A not ordinary twibyute

Jack Gordon looks out over the assembly. He stands proudly, puts on
his rimless spectacles and addresses the gathering.

I has a twibyute fwom myne howse an is not yewshal. Myne twibyute is
tu myne Meomie's Meomie.

Offur da yeers - an dare were menny, myne Granmeomie wurked fur awl
aminals dat she came acwoss. Meomie wus tott at an early age tu
wespect an care fur awl aminals, not to hurt dem, tu hewp dem an tu
most of awl, wespect dare pwace in da gwate skeem of tings .
Granmeomie instilled dat luff fur aminals in awl hur kittens an we
luffed hur. Atta end of hur life, she coodnt get abowt much an we kept
hur company durin da day wen Meomie went tu wurk. She petted us an
hugged us n we wiked it. Sumtymes she didnt haff much munny but
awlways de jar inna kitchun had pennies she saved fur da homeless
kittiez inna area. She had menny menny kittiez over hur wong wife an I
is pwoud tu say dat I wus da last wun.

My Granmeomie wus 100 years n 3 munths wen she went tu thu Bridje. She
wus soso pwoud da day de telegram arrived from da Queen n hur pikshure
wus inna papurr. Befurr she wus buried, Meomie hadta sneak de ashes
of Granmeomies little cat Tramp into da coffin beclaws she had been
told it had to go dare by hur Meomie.
Wittle burdees, kittiez, hedgehogs, dogs, mice n rabbits and sum poor
hoomins awl wus saved bye hur n we is soso pwoud to haff known hur.
Ower Granmeomie Margaret Cody.

We hopes dis twibyute does notted offend ennywun - dat wus not de
intenshun - we is just soso pwoud of hur. Fangu, awl.

Little Jack Gordon, sitting down.