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#1
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Amber's kittens
I deliberately didn't post an update, but I'm madder now than then,
and that's saying something. Amber and 4 out of five of her kittens ended up in the local no-kill. The tortie was kept. She's finally getting spayed tomorrow. A guy at work would have taken the tortie and the orange boy, but NOOOoooo. The tortie had to be kept. For the children. Well, the tortie, Patches, 4.5 months now, has been getting out of the house for the last month, month and a half. She's a baby! At least she'll be spayed tomorrow, so that's something. Just had a conversation with my sister who told me "how hard it is to keep a kitten inside that is too fast when she wants out" and I'm just fuming and upset. I have had cats and kittens that came from the outdoors and I can keep them in, how hard is it to keep in a kitten that never even experienced the outdoors ever? More upsetting than the fact that the tortie and the orange kitten could have had a home together except that my sister wanted to keep the tortie but get rid of the mom and the other kittens, is that she never gave me the opportunity to take them all and find homes before she carted them all off to the shelter. And now, she calls me (we haven't talked since that happened) and the subject goes to the kitten getting out and I tell her how I can keep in my cats who HAVE been outdoor cats and she yells at me to stop judging her, asks me if I'd like to take her and see if I can keep her in, I say "Yes, I will take her" and she says no way, and hangs up on me. -- Cheryl |
#2
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Amber's kittens
Cheryl wrote: I deliberately didn't post an update, but I'm madder now than then, and that's saying something. Amber and 4 out of five of her kittens ended up in the local no-kill. The tortie was kept. She's finally getting spayed tomorrow. A guy at work would have taken the tortie and the orange boy, but NOOOoooo. The tortie had to be kept. For the children. Well, the tortie, Patches, 4.5 months now, has been getting out of the house for the last month, month and a half. She's a baby! At least she'll be spayed tomorrow, so that's something. Just had a conversation with my sister who told me "how hard it is to keep a kitten inside that is too fast when she wants out" and I'm just fuming and upset. I have had cats and kittens that came from the outdoors and I can keep them in, how hard is it to keep in a kitten that never even experienced the outdoors ever? More upsetting than the fact that the tortie and the orange kitten could have had a home together except that my sister wanted to keep the tortie but get rid of the mom and the other kittens, is that she never gave me the opportunity to take them all and find homes before she carted them all off to the shelter. And now, she calls me (we haven't talked since that happened) and the subject goes to the kitten getting out and I tell her how I can keep in my cats who HAVE been outdoor cats and she yells at me to stop judging her, asks me if I'd like to take her and see if I can keep her in, I say "Yes, I will take her" and she says no way, and hangs up on me. -- Cheryl Aww, Cheryl, I'm so sorry. Believe me, I know how frustrated you are. My SIL is practically a collector. Her cats are always in dire need of vetting because she has too many and can't take care of them all. She bad-mouths the Humane Society too and tells people that "they'll just kill them." Well, sometimes cats need to be killed. Sometimes they are diseased and suffering and keeping them and letting them roam is not only abusive it is irresponsible. /She is infecting the whole neighborhood with FIP, FeLV, but she doesn't see it that way. Just because you can feed a cat and let it roam all over is NOT "rescue." Ooo. I didn't mean to get on a soapbox. Anyhoo. Cheryl, some people you can't change and it will only make you crazy to try. You do what you can. That's all you can do. Hope the kitties all make out okay. Sherry |
#3
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Amber's kittens
On Sun 17 Sep 2006 06:49:16p, wrote in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
roups.com): Anyhoo. Cheryl, some people you can't change and it will only make you crazy to try. You do what you can. That's all you can do. Hope the kitties all make out okay. For years and years I tell myself I can't change her. That doesn't help the innocent lives she endangers. She's already had one hit by a car in front of her house and her two current boys have disappeared for weeks at a time. The last one in the dead of winter, and he's old. She blowed it off saying he ran off to die. Well, he's still alive and kicking after he came home skinny. Will not go anywhere near the door now, so something scared him. Amber got pregnant from an escape so there's apparently free-roaming toms. You know what bugs me Sherry? That she knows how I feel about animals and she calls me out of the blue to tell me these things. She's sadistic. I fear for her young twins to grow up with that attitude as a role model. -- Cheryl |
#4
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Amber's kittens
On Sun, 17 Sep 2006 22:12:38 +0000, Cheryl wrote:
I deliberately didn't post an update, but I'm madder now than then, and that's saying something. Amber and 4 out of five of her kittens ended up in the local no-kill. The tortie was kept. She's finally getting spayed tomorrow. A guy at work would have taken the tortie and the orange boy, but NOOOoooo. The tortie had to be kept. For the children. Well, the tortie, Patches, 4.5 months now, has been getting out of the house for the last month, month and a half. She's a baby! At least she'll be spayed tomorrow, so that's something. Just had a conversation with my sister who told me "how hard it is to keep a kitten inside that is too fast when she wants out" and I'm just fuming and upset. I have had cats and kittens that came from the outdoors and I can keep them in, how hard is it to keep in a kitten that never even experienced the outdoors ever? More upsetting than the fact that the tortie and the orange kitten could have had a home together except that my sister wanted to keep the tortie but get rid of the mom and the other kittens, is that she never gave me the opportunity to take them all and find homes before she carted them all off to the shelter. And now, she calls me (we haven't talked since that happened) and the subject goes to the kitten getting out and I tell her how I can keep in my cats who HAVE been outdoor cats and she yells at me to stop judging her, asks me if I'd like to take her and see if I can keep her in, I say "Yes, I will take her" and she says no way, and hangs up on me. You can choose your friends, but you are stuck with your relatives. |
#5
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Amber's kittens
Cheryl wrote: Just had a conversation with my sister who told me "how hard it is to keep a kitten inside that is too fast when she wants out" and I'm just fuming and upset. I have had cats and kittens that came from the outdoors and I can keep them in, how hard is it to keep in a kitten that never even experienced the outdoors ever? You'd be surprised! They can be VERY fast, VERY clever, and VERY determined! (Also for a kitten, often the "unknown" holds no fears, so it will not proceed on an initial foray as cautiously as an adult cat might.) Fortunately I live in a building with a hallway, rather than direct access to the outdoors, but despite carrying a squirt-bottle back and forth to my door, and opening the door with one hand while holding the bottle at the ready in the other, I have more than once had to chase Melisande up four flights of stairs to the roof door! (Once to find that door actually open, although she was cautious enough about that so I caught her before she ventured out onto the roof.) If my apartment door opened directly to the outside, once past me and the squirt bottle, she'd have often been out of sight long before I got myself turned around! |
#6
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Amber's kittens
Cheryl wrote:
I deliberately didn't post an update, but I'm madder now than then, and that's saying something. I don't blame you for being mad but it sounds like you have done the best you could for those kittens. Purrs that they find nice homes. -- Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/ Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki |
#7
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Amber's kittens
mlbriggs wrote:
On Sun, 17 Sep 2006 22:12:38 +0000, Cheryl wrote: I deliberately didn't post an update, but I'm madder now than then, and that's saying something. Amber and 4 out of five of her kittens ended up in the local no-kill. The tortie was kept. She's finally getting spayed tomorrow. A guy at work would have taken the tortie and the orange boy, but NOOOoooo. The tortie had to be kept. For the children. snip More upsetting than the fact that the tortie and the orange kitten could have had a home together except that my sister wanted to keep the tortie but get rid of the mom and the other kittens, is that she never gave me the opportunity to take them all and find homes before she carted them all off to the shelter. And now, she calls me (we haven't talked since that happened) and the subject goes to the kitten getting out and I tell her how I can keep in my cats who HAVE been outdoor cats and she yells at me to stop judging her, asks me if I'd like to take her and see if I can keep her in, I say "Yes, I will take her" and she says no way, and hangs up on me. You can choose your friends, but you are stuck with your relatives. No you're not. You can pick and choose how much or how little you will have to do with your relatives just as well as you can with friends, as long as you are willing to put up with the consequences. The main problem is that we feel constrained to maintain a blood relationship because society kind of looks down on us if we don't. But the plain fact of the matter is that our kin can cause more tears and bloodshed than any strangers we might meet in a dark alley, and if they are worse than usual, there is no reason not to remove yourself and your family from harm (be it physical, mental or emotional), even if only by refusing to pick up the phone. Now the ideal is if you can live three thousand miles away from them, or put an ocean between you, and it isn't the absurd suggestion that it sounds. I know of whole families through three generations that do that to keep sane. Mine included. If it works, I don't knock it. When you are that far away, the occasional phone call is harmless, and not much more is really expected of you, or at least long times between visits are somewhat understood. Not phoning works for me. Only answering e-mails and letters (which are few enough to begin with) rather than initiating contact also helps. So does the three thousand miles. I won't have my blood and kin destroy, by influence, the hard work we are doing to raise a strong, value-respecting, emotionally secure family. Sound cold-blooded, perhaps? Try living through what I have lived through. I won't go into it, this is a pet group, not a trauma support group, but you can tell I have strong feelings on the topic. I sympathise with Cheryl 100% because I know just how difficult it is to describe the pathologic way in which our family members can and do push our buttons, sometimes on account of grudges and resentments built up over years from things which, in hindsight, were extremely juvenile. Cheryl, try haunting the house and grab the kitten next time she wanders! Maybe it's time you pushed *her* buttons. On the other hand, if the cold war is on, then she will never even find out where the kitten disappeared to, and start telling every one she ran off to die. --tension |
#8
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Amber's kittens
Sounds like this is something she can hold over you. She knows it upsets
you and she has the upper hand. Okay, that's just a pop-psychology guess. That is very crummy, what she's doing and that she's got to tell you. Any chance to write her a heart-felt letter about it? I hope the cats found good homes. Rhonda Cheryl wrote: You know what bugs me Sherry? That she knows how I feel about animals and she calls me out of the blue to tell me these things. She's sadistic. I fear for her young twins to grow up with that attitude as a role model. |
#9
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Amber's kittens
On Sun, 17 Sep 2006 23:47:20 -0700, tension_on_the_wire wrote:
mlbriggs wrote: On Sun, 17 Sep 2006 22:12:38 +0000, Cheryl wrote: I deliberately didn't post an update, but I'm madder now than then, and that's saying something. Amber and 4 out of five of her kittens ended up in the local no-kill. The tortie was kept. She's finally getting spayed tomorrow. A guy at work would have taken the tortie and the orange boy, but NOOOoooo. The tortie had to be kept. For the children. snip More upsetting than the fact that the tortie and the orange kitten could have had a home together except that my sister wanted to keep the tortie but get rid of the mom and the other kittens, is that she never gave me the opportunity to take them all and find homes before she carted them all off to the shelter. And now, she calls me (we haven't talked since that happened) and the subject goes to the kitten getting out and I tell her how I can keep in my cats who HAVE been outdoor cats and she yells at me to stop judging her, asks me if I'd like to take her and see if I can keep her in, I say "Yes, I will take her" and she says no way, and hangs up on me. You can choose your friends, but you are stuck with your relatives. No you're not. You can pick and choose how much or how little you will have to do with your relatives just as well as you can with friends, as long as you are willing to put up with the consequences. The main problem is that we feel constrained to maintain a blood relationship because society kind of looks down on us if we don't. But the plain fact of the matter is that our kin can cause more tears and bloodshed than any strangers we might meet in a dark alley, and if they are worse than usual, there is no reason not to remove yourself and your family from harm (be it physical, mental or emotional), even if only by refusing to pick up the phone. Now the ideal is if you can live three thousand miles away from them, or put an ocean between you, and it isn't the absurd suggestion that it sounds. I know of whole families through three generations that do that to keep sane. Mine included. If it works, I don't knock it. When you are that far away, the occasional phone call is harmless, and not much more is really expected of you, or at least long times between visits are somewhat understood. Not phoning works for me. Only answering e-mails and letters (which are few enough to begin with) rather than initiating contact also helps. So does the three thousand miles. I won't have my blood and kin destroy, by influence, the hard work we are doing to raise a strong, value-respecting, emotionally secure family. Sound cold-blooded, perhaps? Try living through what I have lived through. I won't go into it, this is a pet group, not a trauma support group, but you can tell I have strong feelings on the topic. I sympathise with Cheryl 100% because I know just how difficult it is to describe the pathologic way in which our family members can and do push our buttons, sometimes on account of grudges and resentments built up over years from things which, in hindsight, were extremely juvenile. Cheryl, try haunting the house and grab the kitten next time she wanders! Maybe it's time you pushed *her* buttons. On the other hand, if the cold war is on, then she will never even find out where the kitten disappeared to, and start telling every one she ran off to die. --tension I like your style. MLB |
#10
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Amber's kittens
mlbriggs wrote: Cheryl, try haunting the house and grab the kitten next time she wanders! Maybe it's time you pushed *her* buttons. On the other hand, if the cold war is on, then she will never even find out where the kitten disappeared to, and start telling every one she ran off to die. --tension I like your style. MLB Heheh. Or rather, muaahahahaha. Most of the time I am Dr. Jekyll, but certain topics tend to bring out my Mr. Hyde. (learned it from my cats, you know) --tension |
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