Purrleese! A cat of manners would not sniff a laydee *there!*

*chortle*

I was in the garden for a while so I let The Laydeez out of their run so
they could free-range the garden under supervision with a wary eye out for
Mr Fox. I put out a dish of steamed sweetcorn niblets for the girls. Boy, do
they like sweetcorn... It's warm, I mix layers' mash in with it. The Laydeez
love it as a treat between digging for worms, slugs... *things devoid of
backbone*

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

Marble wanders into the garden from the house. Marble sees two hens gorging
themselves on food. Marble thinks, "They're eating. There must be something
for me there. Investigate. Look nonchalant and they'll never see me"

So Marble adopts his best 'casual sneaking up in a sideways format' pose,
trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

The Laydeez carry on pecking and eating sweetcorn whilst making many happy
hen sounds, utterly ignoring Marble.

Marble works his way to a about foot from Cathode and behind her.

Have I mentioned feline fascination for feathery hen bottoms? The hen bottom
is an amazing thing. It is, to put it bluntly, prehensile. It looks like a
mouth and it moves... I'm almost certain it's a separate lifeform tagged on
to the back of the hen as an evolutionary afterthought.

Marble spots a talking bottom. A feathery talking bottom. He is distracted
from the thought of food by a talking bottom a foot from his face.

He decides to investigate the talking butthole.

So he squats down and he is eye to err, eye...

He sticks his nose out.

He sniffs.

There is a cluck.

He sniffs again.

There is a 'squawk' combined with a small leap of a surprised nature. The
thing that 'squawked' then turned a beady eye in the direction of Marble the
bum bandit and gave what sounded like a 'tut-tut' noise. A "Manners! A
gentleman would never sniff a laydee *there*!!"

Marble, never the brightest of Bast's creations, does a full on nose up the
bum jobbie.

Cue feathered leap, ninja-stylee, with swift mid-air turn and the end of a
beak jabbed on the end of the very nose that had been placed, uninvited, in
a private part of feathery bloomers.

Marble can run very quickly when he wants to.

Ninja-hen1: Marble 0

Now that I have the ice tea cleaned off the keyboard, that way really
funny. Should have had a BW on it!
"wafflycat" wrote in message
...
*chortle*

I was in the garden for a while so I let The Laydeez out of their run so
they could free-range the garden under supervision with a wary eye out for
Mr Fox. I put out a dish of steamed sweetcorn niblets for the girls. Boy,
do they like sweetcorn... It's warm, I mix layers' mash in with it. The
Laydeez love it as a treat between digging for worms, slugs... *things
devoid of backbone*

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

Marble wanders into the garden from the house. Marble sees two hens
gorging themselves on food. Marble thinks, "They're eating. There must be
something for me there. Investigate. Look nonchalant and they'll never see
me"

So Marble adopts his best 'casual sneaking up in a sideways format' pose,
trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

The Laydeez carry on pecking and eating sweetcorn whilst making many happy
hen sounds, utterly ignoring Marble.

Marble works his way to a about foot from Cathode and behind her.

Have I mentioned feline fascination for feathery hen bottoms? The hen
bottom is an amazing thing. It is, to put it bluntly, prehensile. It looks
like a mouth and it moves... I'm almost certain it's a separate lifeform
tagged on to the back of the hen as an evolutionary afterthought.

Marble spots a talking bottom. A feathery talking bottom. He is distracted
from the thought of food by a talking bottom a foot from his face.

He decides to investigate the talking butthole.

So he squats down and he is eye to err, eye...

He sticks his nose out.

He sniffs.

There is a cluck.

He sniffs again.

There is a 'squawk' combined with a small leap of a surprised nature. The
thing that 'squawked' then turned a beady eye in the direction of Marble
the bum bandit and gave what sounded like a 'tut-tut' noise. A "Manners! A
gentleman would never sniff a laydee *there*!!"

Marble, never the brightest of Bast's creations, does a full on nose up
the bum jobbie.

Cue feathered leap, ninja-stylee, with swift mid-air turn and the end of a
beak jabbed on the end of the very nose that had been placed, uninvited,
in a private part of feathery bloomers.

Marble can run very quickly when he wants to.

Ninja-hen1: Marble 0

Same with my latte...that was really funny. Thanks for sharing it.
Hug
Kyla
"Granby"
Now that I have the ice tea cleaned off the keyboard, that way really
funny. Should have had a BW on it!
"wafflycat"
*chortle*

I was in the garden for a while so I let The Laydeez out of their run so
they could free-range the garden under supervision with a wary eye out
for Mr Fox. I put out a dish of steamed sweetcorn niblets for the girls.
Boy, do they like sweetcorn... It's warm, I mix layers' mash in with it.
The Laydeez love it as a treat between digging for worms, slugs...
*things devoid of backbone*

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

Marble wanders into the garden from the house. Marble sees two hens
gorging themselves on food. Marble thinks, "They're eating. There must be
something for me there. Investigate. Look nonchalant and they'll never
see me"

So Marble adopts his best 'casual sneaking up in a sideways format' pose,
trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

The Laydeez carry on pecking and eating sweetcorn whilst making many
happy hen sounds, utterly ignoring Marble.

Marble works his way to a about foot from Cathode and behind her.

Have I mentioned feline fascination for feathery hen bottoms? The hen
bottom is an amazing thing. It is, to put it bluntly, prehensile. It
looks like a mouth and it moves... I'm almost certain it's a separate
lifeform tagged on to the back of the hen as an evolutionary
afterthought.

Marble spots a talking bottom. A feathery talking bottom. He is
distracted from the thought of food by a talking bottom a foot from his
face.

He decides to investigate the talking butthole.

So he squats down and he is eye to err, eye...

He sticks his nose out.

He sniffs.

There is a cluck.

He sniffs again.

There is a 'squawk' combined with a small leap of a surprised nature. The
thing that 'squawked' then turned a beady eye in the direction of Marble
the bum bandit and gave what sounded like a 'tut-tut' noise. A "Manners!
A gentleman would never sniff a laydee *there*!!"

Marble, never the brightest of Bast's creations, does a full on nose up
the bum jobbie.

Cue feathered leap, ninja-stylee, with swift mid-air turn and the end of
a beak jabbed on the end of the very nose that had been placed,
uninvited, in a private part of feathery bloomers.

Marble can run very quickly when he wants to.

Ninja-hen1: Marble 0

"wafflycat" wrote in message
...
*chortle*

I was in the garden for a while so I let The Laydeez out of their run so
they could free-range the garden under supervision with a wary eye out for
Mr Fox. I put out a dish of steamed sweetcorn niblets for the girls. Boy,
do they like sweetcorn... It's warm, I mix layers' mash in with it. The
Laydeez love it as a treat between digging for worms, slugs... *things
devoid of backbone*

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

Marble wanders into the garden from the house. Marble sees two hens
gorging themselves on food. Marble thinks, "They're eating. There must be
something for me there. Investigate. Look nonchalant and they'll never see
me"

So Marble adopts his best 'casual sneaking up in a sideways format' pose,
trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

The Laydeez carry on pecking and eating sweetcorn whilst making many happy
hen sounds, utterly ignoring Marble.

Marble works his way to a about foot from Cathode and behind her.

Have I mentioned feline fascination for feathery hen bottoms? The hen
bottom is an amazing thing. It is, to put it bluntly, prehensile. It looks
like a mouth and it moves... I'm almost certain it's a separate lifeform
tagged on to the back of the hen as an evolutionary afterthought.

Marble spots a talking bottom. A feathery talking bottom. He is distracted
from the thought of food by a talking bottom a foot from his face.

He decides to investigate the talking butthole.

So he squats down and he is eye to err, eye...

He sticks his nose out.

He sniffs.

There is a cluck.

He sniffs again.

There is a 'squawk' combined with a small leap of a surprised nature. The
thing that 'squawked' then turned a beady eye in the direction of Marble
the bum bandit and gave what sounded like a 'tut-tut' noise. A "Manners! A
gentleman would never sniff a laydee *there*!!"

Marble, never the brightest of Bast's creations, does a full on nose up
the bum jobbie.

Cue feathered leap, ninja-stylee, with swift mid-air turn and the end of a
beak jabbed on the end of the very nose that had been placed, uninvited,
in a private part of feathery bloomers.

Marble can run very quickly when he wants to.

Ninja-hen1: Marble 0



"Chicken Butts : More Fascinating Than We Knew"

Theresa, Stinky and Dante

wafflycat wrote:

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

[snip hilarious story]

Another keeper!! I'm not sure what's funnier, the hens and their weird
butts, combined with curious, easily confused cats, or your very funny
way of putting things. Helen, you should be writing a humor column. You
can start with cats and hens!

Joyce

PS - can a hen *pick up* something with its butt?

wrote in message
...
wafflycat wrote:

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

[snip hilarious story]

Another keeper!! I'm not sure what's funnier, the hens and their weird
butts, combined with curious, easily confused cats, or your very funny
way of putting things. Helen, you should be writing a humor column. You
can start with cats and hens!


*Thank you*

Joyce

PS - can a hen *pick up* something with its butt?

It would not surprise me in the slightest if it could...

OMG Helen, that's hysterical! And so beautifully written. Love your
description of hen bottoms!
Our girls have not yet been allowed to venture into the wide outer
lands (maybe on the weekend when I can be sure they know where home
is), but I'm looking forward to interactions like this. Although Spock
cat, who can transport himself out of locked doors and closed windows,
was found sitting a safe distance from the coop last night, just
staaaaaring at the girls. The girls were making contented quiet
clucking noises (the way sleepy chickens do) and Spock was *most*
disconcerted.
The girls - Marie Curie, Rosalind Franklin and Jane Goodall (egg-
heads, every one!) are so much fun and producing nicely considering
they're just youngsters. I'm glad we have them.

Tish

On Jun 19, 3:52 am, "wafflycat"
wrote:
*chortle*

I was in the garden for a while so I let The Laydeez out of their run so
they could free-range the garden under supervision with a wary eye out for
Mr Fox. I put out a dish of steamed sweetcorn niblets for the girls. Boy, do
they like sweetcorn... It's warm, I mix layers' mash in with it. The Laydeez
love it as a treat between digging for worms, slugs... *things devoid of
backbone*

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

Marble wanders into the garden from the house. Marble sees two hens gorging
themselves on food. Marble thinks, "They're eating. There must be something
for me there. Investigate. Look nonchalant and they'll never see me"

So Marble adopts his best 'casual sneaking up in a sideways format' pose,
trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

The Laydeez carry on pecking and eating sweetcorn whilst making many happy
hen sounds, utterly ignoring Marble.

Marble works his way to a about foot from Cathode and behind her.

Have I mentioned feline fascination for feathery hen bottoms? The hen bottom
is an amazing thing. It is, to put it bluntly, prehensile. It looks like a
mouth and it moves... I'm almost certain it's a separate lifeform tagged on
to the back of the hen as an evolutionary afterthought.

Marble spots a talking bottom. A feathery talking bottom. He is distracted
from the thought of food by a talking bottom a foot from his face.

He decides to investigate the talking butthole.

So he squats down and he is eye to err, eye...

He sticks his nose out.

He sniffs.

There is a cluck.

He sniffs again.

There is a 'squawk' combined with a small leap of a surprised nature. The
thing that 'squawked' then turned a beady eye in the direction of Marble the
bum bandit and gave what sounded like a 'tut-tut' noise. A "Manners! A
gentleman would never sniff a laydee *there*!!"

Marble, never the brightest of Bast's creations, does a full on nose up the
bum jobbie.

Cue feathered leap, ninja-stylee, with swift mid-air turn and the end of a
beak jabbed on the end of the very nose that had been placed, uninvited, in
a private part of feathery bloomers.

Marble can run very quickly when he wants to.

Ninja-hen1: Marble 0

"wafflycat" wrote in message
...
*chortle*

I was in the garden for a while so I let The Laydeez out of their run so
they could free-range the garden under supervision with a wary eye out for
Mr Fox. I put out a dish of steamed sweetcorn niblets for the girls. Boy,
do they like sweetcorn... It's warm, I mix layers' mash in with it. The
Laydeez love it as a treat between digging for worms, slugs... *things
devoid of backbone*

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

Marble wanders into the garden from the house. Marble sees two hens
gorging themselves on food. Marble thinks, "They're eating. There must be
something for me there. Investigate. Look nonchalant and they'll never see
me"

So Marble adopts his best 'casual sneaking up in a sideways format' pose,
trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

The Laydeez carry on pecking and eating sweetcorn whilst making many happy
hen sounds, utterly ignoring Marble.

Marble works his way to a about foot from Cathode and behind her.

Have I mentioned feline fascination for feathery hen bottoms? The hen
bottom is an amazing thing. It is, to put it bluntly, prehensile. It looks
like a mouth and it moves... I'm almost certain it's a separate lifeform
tagged on to the back of the hen as an evolutionary afterthought.

Marble spots a talking bottom. A feathery talking bottom. He is distracted
from the thought of food by a talking bottom a foot from his face.

He decides to investigate the talking butthole.

So he squats down and he is eye to err, eye...

He sticks his nose out.

He sniffs.

There is a cluck.

He sniffs again.

There is a 'squawk' combined with a small leap of a surprised nature. The
thing that 'squawked' then turned a beady eye in the direction of Marble
the bum bandit and gave what sounded like a 'tut-tut' noise. A "Manners! A
gentleman would never sniff a laydee *there*!!"

Marble, never the brightest of Bast's creations, does a full on nose up
the bum jobbie.

Cue feathered leap, ninja-stylee, with swift mid-air turn and the end of a
beak jabbed on the end of the very nose that had been placed, uninvited,
in a private part of feathery bloomers.

Marble can run very quickly when he wants to.

Ninja-hen1: Marble 0

ROTFLOL! Poor Marble! LOL!

Joy

wafflycat wrote:
*chortle*

I was in the garden for a while so I let The Laydeez out of their run
so they could free-range the garden under supervision with a wary eye
out for Mr Fox. I put out a dish of steamed sweetcorn niblets for the
girls. Boy, do they like sweetcorn... It's warm, I mix layers' mash
in with it. The Laydeez love it as a treat between digging for worms,
slugs... *things devoid of backbone*

Anyhow, I have a cat who has one brain cell and that one brain cell is
devoted to food: Marble.

Marble wanders into the garden from the house. Marble sees two hens
gorging themselves on food. Marble thinks, "They're eating. There
must be something for me there. Investigate. Look nonchalant and
they'll never see me"
So Marble adopts his best 'casual sneaking up in a sideways format'
pose, trying to look uninterested but failing miserably.

The Laydeez carry on pecking and eating sweetcorn whilst making many
happy hen sounds, utterly ignoring Marble.

Marble works his way to a about foot from Cathode and behind her.

Have I mentioned feline fascination for feathery hen bottoms? The hen
bottom is an amazing thing. It is, to put it bluntly, prehensile. It
looks like a mouth and it moves... I'm almost certain it's a separate
lifeform tagged on to the back of the hen as an evolutionary
afterthought.
Marble spots a talking bottom. A feathery talking bottom. He is
distracted from the thought of food by a talking bottom a foot from
his face.
He decides to investigate the talking butthole.

So he squats down and he is eye to err, eye...

He sticks his nose out.

He sniffs.

There is a cluck.

He sniffs again.

There is a 'squawk' combined with a small leap of a surprised nature.
The thing that 'squawked' then turned a beady eye in the direction of
Marble the bum bandit and gave what sounded like a 'tut-tut' noise. A
"Manners! A gentleman would never sniff a laydee *there*!!"

Marble, never the brightest of Bast's creations, does a full on nose
up the bum jobbie.

Cue feathered leap, ninja-stylee, with swift mid-air turn and the end
of a beak jabbed on the end of the very nose that had been placed,
uninvited, in a private part of feathery bloomers.

Marble can run very quickly when he wants to.

Ninja-hen1: Marble 0

ROFL, that's such a well written story; very descriptive. I love it!

kili

Tish wrote:

Although Spock
cat, who can transport himself out of locked doors and closed windows,
was found sitting a safe distance from the coop last night

That's what you get for naming him Spock.

The girls - Marie Curie, Rosalind Franklin and Jane Goodall (egg-
heads, every one!)

Excellent names!

--
Joyce

To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^