as I was quite
engrossed in the subtlies of the WoW economy, but repeated - and
unsuccessful - horka attempts finally won my attention. Ou would think
that any living creature would *surely* be able to recognise that having
a sharp corner sticking into the base of your neck would not be a Good
Idea, and that *surely* having it push so hard to cause the gag reflex
would make *any* creature find a new place to sleep. But not Suki. I
watched with macabre fascination as she continued to horka, stop, settle,
choke and horka again and again, until I realised that the just wasn't
going to get the clue-by-severalmillion, and moved her off the computer.
She bit me for my trouble of course, it was *her* perch, dammit, and what
right did I have to boot her off it? Choking and vomitting are a natural
part of being such a rare beauty, and it didn't bother her so why should
it bother me?

Like I said, she'd make a sack of hammers look smart. But I do have to
concede: she is very very pretty.



Hehehehe. What we'd call "a box of rocks."


--
Theresa and Dante

Stinky Forever: http://pets.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

"Marina" wrote in message
...
Yowie wrote:

Like I said, she'd make a sack of hammers look smart. But I do have to
concede: she is very very pretty.

LOL! I don't think I've ever seen so many euphemisms of 'vomit' in one
post.


The Australians have that down to an art form.


--
Theresa and Dante

Stinky Forever: http://pets.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

only good news here is no puke, Lee
"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Or: How smart Suki is.

So there I am doing some serious trading on the World of Warcraft
auctionhouse and I hear the unmistakable horka horka horka sound. With
three
cats, two of whom are long haired, this isn't a terribly unsual sound
these
days, but it still is reason for concern - Which one is the horkering cat,
where is the horkering going on, and pehaps more importantly, what is said
horka going to land on?

I should have known really, Shadow does everything in the shadows, the
only
evidence of her existance tends to be found only by naked foot in the dead
of night. These days Pickle seems to expel everything he needs to expel
somewhere in the Infinite Litterbox, so it was unlikely to be him. And
Suki,
being the one with the most long hair, is the usual suspect anyway.

It was Suki. She was perched on top of Joel's computer doing her best
impression of a furry white accordian . Horka! Horka! Unlike my computer,
which has had so many modifications and tweaks the sides have been
permantly
removed (have no idea whre they've gone), Joel's computer is still pretty
well sealed. And she was about to do the multicoloured yawn down the side,
which, all things considered, was a pretty good place. The side of the
computer neither stains nor absorbs, and the laminated table beneath is
the
same. I have done emergency moves on horkering cats before to protect
valuable and delicate property (like borrowed clothing items, open library
books, cassette tapes etc) but know from experience that in that case, the
horka is more likely to end up all over me rather than anywhere else.
Sometimes being covered in cat puke truly is the better option, but if the
cat and its chosen deposit area are safe, then experience dictates that
its
just better to wait until the cat has finished reformatting his stomach
drive and just clean whatever pavement pizza he's left than to relocate
mid-chuck.

So, I wait and watch while Suki goes through her horka routine. After
several dry wretches, nothing ha sben produced, so she goes back to lazing
around ontop of the computer, like nothing unusual has happened.

The problem is that Suki doesn't meatloaf when she's just relaxing. Most
cats tuck themselves in and form a furry barrel shape, but not Suki,
because
Suki does flatcat instead. This means she sticks her tail strait out,
lowers
her rump, puts her front paws in sphinx position and puts her chin between
her front paws so she looks more akin to roadkill than a happily
meatloafing
cat. We have assumed that pose was developed to cover more surface area
of
the luxurient Daddychest, but this is how she relaxes no matter where
she's
lounging. And thus she atempted to resume this position on the computer
top.

And this putting her throat right on the corner of the computer, which,
once she'd settled down to sleep, pushed into her oesophagus and triggered
the gag reflex...horka horka horka.

And, naturally, once she'd assumed the horka pose and gone through a few
accordian-like dry retches, the pressure on her throat was no longer, and
she'd stop, and settle back into flat cat with sharp computer corner
sticking into her throat.

She did the complete cycle several times before I figured out that it was
the computer corner that was causing her to choke herself as I was quite
engrossed in the subtlies of the WoW economy, but repeated - and
unsuccessful - horka attempts finally won my attention. Ou would think
that any living creature would *surely* be able to recognise that having
a sharp corner sticking into the base of your neck would not be a Good
Idea, and that *surely* having it push so hard to cause the gag reflex
would make *any* creature find a new place to sleep. But not Suki. I
watched with macabre fascination as she continued to horka, stop, settle,
choke and horka again and again, until I realised that the just wasn't
going to get the clue-by-severalmillion, and moved her off the computer.
She bit me for my trouble of course, it was *her* perch, dammit, and what
right did I have to boot her off it? Choking and vomitting are a natural
part of being such a rare beauty, and it didn't bother her so why should
it bother me?

Like I said, she'd make a sack of hammers look smart. But I do have to
concede: she is very very pretty.

Yowie
--
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many
pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones.

On Mar 14, 5:20�pm, "Yowie" wrote:
Or: How smart Suki is.

So there I am doing some serious trading on the World of Warcraft
auctionhouse and I hear the unmistakable horka horka horka sound. With three
cats, two of whom are long haired, this isn't a terribly unsual sound these
days, but it still is reason for concern - Which one is the horkering cat,
where is the horkering going on, and pehaps more importantly, what is said
horka going to land on?

I should have known really, Shadow does everything in the shadows, the only
evidence of her existance tends to be found only by naked foot in the dead
of night. These days Pickle seems to expel everything he needs to expel
somewhere in the Infinite Litterbox, so it was unlikely to be him. And Suki,
being the one with the most long hair, is the usual suspect anyway.

It was Suki. She was perched on top of Joel's computer doing her best
impression of a furry white accordian . Horka! Horka! Unlike my computer,
which has had so many modifications and tweaks the sides have been permantly
removed (have no idea whre they've gone), Joel's computer is still pretty
well sealed. And she was about to do the multicoloured yawn down the side,
which, all things considered, was a pretty good place. The side of the
computer neither stains nor absorbs, and the laminated table beneath is the
same. I have done emergency moves on horkering cats before to protect
valuable and delicate property (like borrowed clothing items, open library
books, cassette tapes etc) but know from experience that in that case, the
horka is more likely to end up all over me rather than anywhere else.
Sometimes being covered in cat puke truly is the better option, but if the
cat and its chosen deposit area are safe, then experience dictates that its
just better to wait until the cat has finished reformatting his stomach
drive and just clean whatever pavement pizza he's left than to relocate
mid-chuck.

So, I wait and watch while Suki goes through her horka routine. After
several dry wretches, nothing ha sben produced, so she goes back to lazing
around ontop of the computer, like nothing unusual has happened.

The problem is that Suki doesn't meatloaf when she's just relaxing. Most
cats tuck themselves in and form a furry barrel shape, but not Suki, because
Suki does flatcat instead. This means she sticks her tail strait out, lowers
her rump, puts her front paws in sphinx position and puts her chin between
her front paws so she looks more akin to roadkill than a happily meatloafing
cat. We have assumed that pose was developed to cover more surface area �of
the luxurient Daddychest, but this is how she relaxes no matter where she's
lounging. And thus she atempted to resume this position on the computer top.

And this putting her throat right on the corner of the computer, which, once
she'd settled down to sleep, pushed into her oesophagus and triggered the
gag reflex...horka horka horka.

And, naturally, once she'd assumed the horka pose and gone through a few
accordian-like dry retches, the pressure on her throat was no longer, and
she'd stop, and settle back into flat cat with sharp computer corner
sticking into her throat.

She did the complete cycle several times before I figured out that it was
the computer corner that was causing her to choke herself as I was quite
engrossed in the subtlies of the WoW economy, but repeated - and
unsuccessful - horka attempts finally won my attention. Ou would think that
any �living creature would *surely* be able to recognise that having a sharp
corner sticking into the base of your neck would not be a Good Idea, and
that *surely* having it push so hard to cause the gag reflex would make
*any* creature find a new place to sleep. But not Suki. I watched with
macabre fascination as �she continued to horka, stop, settle, choke and
horka again and again, until I realised that the just wasn't going to get
the clue-by-severalmillion, and moved her off the computer. She bit me for
my trouble of course, it was *her* perch, dammit, and what right did I have
to boot her off it? Choking and vomitting are a natural part of being such a
rare beauty, and it didn't bother her so why should it bother me?

Like I said, she'd make a sack of hammers look smart. But I do have to
concede: she is very very pretty.

Yowie
--
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many
pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones.

==================================================
When you're pretty you don't have to be smart )

Suz&Spicey