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Rules for Care and Feeding of Stray Cats



 
 
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  #1  
Old May 3rd 05, 12:05 PM
Cathi
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Posts: n/a
Default Rules for Care and Feeding of Stray Cats

Somewhere I saw a joke list of rules for the care and feeding of stray
cats. As it progressed, it got laxer and laxer, eg:

Stray cats will absolutely not be allowed in the house under any
circumstances

Stray cats will only be allowed in the house if it's snowing outside

Stray cats will be allowed in the house if it happens to be a bit breezy
.....

If anyone's got it, could they repost please?




--
Cathi

Who might be in the process of being adopted ....
  #2  
Old May 3rd 05, 12:36 PM
Flippy
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Posts: n/a
Default

Here you go, Cathi. If you go to my website link you will be able to read
the author's note about how she came to write the anecdote.
http://www.flippyscatpage.com/straycats.html

--
Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.
My Cats: http://www.flippyscatpage.com



=========================================
Our Strict, Unbending Rules For Dealing With Stray Cats
=========================================

Stray cats will not be fed.

Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food tossed on the
ground, outside.

Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a
little milk in a spare margarine container.

Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm
milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

Stray cats will not try to make the house cats jealous when they are eating
THEIR food!

Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent
residence and will not be petted, played with, or picked up and cuddled.

Stray cats will not be petted, played with, or picked up and cuddled
unnecessarily.

Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will
absolutely not be given a name.

Stray cats will not have special toys bought for them so that they will be
tempted to come closer.

Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at
any time.

Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times,
maybe holidays.

Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in
"y."

Stray cats will not beat up the house cats when they come inside the house
on days ending in "Y."

Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen
their claws on the furniture.

Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the
really good furniture.

Stray cats will not be allowed to sharpen their claws on the people nice
enough to give them a home.

Stray cats will not climb up the insides of people's pants legs, clinging to
the thermal underwear, when they are sharpening their claws on the people
nice enough to give them a home.

Stray cats will sleep outside.

Stray cats will sleep outside unless it's raining.

Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

Stray cats will sleep in the house but not in the bedroom.

Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket in a
corner of the bedroom.

Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

Stray cats will not be allowed to curl up on our pillows, tickle one ear
with their tail, and purr in the other ear all night.

Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers unless
we're cold.

Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except
at the foot.

Stray cats sleeping under the covers at the foot of the bed will not be
allowed to chew on our feet.

Stray cats that have a habit of chewing toes when they sleep under the
covers at the foot of the bed will find that we've taken to wearing our
slippers to bed.

Stray cats will be neutered as soon as possible.

Stray cats that are already pregnant will sleep in a specially prepared box.

Stray cats that are already pregnant and searching for a place to have their
babies will be given a safe place to have them, comfortably lined with an
old blanket or towels.

Stray cats that are already pregnant and searching for a place to have their
babies will not be allowed in closets, drawers, cupboards or spare rooms.

Stray cats that have their babies in the closet in our bedroom will not be
allowed to pull our clothes from the hangers.

Stray cats that have their babies on our best evening gown will have to live
with that on their conscience forever! We will have to live with the $90
cleaning bill.

Stray cats will not play with our feet when we're sitting at the desk. It
makes it hard to concentrate.

Stray cats will not play on the desk.

Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.

Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when
the human is ';lkjijn huhgtgv ffdsa trying to use it!

Copyright © StarryNyte
http://www.flippyscatpage.com/straycats.html


"Cathi" wrote in message
...
Somewhere I saw a joke list of rules for the care and feeding of stray
cats. As it progressed, it got laxer and laxer, eg:

Stray cats will absolutely not be allowed in the house under any
circumstances

Stray cats will only be allowed in the house if it's snowing outside

Stray cats will be allowed in the house if it happens to be a bit breezy
....

If anyone's got it, could they repost please?




--
Cathi

Who might be in the process of being adopted ....



 




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