New Purr Request

Lesley wrote:
On Jan 26, 10:21 am, GaDragonfly wrote:
. It's unfortunate that family members believe the person
without "conventional ties" should be expected to drop everything for
their convenience. As a couple without hooman children I've been put
in that position before by family members

When my mum was first ill I had an horrendous exchange with my
youngest brother- it went something like this

Him "When mum gets out of hospital- why don't you go and stay with her
for a few days? Look after her that sort of thing"

Me "Okay"

Him "But you know we have got to think that she might need someone to
look after her for a bit longer than that"

Me: "Well I've got a job...if I did stay with her it would take me
over 2 hours to get into work so I wouldn't fancy doing it too long"

Him: "Well we can't ask Jim he's got a family and I can't give up my
job. Could you move in with her?"

Me: "What! I just told you I have a job"

Him: "Yes but it's not an important job is it?"

Me: "Happens to be to me"

Him "I could pay you whatever you are earning now tax free to move in
with mum"

Me: "And Dave?"

Him "Mum doesn't like Dave. Anyway it's a two bedroomed flat and mum
probably wouldn't be happy if the pair of you were sleeping together"

Me: "So what about Dave?"

Him: "Well.....one of us could probably cover say Saturday night so
you could see Dave then and I am sure with the aunts we could work out
something so you could go and see Dave say once a night in the week as
long as you were back in time for mum's bedtime"

I shot him down in flames! And I got a fair bit of grief over it only
to find out at the funeral that my SIL would have taken mum in if
she'd had to

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Isn't it amazing? As if your life is somehow less important. I know you
understand what I mean by that.

Don't get me wrong. I'll do what I have to to help Mom out. But I don't
appreciate the attitude of my brothers: oh well, you can go, no problem.
Sorry, but it is a problem. I hate leaving Persia and Peaches for an
indeterminate amount of time. I'm not going to the next town, I'm going 13
hours away.

When I was there in December Mom was hinting strongly that I move in with
them. Oh, she said it with a laugh (usually after I cooked up a great meal)
but I know she's got it in the back of her mind.

I'm not trying to be selfish but I am not prepared to move there. It's bad
enough John is already 6 hours away from me; I don't want to tack on another
13 hours to that. Of course there are other factors.

Even if I didn't love my apartment, I just signed another year's lease. I'm
sure I could break it without too much financial burden. But what do I do
with all my furniture, sell it? I'm too old to start all over again buying
furniture again down the road.

And while my parents have a three bedroom house, one of the rooms is the "TV
room". (The formal, and I *do* mean formal, living room is not a place to
kick back and eat snacks while watching television. I don't even know where
they'd put a television in that room. One wall is solid glass with two
double doors on it.) I'm already sleeping on the pull out bed in the "TV
room" when I visit. Do I want to do that as a permanent arrangement?
Sorry, I don't think so!

And what do I do (assuming I get there with Persia at some point) when Dad
walks outside and leaves the door standing wide open? Persia's a curious
cat. She'd succumb to the temptation. There are alligators on the island
where they live. When they moved there 20 years ago people's pets were
going missing until folks wised up and kept them inside or only let them out
on a leash.

Jill

Lesley wrote:

When my mum was first ill I had an horrendous exchange with my
youngest brother- it went something like this

Him "When mum gets out of hospital- why don't you go and stay with her
for a few days? Look after her that sort of thing"

Me "Okay"

Him "But you know we have got to think that she might need someone to
look after her for a bit longer than that"

Me: "Well I've got a job...if I did stay with her it would take me
over 2 hours to get into work so I wouldn't fancy doing it too long"

Him: "Well we can't ask Jim he's got a family and I can't give up my
job. Could you move in with her?"

Me: "What! I just told you I have a job"

Him: "Yes but it's not an important job is it?"

Me: "Happens to be to me"

Him "I could pay you whatever you are earning now tax free to move in
with mum"

Me: "And Dave?"

Him "Mum doesn't like Dave. Anyway it's a two bedroomed flat and mum
probably wouldn't be happy if the pair of you were sleeping together"

Me: "So what about Dave?"

Him: "Well.....one of us could probably cover say Saturday night so
you could see Dave then and I am sure with the aunts we could work out
something so you could go and see Dave say once a night in the week as
long as you were back in time for mum's bedtime"

Wow, I hardly know what to say! The level of utter disrespect coming
from him is mind-boggling. He can't leave *his* job becuase it's
"important", but what you do for a living doesn't matter. And your
other brother can't leave *his* family, but, I guess because you and
Dave weren't legally married, you could just do without him, maybe go
see him once or twice a week like a teenager on a date. (I'm assuming
you weren't married, otherwise, why would your mom object to your
sleeping together?)

The smug arrogance of his attitude toward you just takes my breath
away. Not to mention his ignorance about any way for people to live
their lives, other than the narrow ideas he has about normalcy. I'm
really glad you shot him down in flames!!

Joyce

I shot him down in flames! And I got a fair bit of grief over it only
to find out at the funeral that my SIL would have taken mum in if
she'd had to

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

--
To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name.

wrote:

(I'm assuming
you weren't married, otherwise, why would your mom object to your
sleeping together?)

Weren't and still aren't despite putting up with each other 30 years come May
this year. As for mum objecting, she would have probably said "Not under MY
roof" even if we were married

The funniest one was a few years ago when Dave's mum asked why we didn't get
married and I said something like "We're saving it for when we run out of
sheets so everyone can give us those as wedding presents."

The next time she was down in London- she brought us....three sets of sheets!

Apparently she doesn't want us to wed either

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

--
Message posted via http://www.catkb.com

LesleyM via CatKB.com wrote:
wrote:

(I'm assuming
you weren't married, otherwise, why would your mom object to your
sleeping together?)

Weren't and still aren't despite putting up with each other 30 years
come May this year. As for mum objecting, she would have probably
said "Not under MY roof" even if we were married

The funniest one was a few years ago when Dave's mum asked why we
didn't get married and I said something like "We're saving it for
when we run out of sheets so everyone can give us those as wedding
presents."

The next time she was down in London- she brought us....three sets of
sheets!

Apparently she doesn't want us to wed either

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

ROTFL
--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera)
Cats leave pawprints on your heart
http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk

LesleyM via CatKB.com wrote:
wrote:

(I'm assuming
you weren't married, otherwise, why would your mom object to your
sleeping together?)

Weren't and still aren't despite putting up with each other 30 years come May
this year. As for mum objecting, she would have probably said "Not under MY
roof" even if we were married

The funniest one was a few years ago when Dave's mum asked why we didn't get
married and I said something like "We're saving it for when we run out of
sheets so everyone can give us those as wedding presents."

The next time she was down in London- she brought us....three sets of sheets!

Apparently she doesn't want us to wed either

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Reminds me of when I met my future in-laws. When DW-to-be announced
that we were going to get married, my FMIL's first response was "Oh,
NO". Fortunately, DW didn't listen to her and they eventually learned
to put up with me. I was a city boy and she was a country girl. I
think her Mom thought we'd never make it together. 'Course that was 38
years ago and we're still together.

Sam, supervised by Mistletoe

--
Kyla's Cat looked over her shoulder and watched her write this
"jmcquown"
I got a call from my mother in the last hour. She's not doing well
health-wise (she was hospitalized for colitis last year) and she called
and
said she can't deal with being sick and taking care of my father too. She
asked, "Would I please come help?" Of course I will.

Puruuuuuuurs to you from us....
I lost both my parents in 2007, my Dad in late January, and my Mom in late
August, and I am still so sad that because of finances and my knee
disability, I couldn't go be with my family in Colorado.

But I won't be driving. I called and arranged for Persia and Peaches to
be
boarded once again and I'm trying to find air fares that make any sense.
I
don't get how I could fly back on January 3rd and it cost $166 and
suddenly
the price is double that.

Blast the airlines...have a safe trip...

I'm crying because I think this may be the last time I see both of my
parents. So purrs for them, please. They are in their 80's and this is
to
be expected but dammit.... it's so hard to watch.

My parents were in their 80's when they 'went home' last year.
I always told them I loved them...



And my brothers sort of
drop out of the picture when this tough stuff comes up.

Both my younger sisters are strong about these things..my middle sister has
been at both my parent's bedsides when they 'went home'....good for my
parents, bad for us.

Purrs for Persia to know I didn't abandon her when I take her back to be
boarded for I don't know how long.

Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurs

I really thought I'd have another month or more before I had to make this
trip again. But when you gotta go, you gotta go.

True....but I'll say a prayer for you sweetie.
Love
Hugs
and Puuuuuuuuuuurs
Kyla%b

Jill

jmcquown wrote:

I got a call from my mother in the last hour. She's not doing well
health-wise (she was hospitalized for colitis last year) and she called and
said she can't deal with being sick and taking care of my father too. She
asked, "Would I please come help?" Of course I will.

But I won't be driving. I called and arranged for Persia and Peaches to be
boarded once again and I'm trying to find air fares that make any sense. I
don't get how I could fly back on January 3rd and it cost $166 and suddenly
the price is double that.

I'm crying because I think this may be the last time I see both of my
parents. So purrs for them, please. They are in their 80's and this is to
be expected but dammit.... it's so hard to watch. And my brothers sort of
drop out of the picture when this tough stuff comes up.

Purrs for Persia to know I didn't abandon her when I take her back to be
boarded for I don't know how long.

I really thought I'd have another month or more before I had to make this
trip again. But when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Jill


Lots and lots of purrs for your parents, for you, and for Peaches and
Persia,
POlonca and Soncek