Reading The Newsgroup With Mommy - Re-post

Reading the Newsgroup With Mommy
Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 5-month-old female kitten
Mommy - MUCH older female human

Mommy decides to sit down at her desk and read her favorite newsgroup,
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes. Sammy runs into the room to see what Mommy is
doing. Mommy looks down at Sammy and wonders how Sammy is going to make
Mommy's life difficult today, then turns on her computer and starts to enter
her password to log in. Sammy jumps on the keyboard typing
"mmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,", then steps on the "Enter" key. The computer tells
Mommy it can't log her in because her password is incorrect. Mommy murmurs
something under her breath, gives Sammy a dirty look, and begins to retype
her password. Sammy, who has jumped from the keyboard on its holder to the
desktop, reaches down to play with Mommy's moving fingers. Mommy jerks her
bloody fingers away from Sammy's claws and inadvertently hits the "Enter"
key. The computer tells Mommy it can't log her in because her password is
incorrect. Mommy sighs, lifts Sammy off of her desk, and gently places Sammy
of her office floor.

Mommy, eying Sammy's twitching butt, retypes her password really, really
fast before Sammy can jump onto her keyboard again. Mommy typed a bit too
fast, causing a typo to occur, and the computer tells Mommy it can't log her
in because her password is incorrect. Mommy grits her teeth, calls the
computer a nasty name, then begins to type in her password again. Noticing
movement in the corner of her eye, Mommy turns just in time to catch Sammy
in mid-leap, sighs, and gently places Sammy on her office floor. Mommy
forgot where she was in the typing of her password so has to backspace to
restart. Mommy knows that she will have only one more chance to type in her
correct password or the computer will lock her out for 20 minutes before she
can try again. In order to outsmart Sammy, Mommy wiggles her foot around on
the floor enticingly in order to distract Sammy while she types in her
password. Sammy pounces on said foot and sinks her teeth into Mommy's ankle.
Mommy says a very bad word, her entire body jerks, and she inadvertently
hits the "Enter" key before she has completed typing her password. The
computer tells Mommy that it can't log her in because her password is
incorrect and that she has been locked out of her computer for the next
twenty minutes. Mommy sighs, gives Sammy a dirty look, and then heads for
the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Twenty-one minutes later Mommy heads back to her office with a cup of
coffee, a ham sandwich, and Sammy hot on her trail. Mommy considers locking
Sammy out of her office but decides that the sound of a kitten howling at
the top of her lungs would be distracting and detract from the pleasure of
reading her favorite newsgroup. Mommy can, however, put up with the howling
long enough to correctly type in her password and wonders to herself why she
didn't think of this twenty-two minutes ago (ah, it must have been the lack
of caffeine!). Mommy opens the door to allow Sammy entrance to the office.
Sammy starts to give Mommy a dirty look, but is distracted by the smell of a
ham sandwich. Following her nose, Sammy jumps up to the desktop.

Mommy has made the rookie mistake of cutting the ham sandwich into two
parts. She can not hold both halves of the sandwich and still have a hand
free to use her mouse to navigate the newsgroup. Choosing her base animal
urges over the aesthetic pleasure of reading the newsgroup, Mommy grabs up
both halves of her sandwich, one half in each hand, and holds them up out of
Sammy's reach. Sammy decides to climb Mommy's arm in order to reach the
delectable smell she has detected. Mommy jumps up with a yell and drops the
half of the sandwich which was being held in the hand attached to the arm
that was being used as a climbing post. Sammy, having felled her prey,
detaches her claws from Mommy's arm and jumps down to feast on her kill.
Mommy decides that the office floor (not to mention Sammy's litter
box-digging paws) is not sanitary enough for her to salvage her sandwich and
she lets Sammy keep her kill.

Mommy figures she now has enough time to read a few posts in peace while
Sammy gobbles up every last crumb of the sandwich half - ham, cheese,
mayonnaise, bread and all the trimmings including the sliced dill pickles
(after all, if this is Mommy's kill that was stolen it must be good,
right?). Now everybody, let's laugh at Mommy's naivety! Sammy devours the
sandwich in the time it takes Mommy to read just half of Rocky's
autobiography. Sammy then jumps up on Mommy's lap looking for the other half
of the kill. Mommy starts shoving her half of the sandwich into her mouth as
fast as she can until Mommy looks like a chipmunk with cheeks full of nuts.
Sammy shoves her nose into the tiny opening left between Mommy's lips and
tries to take the kill from Mommy's mouth. Mommy jerks her head back and
bangs her head on the high back of her desk chair. This causes a bit of
bread to become lodged in Mommy's throat causing Mommy to cough which in
turn causes bits of sandwich to be spewed across Mommy's desk and keyboard.
Sammy triumphantly pounces on and devours the bits of kill she has managed
to wrest from Mommy's fangs. Mommy chews up the tiny bit of sandwich she has
managed to wrest from Sammy's depredations and swallows - all the while
glaring at the feasting kitten.

Mommy debates whether or not to go to the kitchen for another sandwich,
looks down at her ample tummy, and decides that she should forgo further
sustenance. Mommy finally gets back to reading about Rocky's early life and
her eyes mist up thinking about this and the kindness Steve has shown to his
master. In the meantime, Sammy has finished off the last of the sandwich
bits from the keyboard and desktop and saunters over to Mommy's coffee cup
to see what other goodies Mommy has captured for herself. Sammy leans over
to sniff the coffee, misjudges her approach, and manages to snort coffee
into her tiny nostrils. Sammy immediately sneezed out the offending brew,
along with kitten boogers, back into Mommy's coffee cup. Mommy looks over at
her coffee cup and wonders if it's worth the effort to get up and get a new
cup of coffee. Mommy shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee, kitten boogers
and all, and sighs.

Mommy moves on to a note from Baha about Stosh which invokes the memory of
Archie Bunker, and Mommy smiles to herself at the mental picture this
creates. Then Mommy reads a note from Helen about how Waffles is learning
English and Mommy laughs out loud. The sound of Mommy laughing about
something other than Sammy's own cute self peaks Sammy's interest and Sammy
jumps on Mommy's lap, puts her paws on Mommy's chest, and licks Mommy on the
nose. Mommy is distracted by this blatant bid for attention and pauses in
her reading to give Sammy cuddles and scritches. Sammy bites Mommy's hand
and Mommy says bad words and gently places Sammy on her office floor.

Mommy goes on to read Oliver T. Fine's note about the invasion of his home
by the red dot greebles. Mommy laughs really hard and tells Sammy about
Oliver's post. Sammy knows exactly what Oliver is referring to because Sammy
has the same problem at her house! Sammy asks Mommy to type a note back to
Oliver telling him her concern about a mass invasion. Mommy is laughing
while she types and Sammy ends the note by giving Mommy a dirty look.

Mommy goes on to read notes by Victor, Margaret, Helen, Sherry, Tweed, and
all the rest of the wonderful people who write to rpca. Mommy decides to
write a long story about how Demi found her forever home. Mommy has written
3 pages worth of poignant, moving, insightful, brilliant prose when Sammy
jumps up onto the keyboard and steps on the "Sleep" button. Mommy does not
know how to get her computer off of "Sleep" mode and tries button after
button on the keyboard to no avail. Mommy's voice is becoming louder and
louder and she is saying more and more bad words, but none of this makes her
computer come out of "Sleep" mode. Mommy gives Sammy a *really* dirty look
and leans over to press the "reset" key on her CPU to cold boot her computer
back on again. Mommy has lost all the beautiful words she has just written
about Demi and knows that she can never recapture the pathos of the lost
post. Sammy grins evilly at Mommy knowing that Mommy will now post something
about *Sammy* instead of that dumb old Demi-cat! Sammy, as usual, is
correct!

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.net/rpcablog/

Email: L(dot)T(dot)Crews(at)comcast(dot)net

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Reading the Newsgroup With Mommy
Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 5-month-old female kitten
Mommy - MUCH older female human

Mommy decides to sit down at her desk and read her favorite newsgroup,
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes. Sammy runs into the room to see what Mommy is
doing. Mommy looks down at Sammy and wonders how Sammy is going to make
Mommy's life difficult today, then turns on her computer and starts to
enter her password to log in. Sammy jumps on the keyboard typing
"mmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,", then steps on the "Enter" key. The computer tells
Mommy it can't log her in because her password is incorrect. Mommy murmurs
something under her breath, gives Sammy a dirty look, and begins to retype
her password. Sammy, who has jumped from the keyboard on its holder to the
desktop, reaches down to play with Mommy's moving fingers. Mommy jerks her
bloody fingers away from Sammy's claws and inadvertently hits the "Enter"
key. The computer tells Mommy it can't log her in because her password is
incorrect. Mommy sighs, lifts Sammy off of her desk, and gently places
Sammy of her office floor.

Mommy, eying Sammy's twitching butt, retypes her password really, really
fast before Sammy can jump onto her keyboard again. Mommy typed a bit too
fast, causing a typo to occur, and the computer tells Mommy it can't log
her in because her password is incorrect. Mommy grits her teeth, calls the
computer a nasty name, then begins to type in her password again. Noticing
movement in the corner of her eye, Mommy turns just in time to catch Sammy
in mid-leap, sighs, and gently places Sammy on her office floor. Mommy
forgot where she was in the typing of her password so has to backspace to
restart. Mommy knows that she will have only one more chance to type in
her correct password or the computer will lock her out for 20 minutes
before she can try again. In order to outsmart Sammy, Mommy wiggles her
foot around on the floor enticingly in order to distract Sammy while she
types in her password. Sammy pounces on said foot and sinks her teeth into
Mommy's ankle. Mommy says a very bad word, her entire body jerks, and she
inadvertently hits the "Enter" key before she has completed typing her
password. The computer tells Mommy that it can't log her in because her
password is incorrect and that she has been locked out of her computer for
the next twenty minutes. Mommy sighs, gives Sammy a dirty look, and then
heads for the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Twenty-one minutes later Mommy heads back to her office with a cup of
coffee, a ham sandwich, and Sammy hot on her trail. Mommy considers
locking Sammy out of her office but decides that the sound of a kitten
howling at the top of her lungs would be distracting and detract from the
pleasure of reading her favorite newsgroup. Mommy can, however, put up
with the howling long enough to correctly type in her password and wonders
to herself why she didn't think of this twenty-two minutes ago (ah, it
must have been the lack of caffeine!). Mommy opens the door to allow Sammy
entrance to the office. Sammy starts to give Mommy a dirty look, but is
distracted by the smell of a ham sandwich. Following her nose, Sammy jumps
up to the desktop.

Mommy has made the rookie mistake of cutting the ham sandwich into two
parts. She can not hold both halves of the sandwich and still have a hand
free to use her mouse to navigate the newsgroup. Choosing her base animal
urges over the aesthetic pleasure of reading the newsgroup, Mommy grabs up
both halves of her sandwich, one half in each hand, and holds them up out
of Sammy's reach. Sammy decides to climb Mommy's arm in order to reach the
delectable smell she has detected. Mommy jumps up with a yell and drops
the half of the sandwich which was being held in the hand attached to the
arm that was being used as a climbing post. Sammy, having felled her prey,
detaches her claws from Mommy's arm and jumps down to feast on her kill.
Mommy decides that the office floor (not to mention Sammy's litter
box-digging paws) is not sanitary enough for her to salvage her sandwich
and she lets Sammy keep her kill.

Mommy figures she now has enough time to read a few posts in peace while
Sammy gobbles up every last crumb of the sandwich half - ham, cheese,
mayonnaise, bread and all the trimmings including the sliced dill pickles
(after all, if this is Mommy's kill that was stolen it must be good,
right?). Now everybody, let's laugh at Mommy's naivety! Sammy devours the
sandwich in the time it takes Mommy to read just half of Rocky's
autobiography. Sammy then jumps up on Mommy's lap looking for the other
half of the kill. Mommy starts shoving her half of the sandwich into her
mouth as fast as she can until Mommy looks like a chipmunk with cheeks
full of nuts. Sammy shoves her nose into the tiny opening left between
Mommy's lips and tries to take the kill from Mommy's mouth. Mommy jerks
her head back and bangs her head on the high back of her desk chair. This
causes a bit of bread to become lodged in Mommy's throat causing Mommy to
cough which in turn causes bits of sandwich to be spewed across Mommy's
desk and keyboard. Sammy triumphantly pounces on and devours the bits of
kill she has managed to wrest from Mommy's fangs. Mommy chews up the tiny
bit of sandwich she has managed to wrest from Sammy's depredations and
swallows - all the while glaring at the feasting kitten.

Mommy debates whether or not to go to the kitchen for another sandwich,
looks down at her ample tummy, and decides that she should forgo further
sustenance. Mommy finally gets back to reading about Rocky's early life
and her eyes mist up thinking about this and the kindness Steve has shown
to his master. In the meantime, Sammy has finished off the last of the
sandwich bits from the keyboard and desktop and saunters over to Mommy's
coffee cup to see what other goodies Mommy has captured for herself. Sammy
leans over to sniff the coffee, misjudges her approach, and manages to
snort coffee into her tiny nostrils. Sammy immediately sneezed out the
offending brew, along with kitten boogers, back into Mommy's coffee cup.
Mommy looks over at her coffee cup and wonders if it's worth the effort to
get up and get a new cup of coffee. Mommy shrugs and takes a sip of her
coffee, kitten boogers and all, and sighs.

Mommy moves on to a note from Baha about Stosh which invokes the memory of
Archie Bunker, and Mommy smiles to herself at the mental picture this
creates. Then Mommy reads a note from Helen about how Waffles is learning
English and Mommy laughs out loud. The sound of Mommy laughing about
something other than Sammy's own cute self peaks Sammy's interest and
Sammy jumps on Mommy's lap, puts her paws on Mommy's chest, and licks
Mommy on the nose. Mommy is distracted by this blatant bid for attention
and pauses in her reading to give Sammy cuddles and scritches. Sammy bites
Mommy's hand and Mommy says bad words and gently places Sammy on her
office floor.

Mommy goes on to read Oliver T. Fine's note about the invasion of his home
by the red dot greebles. Mommy laughs really hard and tells Sammy about
Oliver's post. Sammy knows exactly what Oliver is referring to because
Sammy has the same problem at her house! Sammy asks Mommy to type a note
back to Oliver telling him her concern about a mass invasion. Mommy is
laughing while she types and Sammy ends the note by giving Mommy a dirty
look.

Mommy goes on to read notes by Victor, Margaret, Helen, Sherry, Tweed, and
all the rest of the wonderful people who write to rpca. Mommy decides to
write a long story about how Demi found her forever home. Mommy has
written 3 pages worth of poignant, moving, insightful, brilliant prose
when Sammy jumps up onto the keyboard and steps on the "Sleep" button.
Mommy does not know how to get her computer off of "Sleep" mode and tries
button after button on the keyboard to no avail. Mommy's voice is becoming
louder and louder and she is saying more and more bad words, but none of
this makes her computer come out of "Sleep" mode. Mommy gives Sammy a
*really* dirty look and leans over to press the "reset" key on her CPU to
cold boot her computer back on again. Mommy has lost all the beautiful
words she has just written about Demi and knows that she can never
recapture the pathos of the lost post. Sammy grins evilly at Mommy knowing
that Mommy will now post something about *Sammy* instead of that dumb old
Demi-cat! Sammy, as usual, is correct!

--
Hugs,



I joined this group in order to learn about cats, because my wife and I want
to adopt two cats, and will be visiting yet another shelter tomorrow. I was
warmly welcomed by everyone, including (especially) Catnipped, and in a
short week learned a great deal about cats, food, litterboxes, and all the
baggage that cats seem to bring with them.

Now comes this story. This is supposed to make me WANT a cat? Or is it some
kind of reverse psychology?

:-)

Jay

PS -- More to the point, really nice story.

Sammy was, well, "special"! ; She was the most wicked little kitten since
Bandit (my RB cat) and Nocturne (who owns 'Enfilade', who no longer posts
here). Some exaggeration was, of course, added to the "...With Mommy"
stories to enhance the humor, but the basic details did occur - she was a
little terror as a kitten. Which makes your decision to adopt adult cats
even more wise. ;

This is the first time I've been brave enough to re-post these tales since
she went to the Bridge so unexpectedly. Old friends here encouraged me to
do so as a form of grief therapy and it does help to remember her like this.

You see, despite her wickedness, she was my "heart cat" and I would give
every drop of blood she caused all over again if I could have her back.

If you missed the first three reposted stories, you can find them all he
http://www.possibleplaces.com/CatNipped/Stories.asp. But beware, there are
LOTS of stories about Sammy there - her exploits were legendary!! ;

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.net/rpcablog/

Email: L(dot)T(dot)Crews(at)comcast(dot)net


"J J Levin" wrote in message
...

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Reading the Newsgroup With Mommy
Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 5-month-old female kitten
Mommy - MUCH older female human

Mommy decides to sit down at her desk and read her favorite newsgroup,
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes. Sammy runs into the room to see what Mommy is
doing. Mommy looks down at Sammy and wonders how Sammy is going to make
Mommy's life difficult today, then turns on her computer and starts to
enter her password to log in. Sammy jumps on the keyboard typing
"mmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,", then steps on the "Enter" key. The computer tells
Mommy it can't log her in because her password is incorrect. Mommy
murmurs something under her breath, gives Sammy a dirty look, and begins
to retype her password. Sammy, who has jumped from the keyboard on its
holder to the desktop, reaches down to play with Mommy's moving fingers.
Mommy jerks her bloody fingers away from Sammy's claws and inadvertently
hits the "Enter" key. The computer tells Mommy it can't log her in
because her password is incorrect. Mommy sighs, lifts Sammy off of her
desk, and gently places Sammy of her office floor.

Mommy, eying Sammy's twitching butt, retypes her password really, really
fast before Sammy can jump onto her keyboard again. Mommy typed a bit too
fast, causing a typo to occur, and the computer tells Mommy it can't log
her in because her password is incorrect. Mommy grits her teeth, calls
the computer a nasty name, then begins to type in her password again.
Noticing movement in the corner of her eye, Mommy turns just in time to
catch Sammy in mid-leap, sighs, and gently places Sammy on her office
floor. Mommy forgot where she was in the typing of her password so has to
backspace to restart. Mommy knows that she will have only one more chance
to type in her correct password or the computer will lock her out for 20
minutes before she can try again. In order to outsmart Sammy, Mommy
wiggles her foot around on the floor enticingly in order to distract
Sammy while she types in her password. Sammy pounces on said foot and
sinks her teeth into Mommy's ankle. Mommy says a very bad word, her
entire body jerks, and she inadvertently hits the "Enter" key before she
has completed typing her password. The computer tells Mommy that it can't
log her in because her password is incorrect and that she has been locked
out of her computer for the next twenty minutes. Mommy sighs, gives Sammy
a dirty look, and then heads for the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Twenty-one minutes later Mommy heads back to her office with a cup of
coffee, a ham sandwich, and Sammy hot on her trail. Mommy considers
locking Sammy out of her office but decides that the sound of a kitten
howling at the top of her lungs would be distracting and detract from the
pleasure of reading her favorite newsgroup. Mommy can, however, put up
with the howling long enough to correctly type in her password and
wonders to herself why she didn't think of this twenty-two minutes ago
(ah, it must have been the lack of caffeine!). Mommy opens the door to
allow Sammy entrance to the office. Sammy starts to give Mommy a dirty
look, but is distracted by the smell of a ham sandwich. Following her
nose, Sammy jumps up to the desktop.

Mommy has made the rookie mistake of cutting the ham sandwich into two
parts. She can not hold both halves of the sandwich and still have a hand
free to use her mouse to navigate the newsgroup. Choosing her base animal
urges over the aesthetic pleasure of reading the newsgroup, Mommy grabs
up both halves of her sandwich, one half in each hand, and holds them up
out of Sammy's reach. Sammy decides to climb Mommy's arm in order to
reach the delectable smell she has detected. Mommy jumps up with a yell
and drops the half of the sandwich which was being held in the hand
attached to the arm that was being used as a climbing post. Sammy, having
felled her prey, detaches her claws from Mommy's arm and jumps down to
feast on her kill. Mommy decides that the office floor (not to mention
Sammy's litter box-digging paws) is not sanitary enough for her to
salvage her sandwich and she lets Sammy keep her kill.

Mommy figures she now has enough time to read a few posts in peace while
Sammy gobbles up every last crumb of the sandwich half - ham, cheese,
mayonnaise, bread and all the trimmings including the sliced dill pickles
(after all, if this is Mommy's kill that was stolen it must be good,
right?). Now everybody, let's laugh at Mommy's naivety! Sammy devours the
sandwich in the time it takes Mommy to read just half of Rocky's
autobiography. Sammy then jumps up on Mommy's lap looking for the other
half of the kill. Mommy starts shoving her half of the sandwich into her
mouth as fast as she can until Mommy looks like a chipmunk with cheeks
full of nuts. Sammy shoves her nose into the tiny opening left between
Mommy's lips and tries to take the kill from Mommy's mouth. Mommy jerks
her head back and bangs her head on the high back of her desk chair. This
causes a bit of bread to become lodged in Mommy's throat causing Mommy to
cough which in turn causes bits of sandwich to be spewed across Mommy's
desk and keyboard. Sammy triumphantly pounces on and devours the bits of
kill she has managed to wrest from Mommy's fangs. Mommy chews up the tiny
bit of sandwich she has managed to wrest from Sammy's depredations and
swallows - all the while glaring at the feasting kitten.

Mommy debates whether or not to go to the kitchen for another sandwich,
looks down at her ample tummy, and decides that she should forgo further
sustenance. Mommy finally gets back to reading about Rocky's early life
and her eyes mist up thinking about this and the kindness Steve has shown
to his master. In the meantime, Sammy has finished off the last of the
sandwich bits from the keyboard and desktop and saunters over to Mommy's
coffee cup to see what other goodies Mommy has captured for herself.
Sammy leans over to sniff the coffee, misjudges her approach, and manages
to snort coffee into her tiny nostrils. Sammy immediately sneezed out the
offending brew, along with kitten boogers, back into Mommy's coffee cup.
Mommy looks over at her coffee cup and wonders if it's worth the effort
to get up and get a new cup of coffee. Mommy shrugs and takes a sip of
her coffee, kitten boogers and all, and sighs.

Mommy moves on to a note from Baha about Stosh which invokes the memory
of Archie Bunker, and Mommy smiles to herself at the mental picture this
creates. Then Mommy reads a note from Helen about how Waffles is learning
English and Mommy laughs out loud. The sound of Mommy laughing about
something other than Sammy's own cute self peaks Sammy's interest and
Sammy jumps on Mommy's lap, puts her paws on Mommy's chest, and licks
Mommy on the nose. Mommy is distracted by this blatant bid for attention
and pauses in her reading to give Sammy cuddles and scritches. Sammy
bites Mommy's hand and Mommy says bad words and gently places Sammy on
her office floor.

Mommy goes on to read Oliver T. Fine's note about the invasion of his
home by the red dot greebles. Mommy laughs really hard and tells Sammy
about Oliver's post. Sammy knows exactly what Oliver is referring to
because Sammy has the same problem at her house! Sammy asks Mommy to type
a note back to Oliver telling him her concern about a mass invasion.
Mommy is laughing while she types and Sammy ends the note by giving Mommy
a dirty look.

Mommy goes on to read notes by Victor, Margaret, Helen, Sherry, Tweed,
and all the rest of the wonderful people who write to rpca. Mommy decides
to write a long story about how Demi found her forever home. Mommy has
written 3 pages worth of poignant, moving, insightful, brilliant prose
when Sammy jumps up onto the keyboard and steps on the "Sleep" button.
Mommy does not know how to get her computer off of "Sleep" mode and tries
button after button on the keyboard to no avail. Mommy's voice is
becoming louder and louder and she is saying more and more bad words, but
none of this makes her computer come out of "Sleep" mode. Mommy gives
Sammy a *really* dirty look and leans over to press the "reset" key on
her CPU to cold boot her computer back on again. Mommy has lost all the
beautiful words she has just written about Demi and knows that she can
never recapture the pathos of the lost post. Sammy grins evilly at Mommy
knowing that Mommy will now post something about *Sammy* instead of that
dumb old Demi-cat! Sammy, as usual, is correct!

--
Hugs,



I joined this group in order to learn about cats, because my wife and I
want to adopt two cats, and will be visiting yet another shelter tomorrow.
I was warmly welcomed by everyone, including (especially) Catnipped, and
in a short week learned a great deal about cats, food, litterboxes, and
all the baggage that cats seem to bring with them.

Now comes this story. This is supposed to make me WANT a cat? Or is it
some kind of reverse psychology?

:-)

Jay

PS -- More to the point, really nice story.

Thanks --

Jay




"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Sammy was, well, "special"! ; She was the most wicked little kitten
since Bandit (my RB cat) and Nocturne (who owns 'Enfilade', who no longer
posts here). Some exaggeration was, of course, added to the "...With
Mommy" stories to enhance the humor, but the basic details did occur - she
was a little terror as a kitten. Which makes your decision to adopt adult
cats even more wise. ;

This is the first time I've been brave enough to re-post these tales since
she went to the Bridge so unexpectedly. Old friends here encouraged me to
do so as a form of grief therapy and it does help to remember her like
this.

You see, despite her wickedness, she was my "heart cat" and I would give
every drop of blood she caused all over again if I could have her back.

If you missed the first three reposted stories, you can find them all
he http://www.possibleplaces.com/CatNipped/Stories.asp. But beware,
there are LOTS of stories about Sammy there - her exploits were
legendary!! ;

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.net/rpcablog/

Email: L(dot)T(dot)Crews(at)comcast(dot)net


"J J Levin" wrote in message
...

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
Reading the Newsgroup With Mommy
Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 5-month-old female kitten
Mommy - MUCH older female human

Mommy decides to sit down at her desk and read her favorite newsgroup,
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes. Sammy runs into the room to see what Mommy is
doing. Mommy looks down at Sammy and wonders how Sammy is going to make
Mommy's life difficult today, then turns on her computer and starts to
enter her password to log in. Sammy jumps on the keyboard typing
"mmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,", then steps on the "Enter" key. The computer tells
Mommy it can't log her in because her password is incorrect. Mommy
murmurs something under her breath, gives Sammy a dirty look, and begins
to retype her password. Sammy, who has jumped from the keyboard on its
holder to the desktop, reaches down to play with Mommy's moving fingers.
Mommy jerks her bloody fingers away from Sammy's claws and inadvertently
hits the "Enter" key. The computer tells Mommy it can't log her in
because her password is incorrect. Mommy sighs, lifts Sammy off of her
desk, and gently places Sammy of her office floor.

Mommy, eying Sammy's twitching butt, retypes her password really, really
fast before Sammy can jump onto her keyboard again. Mommy typed a bit
too fast, causing a typo to occur, and the computer tells Mommy it can't
log her in because her password is incorrect. Mommy grits her teeth,
calls the computer a nasty name, then begins to type in her password
again. Noticing movement in the corner of her eye, Mommy turns just in
time to catch Sammy in mid-leap, sighs, and gently places Sammy on her
office floor. Mommy forgot where she was in the typing of her password
so has to backspace to restart. Mommy knows that she will have only one
more chance to type in her correct password or the computer will lock
her out for 20 minutes before she can try again. In order to outsmart
Sammy, Mommy wiggles her foot around on the floor enticingly in order to
distract Sammy while she types in her password. Sammy pounces on said
foot and sinks her teeth into Mommy's ankle. Mommy says a very bad word,
her entire body jerks, and she inadvertently hits the "Enter" key before
she has completed typing her password. The computer tells Mommy that it
can't log her in because her password is incorrect and that she has been
locked out of her computer for the next twenty minutes. Mommy sighs,
gives Sammy a dirty look, and then heads for the kitchen to make a pot
of coffee.

Twenty-one minutes later Mommy heads back to her office with a cup of
coffee, a ham sandwich, and Sammy hot on her trail. Mommy considers
locking Sammy out of her office but decides that the sound of a kitten
howling at the top of her lungs would be distracting and detract from
the pleasure of reading her favorite newsgroup. Mommy can, however, put
up with the howling long enough to correctly type in her password and
wonders to herself why she didn't think of this twenty-two minutes ago
(ah, it must have been the lack of caffeine!). Mommy opens the door to
allow Sammy entrance to the office. Sammy starts to give Mommy a dirty
look, but is distracted by the smell of a ham sandwich. Following her
nose, Sammy jumps up to the desktop.

Mommy has made the rookie mistake of cutting the ham sandwich into two
parts. She can not hold both halves of the sandwich and still have a
hand free to use her mouse to navigate the newsgroup. Choosing her base
animal urges over the aesthetic pleasure of reading the newsgroup, Mommy
grabs up both halves of her sandwich, one half in each hand, and holds
them up out of Sammy's reach. Sammy decides to climb Mommy's arm in
order to reach the delectable smell she has detected. Mommy jumps up
with a yell and drops the half of the sandwich which was being held in
the hand attached to the arm that was being used as a climbing post.
Sammy, having felled her prey, detaches her claws from Mommy's arm and
jumps down to feast on her kill. Mommy decides that the office floor
(not to mention Sammy's litter box-digging paws) is not sanitary enough
for her to salvage her sandwich and she lets Sammy keep her kill.

Mommy figures she now has enough time to read a few posts in peace while
Sammy gobbles up every last crumb of the sandwich half - ham, cheese,
mayonnaise, bread and all the trimmings including the sliced dill
pickles (after all, if this is Mommy's kill that was stolen it must be
good, right?). Now everybody, let's laugh at Mommy's naivety! Sammy
devours the sandwich in the time it takes Mommy to read just half of
Rocky's autobiography. Sammy then jumps up on Mommy's lap looking for
the other half of the kill. Mommy starts shoving her half of the
sandwich into her mouth as fast as she can until Mommy looks like a
chipmunk with cheeks full of nuts. Sammy shoves her nose into the tiny
opening left between Mommy's lips and tries to take the kill from
Mommy's mouth. Mommy jerks her head back and bangs her head on the high
back of her desk chair. This causes a bit of bread to become lodged in
Mommy's throat causing Mommy to cough which in turn causes bits of
sandwich to be spewed across Mommy's desk and keyboard. Sammy
triumphantly pounces on and devours the bits of kill she has managed to
wrest from Mommy's fangs. Mommy chews up the tiny bit of sandwich she
has managed to wrest from Sammy's depredations and swallows - all the
while glaring at the feasting kitten.

Mommy debates whether or not to go to the kitchen for another sandwich,
looks down at her ample tummy, and decides that she should forgo further
sustenance. Mommy finally gets back to reading about Rocky's early life
and her eyes mist up thinking about this and the kindness Steve has
shown to his master. In the meantime, Sammy has finished off the last of
the sandwich bits from the keyboard and desktop and saunters over to
Mommy's coffee cup to see what other goodies Mommy has captured for
herself. Sammy leans over to sniff the coffee, misjudges her approach,
and manages to snort coffee into her tiny nostrils. Sammy immediately
sneezed out the offending brew, along with kitten boogers, back into
Mommy's coffee cup. Mommy looks over at her coffee cup and wonders if
it's worth the effort to get up and get a new cup of coffee. Mommy
shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee, kitten boogers and all, and sighs.

Mommy moves on to a note from Baha about Stosh which invokes the memory
of Archie Bunker, and Mommy smiles to herself at the mental picture this
creates. Then Mommy reads a note from Helen about how Waffles is
learning English and Mommy laughs out loud. The sound of Mommy laughing
about something other than Sammy's own cute self peaks Sammy's interest
and Sammy jumps on Mommy's lap, puts her paws on Mommy's chest, and
licks Mommy on the nose. Mommy is distracted by this blatant bid for
attention and pauses in her reading to give Sammy cuddles and scritches.
Sammy bites Mommy's hand and Mommy says bad words and gently places
Sammy on her office floor.

Mommy goes on to read Oliver T. Fine's note about the invasion of his
home by the red dot greebles. Mommy laughs really hard and tells Sammy
about Oliver's post. Sammy knows exactly what Oliver is referring to
because Sammy has the same problem at her house! Sammy asks Mommy to
type a note back to Oliver telling him her concern about a mass
invasion. Mommy is laughing while she types and Sammy ends the note by
giving Mommy a dirty look.

Mommy goes on to read notes by Victor, Margaret, Helen, Sherry, Tweed,
and all the rest of the wonderful people who write to rpca. Mommy
decides to write a long story about how Demi found her forever home.
Mommy has written 3 pages worth of poignant, moving, insightful,
brilliant prose when Sammy jumps up onto the keyboard and steps on the
"Sleep" button. Mommy does not know how to get her computer off of
"Sleep" mode and tries button after button on the keyboard to no avail.
Mommy's voice is becoming louder and louder and she is saying more and
more bad words, but none of this makes her computer come out of "Sleep"
mode. Mommy gives Sammy a *really* dirty look and leans over to press
the "reset" key on her CPU to cold boot her computer back on again.
Mommy has lost all the beautiful words she has just written about Demi
and knows that she can never recapture the pathos of the lost post.
Sammy grins evilly at Mommy knowing that Mommy will now post something
about *Sammy* instead of that dumb old Demi-cat! Sammy, as usual, is
correct!

--
Hugs,



I joined this group in order to learn about cats, because my wife and I
want to adopt two cats, and will be visiting yet another shelter
tomorrow. I was warmly welcomed by everyone, including (especially)
Catnipped, and in a short week learned a great deal about cats, food,
litterboxes, and all the baggage that cats seem to bring with them.

Now comes this story. This is supposed to make me WANT a cat? Or is it
some kind of reverse psychology?

:-)

Jay

PS -- More to the point, really nice story.