OT - Apology & Weirdness Alert

OK, maybe it was just me being too sensitive, or maybe there are just some
people who really are sick of hearing about my problems - either way, I'm
sorry if I offended anyone with my post. My only excuse/explanation is that
I'm feeling really fragile and tenuous just now - floating on the outside of
my life looking in, mostly just waiting/hoping for it to end.

I feel especially strange right now - I got a phone call from my ex
sister-in-law telling me my ex-husband had been found 5-days dead in his
house last week (she needed me to get in touch with my children for them to
give permission to release the body to her for burial). I keep checking to
see if there are any feelings there about this news, but nothing seems to
surface except surprise that his liver held out this long (he was a very
heavy alcoholic since he was teenager).

There could be a sense of revenge since he was violently abusive to me and
had started on my children before I threw him out in 1979, but no. There
could be a sense of sorrow for a life of potential genius (and he was one,
actually) thrown away into a bottle, but no. There could be a sense of
triumph that I just plain outlasted the b*stard (but given my health, not by
much), but no.

There's just nothing there, less than what I would feel hearing of a
stranger's death, and that feels weird to me.

I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO** off-topic -
looking for some kind of validation or explanation I guess.

Comments???

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

Email: L(dot)T(dot)Crews(at)comcast(dot)net

You've had nowt to do with him for 32 years; he was a stranger. Your
reaction seems quite normal and expected, to me. It also demonstrates
that you don't harbour any detrimental emotions towards him - he was
nothing to you (and quite rightly).

JMHO
Tish

On Jun 12, 6:14*pm, "CatNipped" wrote:
OK, maybe it was just me being too sensitive, or maybe there are just some
people who really are sick of hearing about my problems - either way, I'm
sorry if I offended anyone with my post. *My only excuse/explanation is that
I'm feeling really fragile and tenuous just now - floating on the outside of
my life looking in, mostly just waiting/hoping for it to end.

I feel especially strange right now - I got a phone call from my ex
sister-in-law telling me my ex-husband had been found 5-days dead in his
house last week (she needed me to get in touch with my children for them to
give permission to release the body to her for burial). *I keep checking to
see if there are any feelings there about this news, but nothing seems to
surface except surprise that his liver held out this long (he was a very
heavy alcoholic since he was teenager).

There could be a sense of revenge since he was violently abusive to me and
had started on my children before I threw him out in 1979, but no. *There
could be a sense of sorrow for a life of potential genius (and he was one,
actually) thrown away into a bottle, but no. *There could be a sense of
triumph that I just plain outlasted the b*stard (but given my health, not by
much), but no.

There's just nothing there, less than what I would feel hearing of a
stranger's death, and that feels weird to me.

I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO** off-topic -
looking for some kind of validation or explanation I guess.

Comments???

--
Hugs,

CatNipped

I think that's perfectly normal. It's taking
all your energy just to function day-to-day. Your body and mind know
that you don't have
the energy to waste on grief for someone you knew when you were a
different person,
living in a different world.
On a much lesser level, I think sometimes about friends with whom I
was very close
twenty years ago. Now I think of them, and in a strange way it's like
they never
existed at all. I think that's kinda weird, too. And yet other
friends, I pick up the
phone and we can easily pick up where we left off so many years ago.
Maybe
there's a connection you only make with certain friends. (I am
rambling....you know
I am not referring to your ex in this capacity)

Sherry

Sherry

On Jun 13, 12:14*am, "CatNipped" wrote:

I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO** off-topic -
looking for some kind of validation or explanation I guess.

Comments???

First of all you and he seperated 32 years ago so not surprisingly you
won;'t feel anything if you did I'd wonder if you were still carrying
a torch for him. I'm glad you can put things into perspective you
have other concerns that him right now

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

"CatNipped" wrote in
:

OK, maybe it was just me being too sensitive, or maybe there are just
some people who really are sick of hearing about my problems - either
way, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my post. My only
excuse/explanation is that I'm feeling really fragile and tenuous just
now - floating on the outside of my life looking in, mostly just
waiting/hoping for it to end.

I feel especially strange right now - I got a phone call from my ex
sister-in-law telling me my ex-husband had been found 5-days dead in
his house last week (she needed me to get in touch with my children
for them to give permission to release the body to her for burial). I
keep checking to see if there are any feelings there about this news,
but nothing seems to surface except surprise that his liver held out
this long (he was a very heavy alcoholic since he was teenager).

There could be a sense of revenge since he was violently abusive to me
and had started on my children before I threw him out in 1979, but no.
There could be a sense of sorrow for a life of potential genius (and
he was one, actually) thrown away into a bottle, but no. There could
be a sense of triumph that I just plain outlasted the b*stard (but
given my health, not by much), but no.

There's just nothing there, less than what I would feel hearing of a
stranger's death, and that feels weird to me.

I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO**
off-topic - looking for some kind of validation or explanation I
guess.

Comments???


Seems to me the world is a better place without him in it. No need to fret
about your lack of feeling about it. Sounds normal to me.

Bobble

Judith Latham wrote:
In article , CatNipped
wrote:
OK, maybe it was just me being too sensitive, or maybe there are just
some people who really are sick of hearing about my problems - either
way, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my post. My only
excuse/explanation is that I'm feeling really fragile and tenuous just
now - floating on the outside of my life looking in, mostly just
waiting/hoping for it to end.

I feel especially strange right now - I got a phone call from my ex
sister-in-law telling me my ex-husband had been found 5-days dead in his
house last week (she needed me to get in touch with my children for
them to give permission to release the body to her for burial). I keep
checking to see if there are any feelings there about this news, but
nothing seems to surface except surprise that his liver held out this
long (he was a very heavy alcoholic since he was teenager).

There could be a sense of revenge since he was violently abusive to me
and had started on my children before I threw him out in 1979, but no.
There could be a sense of sorrow for a life of potential genius (and he
was one, actually) thrown away into a bottle, but no. There could be a
sense of triumph that I just plain outlasted the b*stard (but given my
health, not by much), but no.

There's just nothing there, less than what I would feel hearing of a
stranger's death, and that feels weird to me.

I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO** off-topic -
looking for some kind of validation or explanation I guess.

Comments???

I think that it's normal that you feel nothing about the death of someone
who treated you so badly and your children too. I think it says lot of
good about you that you haven't felt pleasure that he died and no one knew
he was dead for so long. As they would say around her, Good on ya!

Judith


I had a close neighbor a few years ago who told me about the demise of
her second "X". Her statement: "Good riddance". And she meant it. MLB

"MLB" wrote in message
...
Judith Latham wrote:
In article , CatNipped
wrote:
OK, maybe it was just me being too sensitive, or maybe there are just
some people who really are sick of hearing about my problems - either
way, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my post. My only
excuse/explanation is that I'm feeling really fragile and tenuous just
now - floating on the outside of my life looking in, mostly just
waiting/hoping for it to end.

I feel especially strange right now - I got a phone call from my ex
sister-in-law telling me my ex-husband had been found 5-days dead in his
house last week (she needed me to get in touch with my children for
them to give permission to release the body to her for burial). I keep
checking to see if there are any feelings there about this news, but
nothing seems to surface except surprise that his liver held out this
long (he was a very heavy alcoholic since he was teenager).

There could be a sense of revenge since he was violently abusive to me
and had started on my children before I threw him out in 1979, but no.
There could be a sense of sorrow for a life of potential genius (and he
was one, actually) thrown away into a bottle, but no. There could be a
sense of triumph that I just plain outlasted the b*stard (but given my
health, not by much), but no.

There's just nothing there, less than what I would feel hearing of a
stranger's death, and that feels weird to me.

I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO**
off-topic - looking for some kind of validation or explanation I guess.

Comments???

I think that it's normal that you feel nothing about the death of someone
who treated you so badly and your children too. I think it says lot of
good about you that you haven't felt pleasure that he died and no one
knew
he was dead for so long. As they would say around her, Good on ya!

Judith


I had a close neighbor a few years ago who told me about the demise of her
second "X". Her statement: "Good riddance". And she meant it. MLB

That is sad. I agree with others here. Not feeling anything about it shows
you have healed, which you obviously needed to do.

Joy

On Jun 13, 2:07*pm, hopitus wrote:
On Jun 12, 5:14*pm, "CatNipped"" wrote:





OK, maybe it was just me being too sensitive, or maybe there are just some
people who really are sick of hearing about my problems - either way, I'm
sorry if I offended anyone with my post. *My only excuse/explanation is that
I'm feeling really fragile and tenuous just now - floating on the outside of
my life looking in, mostly just waiting/hoping for it to end.
I feel especially strange right now - I got a phone call from my ex
sister-in-law telling me my ex-husband had been found 5-days dead in his
house last week (she needed me to get in touch with my children for them to
give permission to release the body to her for burial). *I keep checking to
see if there are any feelings there about this news, but nothing seems to
surface except surprise that his liver held out this long (he was a very
heavy alcoholic since he was teenager).
There could be a sense of revenge since he was violently abusive to me and
had started on my children before I threw him out in 1979, but no. *There
could be a sense of sorrow for a life of potential genius (and he was one,
actually) thrown away into a bottle, but no. *There could be a sense of
triumph that I just plain outlasted the b*stard (but given my health, not by
much), but no.
There's just nothing there, less than what I would feel hearing of a
stranger's death, and that feels weird to me. I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO** off-topic -
looking for some kind of validation or explanation I guess.
Comments???
CatNipped

You need update on Great Galactic Kitten (GGK) who guards the Portal
to Rainbow Bridge. His authority is
bound to welcome & admit *every* cat, regardless of age, condition, or
meanness quotient. Smarts have nothing
to do with this. For cats. BTW I have received a "message" from my
familiar (unwilling messenger) who reports
your latest RB cat was not only welcomed, still loves you tons, and is
happy with your older RB cats, all in the
RB Waiting Area, where she awaits your rejoining her...whenever.
GGK is under no obligation to either evaluate nor admit *humans*
through his Portal. If humans attempt admission
there, he calls on his boss (you may have heard of) St. Michael the
Archangel, guardian of the Portal humans are
admitted through. St. Michael has no regard for "genius" or
"neanderthal" i.q. including "Mensa" status. I get
NO messages from St. Michael (thank Bast) *but word is that GGK at his
lower level Portal viewed your mean
ex riding a lightning bolt headed down to where he belonged for his
meanness to you and yours. Needless to
say, no way to validate this by we on This *Side. Boo. Hoo.
When someone in my immediate family who was mean to almost everyone
died, we went out after the funeral
and partied. Every glass hoisted was with an anecdote to how this
person was mean to them; no one was
toasting their memory. I do not suggest you do this in your
"condition" but at least perhaps you can take some
comfort and yeah, revenge (tastes sweeter when cold) for outliving the
mean ex.
Here is *my* short list of talent/genius wasted by the Bottle:
E.A. Poe who considered N.Hathorne (no not spelled wrong) a romantic
wuss author-wise and said so
Michael Hutchence
John Denver
I don't think Poe ever married but who cares; Hutchence's love life
was a complicated mess, and Denver
should never have gotten a pilot's license; his widow still hawking
his CDs on oublic tv channels, butter not
melting in her attractrive, smiling mouth, LOL.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

E.A. Poe was widowed. As a kid I was obsessed with most sad or tragic
stories hence the only reason I know this. Modern-day experts now
claim he died from rabies. He was a cat lover. I still think the
parody
written by Poe's cat is a hoot. I'll have to google to find it again.
I have no doubt whatsoever that Lori's gentle giant heart-cat was
welcomed at the Gate, and is watching over Lori as we speak (write?)
Your sources confirm this.

Sherry

hopitus wrote:

Here is *my* short list of talent/genius wasted by the Bottle:
Michael Hutchence

Liquor might've eventually gotten him, but he was done in by playing
games that aren't meant to be played solo.

Joyce

--
Excuse for Not Doing One's Homework:
My pit bull, here, ate it. -- J.D. Berry, Springfield

On 13/06/2011 9:14 AM, CatNipped wrote:
OK, maybe it was just me being too sensitive, or maybe there are just some
people who really are sick of hearing about my problems - either way, I'm
sorry if I offended anyone with my post. My only excuse/explanation is that
I'm feeling really fragile and tenuous just now - floating on the outside of
my life looking in, mostly just waiting/hoping for it to end.

I feel especially strange right now - I got a phone call from my ex
sister-in-law telling me my ex-husband had been found 5-days dead in his
house last week (she needed me to get in touch with my children for them to
give permission to release the body to her for burial). I keep checking to
see if there are any feelings there about this news, but nothing seems to
surface except surprise that his liver held out this long (he was a very
heavy alcoholic since he was teenager).

There could be a sense of revenge since he was violently abusive to me and
had started on my children before I threw him out in 1979, but no. There
could be a sense of sorrow for a life of potential genius (and he was one,
actually) thrown away into a bottle, but no. There could be a sense of
triumph that I just plain outlasted the b*stard (but given my health, not by
much), but no.

There's just nothing there, less than what I would feel hearing of a
stranger's death, and that feels weird to me.

I don't even know quite why I even posted all this - **SOOOO** off-topic -
looking for some kind of validation or explanation I guess.

Comments???

Replied to in e-mail, but *hugs67

Suki just ran across the keyboard. Don't know what changes she made, but
figured they should stay.

*Hugs* anyways

Yowie