Why did the chicken cross the road? OT Political humor

This according to the following people:
I may be warped but thought most of this was right on and pretty funny.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken
wanted
CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to
engage
in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the
road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day
One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road.
But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first
deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems
before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to
cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
car
so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of
the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken
crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to
have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It
was
the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I
am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes
and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order
at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed
the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's
why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with
seemingly
harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing
the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the
chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken
tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing
the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay
eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer
is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable
and will
never cra...#@&&^(C% ........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GO
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

tanadashoes wrote:
This according to the following people:
I may be warped but thought most of this was right on and pretty funny.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken
wanted
CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to
engage
in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the
road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day
One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road.
But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first
deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems
before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to
cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
car
so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of
the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken
crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to
have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It
was
the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I
am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes
and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order
at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed
the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's
why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with
seemingly
harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing
the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the
chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken
tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing
the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay
eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer
is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable
and will
never cra...#@&&^(C% ........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GO
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.




LOL! Yep, seems pretty right on to me, too!!

-Eirc, Kim and the CRC

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE!

Perhaps a few UK ones...

GORDON BROWN: If we can keep all our chickens locked up for 42 days,
they won't want to cross the road.

DAVID CAMERON: If it crossed the road it must have been heading for
Scotland and we don't talk about that. Next?

ALEX SALMOND: My friend Donald Trump will build such great facilities
for chickens that none of them will ever need to cross the road again.

NICK GRIFFIN: Put us in power and we'll round up all the chickens and
put them back on the side of the road where they belong.

==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === http://www.campin.me.uk ====
Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557
CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts

"Jack Campin - bogus address" wrote in message
...
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE!

Perhaps a few UK ones...

GORDON BROWN: If we can keep all our chickens locked up for 42 days,
they won't want to cross the road.

DAVID CAMERON: If it crossed the road it must have been heading for
Scotland and we don't talk about that. Next?

ALEX SALMOND: My friend Donald Trump will build such great facilities
for chickens that none of them will ever need to cross the road again.

NICK GRIFFIN: Put us in power and we'll round up all the chickens and
put them back on the side of the road where they belong.


MIKE BLOOMBERG: Charge all the chickens $8.00 every time they want to cross
the road. :P


--
Theresa, Stinky and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

"Jack Campin - bogus address" wrote in message
...
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted CHANGE!

Perhaps a few UK ones...

GORDON BROWN: If we can keep all our chickens locked up for 42 days,
they won't want to cross the road.


GORDON BROWN: Trust me, it's in the national interest to lock chickens up
for 42 days whilst we look for evidence to see if any of them are
terrorists. After all, they look sneaky, and if they look sneaky then they
are! Trust me, I'm in charge of the secret services and look how efficient
and well run they are..

(in case it hasn't reached forn parts yet, a demonstration of juts how
efficient the government is.. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7449845.stm )

Can we have a general election.. *please*

ROTFLOL...stop 'egging' me on
Kyla
"tanadashoes"
This according to the following people:
I may be warped but thought most of this was right on and pretty funny.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
chicken wanted
CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need
to engage
in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross
the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day
One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross
the road.
But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first
deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems
before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to
cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
car
so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of
the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know
if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either
against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken
crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to
have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was
the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.
I
am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes
and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order
at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed
the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's
why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes
with seemingly
harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be
crossing
the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the
chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken
tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing
the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay
eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer
is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable
and will
never cra...#@&&^(C% ........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GO
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

On Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:09:18 -0400, tanadashoes wrote:

This according to the following people: I may be warped but thought most
of this was right on and pretty funny.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


To prove to the opossum that it was possible to make it to the other side?

--
John F. Eldredge --
PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu
"Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better
than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria

not necessarily in my neck of the woods. Two dead 'possums on hwway 40 this
mornin'.
"John F. Eldredge" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:09:18 -0400, tanadashoes wrote:

This according to the following people: I may be warped but thought most
of this was right on and pretty funny.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


To prove to the opossum that it was possible to make it to the other side?

--
John F. Eldredge --
PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu
"Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better
than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria