Help with nervous cat?

I do a little volunteer work in animal rescue. This has
included visiting with a few dozen cats in a cattery every
week, to help them get used to humans. Some like to be
picked up, and some (even the old-timers) do not. All
ultimately will accept being stroked, at least a bit. Cat
personalities really do vary about as much as human
personalities.

I no longer believe in letting cats roam outside. They can
get bitten by other cats or dogs, or hurt by cruel people,
or (very common) hit by a car. One of my cats loves busting
out of the house (by accident, and making me a nervous wreck
until I lure him back in around supper time), but he's also
one who, a few years ago before I got him, broke a leg on
one of his forays into the world.

I avoid sudden moves or sounds around any cat that seems a
bit nervous. I always hold my hand a few inches from his/her
nose, and wait for him/her to move his face close to my
hand, before trying to stroke him/her. I think they're
adjusting to one's odor. Once they get used to it, they're
more willing to let the person get close the next time.

You can try a heating pad set on low during the day, and see
if your cat favors this spot. In the winter time, this has
always been a big hit with the cats I've had. A little
catnip now and then seems to make a happy cat, too.

Sounds like you have a fine cat, just not one that is a
"picker upper."

"Paul" wrote
Hi all,
I have a 1 year old neutered tom cat, and had him since
2months old.
I've always tried to play with him since i got him, and i
speak to him all
the time, but despite this, he's still nervous, doesn't
like to be picked
up or stroked most of the time etc.
at night, he will come and sleep with me though, which he
seems to love.

are there any ways to help him relax? often there's only
myself in the
flat, and my girlfriend comes at weekends, so it's not a
hectic
environment.he has toys and likes playing with us
sometimes (he runs after
me if i run from one room to another). i'm just worried
that he's not
happy.

one more thing, he's an indoor cat - would letting him out
help at all?