Delicate question re kneading

"Christina Websell" wrote in
:


"BfloPolska" wrote in message
.
.. On Jan 11, 12:28 pm, "Christina Websell"
wrote:
Boyfriend has always kneaded when he gets on my knee, it seems
essential to
him before he can settle down.

But I like to think Boyfie loves his Mama, like Stosh loves me!

Blessed be,
Baha
------
Yes, he loves me, I love him but I'd prefer him not to, er, pleasure
himself on my knee.
So what to do?
Knock him off when he does it, or what? Seems harsh as I spent years
getting him brave enough to get on my knee at all.
Tweed

I'd let him continue, or try a little noise distraction. After all he
seems to enjoy what he's doing. Life is too short and pleasures are hard
to come by. If it harms no one, let it be...

Bobble

It's not that much of a problem, Lee, that he needs to see a behaviourist, I
just wondered about how common it was.
I think perhaps he loves me too much.
I will not tell him off about it, but neither will I encourage him. I don't
mind him kneading but when he goes a bit too far I will put him off my knee.


"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
his behavoir when added up seems to be security driven, since kfc has gone
on he is demanding of you and displaying tom like actions, since he is
snipped we know that isn't it, since you feed him well and vet him his
general health isn't it so i am only left with he is insecure ... not sure
what you can do about it, but i think if it were me i might have a consult
with a behavoirist, Lee

--
Have a wonderful day

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...
Boyfriend has always kneaded when he gets on my knee, it seems essential
to him before he can settle down.
However, in the past few months his demeanour has changed whilst he's
doing it. His ears went slightly back and a strange far-away look came
into his eyes which were slightly slitted. I began to think it might be
sexual.

Now when he kneads he presses his nether regions down into my lap and by
the motion of his hips...well, my question is - do cats masturbate?

Tweed

Bobble wrote:

Yes, he loves me, I love him but I'd prefer him not to, er, pleasure
himself on my knee.
So what to do?
Knock him off when he does it, or what? Seems harsh as I spent years
getting him brave enough to get on my knee at all.
Tweed

I'd let him continue, or try a little noise distraction. After all he
seems to enjoy what he's doing. Life is too short and pleasures are hard
to come by. If it harms no one, let it be...

I'd have to agree with this. As you said, he only does this while getting
ready to settle down, so it's not like it goes on forever. And it would be
a shame to destroy what you worked so hard to achieve in getting him to
feel comfortable on your lap to begin with.

However, if this really is dominance behavior and his personality and
general attitude toward you start to change in other ways, then I'd be
concerned and I might want to put a stop to any behaviors that reinforce
his sense of dominance over you. Otherwise, as Bobble says, what's the
harm?

Joyce

--
"No." -- Rosa Parks

Christina Websell wrote:
However, in the past few months his demeanour has changed whilst he's
doing it. His ears went slightly back and a strange far-away look came
into his eyes which were slightly slitted. I began to think it might be
sexual.

Now when he kneads he presses his nether regions down into my lap and by
the motion of his hips...well, my question is - do cats masturbate?

In a word...yes. Apparently.

Fearless Fosdick (neutered boycat, 19 this coming April) has, for
the past 16 years, done this to my DH's left armpit whenever DH
lies down to sleep. It must be his LEFT armpit, and nowhere else,
and only when DH is on his back. We have NO idea what that cat
is thinking. Every night, nearly. He seems to enjoy himself,
though, and it seems to do no harm to anyone or anything...except
sometimes DH is a bit annoyed by the process.

I don't think it's a dominance thing in this case, as Fearless is
a very submissive cat with the other cats and has very rarely
challenged anyone. Fearless just isn't a cat to challenge
anyone's dominnance, especially the guy that brings the gooshy food.

Funny story, back when DH and his Louie, a *large* but very sweet
Maine Coon, first moved in....we introduced my cats one at a time
to Louie, and most of them went all puffy and cranky on first
sight of this large, calm, fluffy ginger thing.

Fearless walked into the room, took one look at Louie, and
promptly squashed himself flat into the floor making his body as
small as possible, eyes squeezed tightly shut. You could nearly
hear him thinking: "I don't know what you are or who you are but
YOU WIN. OK?? OK?? YOU WIN." Later they got to be good friends
and play buddies.

Deborah
slave to the Magnificent Seven

--

"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the
most shocking and inhumane."-Martin Luther King, Jr.

wrote in message
...
Bobble wrote:

Yes, he loves me, I love him but I'd prefer him not to, er, pleasure
himself on my knee.
So what to do?
Knock him off when he does it, or what? Seems harsh as I spent years
getting him brave enough to get on my knee at all.
Tweed

I'd let him continue, or try a little noise distraction. After all he
seems to enjoy what he's doing. Life is too short and pleasures are
hard
to come by. If it harms no one, let it be...

I'd have to agree with this. As you said, he only does this while getting
ready to settle down, so it's not like it goes on forever. And it would be
a shame to destroy what you worked so hard to achieve in getting him to
feel comfortable on your lap to begin with.

However, if this really is dominance behavior and his personality and
general attitude toward you start to change in other ways, then I'd be
concerned and I might want to put a stop to any behaviors that reinforce
his sense of dominance over you. Otherwise, as Bobble says, what's the
harm?


I tend to agree with Bobble & yourself.
Boyfie is not a cat who is trying to be dominant over me, I think it's more
of a comfort thing and if makes him happy (which it does) why not just let
him do it?
I'm not about to knock him off my lap after all this time trying to get him
on there. Years, literally years before he dared to do that.

Tweed

"Phoenix" wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:
However, in the past few months his demeanour has changed whilst he's
doing it. His ears went slightly back and a strange far-away look came
into his eyes which were slightly slitted. I began to think it might be
sexual.

Now when he kneads he presses his nether regions down into my lap and by
the motion of his hips...well, my question is - do cats masturbate?

In a word...yes. Apparently.

Fearless Fosdick (neutered boycat, 19 this coming April) has, for the past
16 years, done this to my DH's left armpit whenever DH lies down to sleep.
It must be his LEFT armpit, and nowhere else, and only when DH is on his
back. We have NO idea what that cat is thinking. Every night, nearly. He
seems to enjoy himself, though, and it seems to do no harm to anyone or
anything...except sometimes DH is a bit annoyed by the process.

I don't think it's a dominance thing in this case, as Fearless is a very
submissive cat with the other cats and has very rarely challenged anyone.
Fearless just isn't a cat to challenge anyone's dominance, especially the
guy that brings the gooshy food.



Oh, good, I'm glad it isn't just Boyfie!
Am I the first person to raise this issue?
Probably. Blame my job, I have no shame about difficult subjects.
Tweed

Phoenix wrote:

Funny story, back when DH and his Louie, a *large* but very sweet
Maine Coon, first moved in....we introduced my cats one at a time
to Louie, and most of them went all puffy and cranky on first
sight of this large, calm, fluffy ginger thing.

Fearless walked into the room, took one look at Louie, and
promptly squashed himself flat into the floor making his body as
small as possible, eyes squeezed tightly shut. You could nearly
hear him thinking: "I don't know what you are or who you are but
YOU WIN. OK?? OK?? YOU WIN."

Is this how he got the name "Fearless"?

Joyce

--
After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then reimagine
the world. -- Mary Oliver

Christina Websell wrote:


wrote in message
...
Bobble wrote:

Yes, he loves me, I love him but I'd prefer him not to, er, pleasure
himself on my knee.
So what to do?
Knock him off when he does it, or what? Seems harsh as I spent years
getting him brave enough to get on my knee at all.
Tweed

I'd let him continue, or try a little noise distraction. After all he
seems to enjoy what he's doing. Life is too short and pleasures are
hard
to come by. If it harms no one, let it be...

I'd have to agree with this. As you said, he only does this while getting
ready to settle down, so it's not like it goes on forever. And it would be
a shame to destroy what you worked so hard to achieve in getting him to
feel comfortable on your lap to begin with.

However, if this really is dominance behavior and his personality and
general attitude toward you start to change in other ways, then I'd be
concerned and I might want to put a stop to any behaviors that reinforce
his sense of dominance over you. Otherwise, as Bobble says, what's the
harm?


I tend to agree with Bobble & yourself.
Boyfie is not a cat who is trying to be dominant over me, I think it's more
of a comfort thing and if makes him happy (which it does) why not just let
him do it?
I'm not about to knock him off my lap after all this time trying to get him
on there. Years, literally years before he dared to do that.

At least, given Boyfie's response to company coming over, you won't ever
have to deal with the (potentially) embarrassing situation of him doing
it in front of them.

Joyce

--
After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then reimagine
the world. -- Mary Oliver

In article ,
"Christina Websell" wrote:

Now when he kneads he presses his nether regions down into my lap and by the
motion of his hips...well, my question is - do cats masturbate?

Worry about it when you find a wet spot.

Also, talk to the vet. Could be something wrong with his urinary system
or with his reproductive system. If he's still a complete tom,
testicular cancer is a possibility even in cats (and if not, of course,
not).

Baird

--
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice
there is. -Yogi Berra

wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
Fearless walked into the room, took one look at Louie, and
promptly squashed himself flat into the floor making his body as
small as possible, eyes squeezed tightly shut. You could nearly
hear him thinking: "I don't know what you are or who you are but
YOU WIN. OK?? OK?? YOU WIN."

Is this how he got the name "Fearless"?

No...but we did start wondering whether we should rename him!

He got his name when, having brought him home as an 8-week kitten
about a week before, I watched him trying to climb
something...drapes, fireplace, I don't remember. And I said out
loud to him "You are just FEARLESS, aren't you??"

And then realized that he had named himself.

Deborah
slave to the Magnificent Seven

--

"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the
most shocking and inhumane."-Martin Luther King, Jr.