Advice on Shadow, Pls

I'd say the indoor/outdoor option seems the most practical thing. Even
if you re-home her she will still have the same toilet issues and may
end up being an indoor/outdoor cat anyway. My parents' neighbour's
white cat lived to be 16yo and she had indoor/outdoor access, so it's
not a given that her life will be greatly shortened because of
exposure to the sun (and this was in Australia).

Yowie wrote:
Joel is a pretty easy going and understanding man, but I can *fully*
understand his anger toward Shadow at this point. Crapping in the beds is
just NOT ON. Crapping in Cary's bed is REALLY NOT ON. I am *hoping* this

She did not do it on purpose to p*ss you guys off.

So I need your advice.

More boxes? Try different litters? Take her to the vet?

Or perhaps she really needs to be an only cat in a house without children.
The crap on Cary's bed may well have been her 'revenge' for him being 4 (he
tends to 'love' Pickle and leave Shadow alone as she growls at him).

Perhaps it was the only place where it didn't smell like the other cats'
pee?

--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
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Yowie wrote:
Why his bed then? Why not on mine? Or Joels? Or in the sink where she
usually goes? or on the carpet? or anywhere else? Why on *Cary's* *Bed* when
she has the whole house to crap in?

What makes you think she did it on purpose??? Yowie, you are a very
loving person, but you have an irrational reaction when something
affects Cary in any way. Please calm down and think this over.


--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Shadow has been here a while now, and only once has she used a litterbox,
and that was forNo.1s. She won't go in any box either of the other cats
use, and Pickle thinks its his Bast given right to 'christen' every clean
box. I thought she'd taken to doing her business in the small side of the
kitchen sink. gross, yes, but dealable with.

But no.

Last night we were awoken by wails of terror and horror from Cary.

He had woken up to discover he was smothered in cat poo.

She had gone in his bed and slyly covered the mess (a particularly slurpy
one) she'd made with his blanket.

He'd gotten into bed and hadn't noticed straight away.

To say he was traumatised is an understatement. He's been awake *all
night* (as have we) and is refusing to go back to sleep.

Joel is a pretty easy going and understanding man, but I can *fully*
understand his anger toward Shadow at this point. Crapping in the beds is
just NOT ON. Crapping in Cary's bed is REALLY NOT ON. I am *hoping* this
doesn't mean that he will have 'poo' issues for the rest of his life, but
who knows the ramifications?

So I need your advice.

I can't seperate Shadow from the rest of the cats so she can have her own
box. The only room that that could be done with is the bathroom, and it
seems mean to lock her up in there all day, and besides, thats where
Pickle & Suki go to drink. It would also mean she doesn't get any passing
pettin's as she does now.

She desperately wants to go outside. Despite my misgivings about outside
cats, and the increased risk of skin cancer, I wonder whether the risk of
a shorter but far happier life may be worth it.

Or perhaps she really needs to be an only cat in a house without children.
The crap on Cary's bed may well have been her 'revenge' for him being 4
(he tends to 'love' Pickle and leave Shadow alone as she growls at him).

She can be very sweet and loving, but also *very* agressive if she's
annoyed, she doesn't give a warning 'bap' or a light nibble before
launching into a fully fledged ally cat fight with whatever is the source
of her ire. Thankfuly she growls first, so there is some sign, but full
scale war from 'happy and purring' is a bit intimidating, which is why
Cary is not allowed to play with her (Pickle is the best, he 'mouths' and
runs off).

So,Im not real sure what to do with her. As far as Joel is concerned,
she's on her second of three strikes (and your out), having nearly taken
out his eye on the second day we had her.

Advice on what do, and purrs that she'll mellow and use the boxes provided
wouldn't go astray either.

Yowie

I may get flamed for saying this, but what the heck, it's happened before
and I'll just put on my fire-resistant underwear...

I think you should probably find Shadow another home. You got all three
rather suddenly and not quite planned (the same happened to me after I lost
Bandit - it didn't feel like I was trying to replace my irreplaceable girl,
but maybe subconsciously that's what I was trying to do). When we added
Tayla and the boys, Tayla just didn't want to be around other cats - the
thing that worried me most was the vicious way she attacked the (then) 10
week old kittens.

We agonized over it for about 5 or 6 weeks before we finally realized we
just couldn't handle it. Fortunately, the no-kill shelter we got her from
had a "must return if it doesn't work out" policy. We brought her back and
explained to them that Tayla would be a perfect "only cat" - she was adoring
and sweet with humans, she just couldn't be around other cats. They ended
up finding her a forever home about 3 weeks after we brought her back.
Marge (a fosterer for the shelter) said an elderly couple took her and when
she checked with them later they said that "Betty" was their little angel.

You have the *added* responsibility of a 4-year-old and the reasonable fear
that he could be hurt worse than just the trauma of getting cat poop on him.
I really don't think it's fair (not talking about just you here) to
discommode your family and clowder for one "misfit" that would probably be
happier somewhere else anyway.

Personally, I'd try rehoming her before letting her go outside if that's at
all possible. But if that is the only solution then I wouldn't think you
were a sh*t to take it. Bare kids just have to take priority over our furry
ones - it's you maternal edict to care for him first above and beyond all
others.

JMHO.

Hugs,

CatNipped

Well said. Not every cat fits every home and, none of you are happy now.
That isn't fair to your family or to the Kitten.
"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Shadow has been here a while now, and only once has she used a litterbox,
and that was forNo.1s. She won't go in any box either of the other cats
use, and Pickle thinks its his Bast given right to 'christen' every clean
box. I thought she'd taken to doing her business in the small side of the
kitchen sink. gross, yes, but dealable with.

But no.

Last night we were awoken by wails of terror and horror from Cary.

He had woken up to discover he was smothered in cat poo.

She had gone in his bed and slyly covered the mess (a particularly slurpy
one) she'd made with his blanket.

He'd gotten into bed and hadn't noticed straight away.

To say he was traumatised is an understatement. He's been awake *all
night* (as have we) and is refusing to go back to sleep.

Joel is a pretty easy going and understanding man, but I can *fully*
understand his anger toward Shadow at this point. Crapping in the beds is
just NOT ON. Crapping in Cary's bed is REALLY NOT ON. I am *hoping* this
doesn't mean that he will have 'poo' issues for the rest of his life, but
who knows the ramifications?

So I need your advice.

I can't seperate Shadow from the rest of the cats so she can have her own
box. The only room that that could be done with is the bathroom, and it
seems mean to lock her up in there all day, and besides, thats where
Pickle & Suki go to drink. It would also mean she doesn't get any passing
pettin's as she does now.

She desperately wants to go outside. Despite my misgivings about outside
cats, and the increased risk of skin cancer, I wonder whether the risk of
a shorter but far happier life may be worth it.

Or perhaps she really needs to be an only cat in a house without
children. The crap on Cary's bed may well have been her 'revenge' for him
being 4 (he tends to 'love' Pickle and leave Shadow alone as she growls
at him).

She can be very sweet and loving, but also *very* agressive if she's
annoyed, she doesn't give a warning 'bap' or a light nibble before
launching into a fully fledged ally cat fight with whatever is the source
of her ire. Thankfuly she growls first, so there is some sign, but full
scale war from 'happy and purring' is a bit intimidating, which is why
Cary is not allowed to play with her (Pickle is the best, he 'mouths' and
runs off).

So,Im not real sure what to do with her. As far as Joel is concerned,
she's on her second of three strikes (and your out), having nearly taken
out his eye on the second day we had her.

Advice on what do, and purrs that she'll mellow and use the boxes
provided wouldn't go astray either.

Yowie

I may get flamed for saying this, but what the heck, it's happened before
and I'll just put on my fire-resistant underwear...

I think you should probably find Shadow another home. You got all three
rather suddenly and not quite planned (the same happened to me after I
lost Bandit - it didn't feel like I was trying to replace my irreplaceable
girl, but maybe subconsciously that's what I was trying to do). When we
added Tayla and the boys, Tayla just didn't want to be around other cats -
the thing that worried me most was the vicious way she attacked the (then)
10 week old kittens.

We agonized over it for about 5 or 6 weeks before we finally realized we
just couldn't handle it. Fortunately, the no-kill shelter we got her from
had a "must return if it doesn't work out" policy. We brought her back
and explained to them that Tayla would be a perfect "only cat" - she was
adoring and sweet with humans, she just couldn't be around other cats.
They ended up finding her a forever home about 3 weeks after we brought
her back. Marge (a fosterer for the shelter) said an elderly couple took
her and when she checked with them later they said that "Betty" was their
little angel.

You have the *added* responsibility of a 4-year-old and the reasonable
fear that he could be hurt worse than just the trauma of getting cat poop
on him. I really don't think it's fair (not talking about just you here)
to discommode your family and clowder for one "misfit" that would probably
be happier somewhere else anyway.

Personally, I'd try rehoming her before letting her go outside if that's
at all possible. But if that is the only solution then I wouldn't think
you were a sh*t to take it. Bare kids just have to take priority over our
furry ones - it's you maternal edict to care for him first above and
beyond all others.

JMHO.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Shadow has been here a while now, and only once has she used a litterbox,
and that was forNo.1s. She won't go in any box either of the other cats
use, and Pickle thinks its his Bast given right to 'christen' every clean
box. I thought she'd taken to doing her business in the small side of the
kitchen sink. gross, yes, but dealable with.


Purrs and sympathy hugs to Carey and his stressed out mamma and papa. Can
you build an enclosure outside to let her out in? If not, I think I'd let
her be an indoor/outdoor cat. I know the danger from skin cancer is
greater, but the need for a higher quality of life is greater too.

Pam S.

On Wed, 18 Jun 2008 07:45:09 +1000, "Yowie"
wrote:

Shadow has been here a while now, and only once has she used a litterbox,
and that was forNo.1s. She won't go in any box either of the other cats use,
and Pickle thinks its his Bast given right to 'christen' every clean box. I
thought she'd taken to doing her business in the small side of the kitchen
sink. gross, yes, but dealable with.

But no.

Last night we were awoken by wails of terror and horror from Cary.

He had woken up to discover he was smothered in cat poo.

Ewww... poor Cary! But poor Shadow too... she's obviously a very
unhappy feline, and it's not improving. Right now you have three
options -
1) try kitty prozac and see if it helps calm her down. (if not, no
harm, no foul...) To be honest, this is what I'd try first because
it's the simplest option and you'll know pretty quickly if it's going
to help. It's supposed to produce a very rapid change in behaviour if
it's working, and it should reduce her 'attack first, ask questions
later' attitude.
2) let her be an indoor/outdoor cat if that's what she really wants.
It's very hard to change ingrained habits and stressful to the animal
to try. Either build her an enclosure, or just plain let her out the
door early in the morning and wait for her to come back at her
leisure. I know the UV is bad and all that, but better for her to have
a short(er) and happy life outdoors, than a long and miserable one in
confinement.
Or 3) Try to find her another home...

Whichever option you choose is up to you, and it's not your fault if
it doesn't work out... you're doing your best for her.

There is a fourth option you could try temporarily... if she's really
used to pooping outside on the ground, a litterbox is just plain alien
to her. But she might be willing to use a litterbox filled with soil.

Victor Martinez wrote:
Yowie wrote:
Why his bed then? Why not on mine? Or Joels? Or in the sink where she
usually goes? or on the carpet? or anywhere else? Why on *Cary's*
*Bed* when she has the whole house to crap in?

What makes you think she did it on purpose???

From the stories I've read here, cats have been known to take a dump on
items that belong specifically to an individual that they are not pleased
with, as if to make the point.

Also, she tends to hang out in the kitchen and generally goes in the sink.
Cary's bed is as far away from the kitchen as you can get in our house.

She would have had to leave the kitchen, and walk the length of the house,
going past the dining room, lounge room, two other bedrooms, the bathroom,
toilet and laundry (where the cat boxes are) and running the gamut of the
other two cats (which she doesn't like) and then get into Cary's bedroom and
take a dump on his bed rather than somewhere more discreet like *under* it,
and then return to the kitchen again.

Since she retreats to the kitchen when she feels in any way threatened (and
defends it as her territory against hte other two), it feels like she woudl
have had to make a concious decision to leave the safety of the kitchen, and
seek out Cary's bed rather than just take a dump in her usual spot - the
kitchen sink.

There are of course other explanations, but it seems harder for me to
believe that she just 'happened' to be on Cary's bed when the urge took her
when she otherwise hates leaving the kitchen. Why would she be in there
unless she *wanted* to be in there? Could the other two cats have herded her
there - seems unlikely since neither dare go into the kitchen these days.

To me, it just doesn't make sense unless it was her making a point. And her
making a point would make sense to me.

Yowie, you are a very
loving person, but you have an irrational reaction when something
affects Cary in any way. Please calm down and think this over.

Well, that is the protective Mom coming out in me :-)

Searching for solutions, not just venting. Gonna try and move a box into the
kitchen closer to her with different litter (although don't like the idea of
a litter box in the kitchen). Will try the canned food (hopefully there's
some without a lot of gluten). A quick course of 'happy cat' drugs will be
tried next, but can't be a long term solution (can't afford them, they
aren't cheap). Still not sure about letting her be an indoor/outdoor cat
(since I don't want Pickle to also be an indoor/outdoor cat), but am
starting to suspect she'd be happiest as an only cat. *Sigh*.

Yowie

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Victor Martinez wrote:
Yowie wrote:
Why his bed then? Why not on mine? Or Joels? Or in the sink where
she
usually goes? or on the carpet? or anywhere else? Why on *Cary's*
*Bed* when she has the whole house to crap in?

What makes you think she did it on purpose???

From the stories I've read here, cats have been known to take a dump
on items that belong specifically to an individual that they are not
pleased with, as if to make the point.

Also, she tends to hang out in the kitchen and generally goes in the
sink. Cary's bed is as far away from the kitchen as you can get in
our house.

She would have had to leave the kitchen, and walk the length of the
house, going past the dining room, lounge room, two other bedrooms,
the bathroom, toilet and laundry (where the cat boxes are) and
running the gamut of the other two cats (which she doesn't like) and
then get into Cary's bedroom and take a dump on his bed rather than
somewhere more discreet like *under* it, and then return to the
kitchen again.

Since she retreats to the kitchen when she feels in any way
threatened (and defends it as her territory against hte other two),
it feels like she woudl have had to make a concious decision to
leave the safety of the kitchen, and seek out Cary's bed rather than
just take a dump in her usual spot - the kitchen sink.

There are of course other explanations, but it seems harder for me
to believe that she just 'happened' to be on Cary's bed when the
urge took her when she otherwise hates leaving the kitchen. Why
would she be in there unless she *wanted* to be in there? Could the
other two cats have herded her there - seems unlikely since neither
dare go into the kitchen these days.

To me, it just doesn't make sense unless it was her making a point.
And her making a point would make sense to me.


I agree with you 100 percent. Cats can be very pointed in their
messages when they want to tell us something. Especially when they
want to tell us something is wrong.

I've never had a cat that was discrete about a poorly placed pee or
poo, hairball or upchuck.

Sadly we aren't usually as good about understanding their messages as
they are about understanding us.

She's upset. Its probably related to elimination. She wants you to
do something about it. Pooping on Cary's bed was guaranteed to get
your attention. To bad that doesn't tell you what she wants or needs,
if she even knows.

She could want out.
Her food might not agree with her.
She could have other digestive problems
She could have problems with the other cats, or Cary or Joel, or your
house, etc.
She could be mad at the world. Who knows, she may have reason to be.

Purrs that you find a solution.

Jo

Yowie wrote:

She would have had to leave the kitchen, and walk the length of the house,
going past the dining room, lounge room, two other bedrooms, the bathroom,
toilet and laundry (where the cat boxes are) and running the gamut of the
other two cats (which she doesn't like) and then get into Cary's bedroom and
take a dump on his bed rather than somewhere more discreet like *under* it,
and then return to the kitchen again.

This makes me wonder if it even *was* Shadow that did it. What if it was
Pickle or Suki who got an attack of 'the runs' while ob Cary's bed, and
you just assumed it was Shadow because she's the one who has been going
in inappriopriate places?

--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.