We're Here!

"Pixie Dust 413" wrote in message
om...
No, Lilith kitten, it doesn't mean that your slave *failed*. It just
means
that she's a little slow. She did react to your howling,w hich is good,
but
the *correct* response is to do something you want her to do, such as
refresh the kibble in your bowl, open the door tot he The Out or scritch
your cheeks are better options. Still, your slave is young and you
haven't
been working on her for all that long, so there is hope yet. keep up the
yowling and sooner or later your slave will truly be yours in all senses
of
the word.

Shmogg.

How do I start?

What do you want your slave to do?

Say for example, you want fresh kibble.

Start howling. Eventually your slave will work out that you want something,
and may get up to see what you want. As soon as she's up and mobile, head
for your cat food bowl. Hopefully she'll follow. repeat the process until
she *does* start following. When you've got her to the food bowl, look at
it, then look at her, and then yowl some more. it doens't matter if there's
food in there already, this is part of the training. Just keep repeating the
process until the shtoopid hoomin gets hit through her head that you want
your kibble topped up. As soon as she tops up the kibble, dive right in, and
purr like mad. it doens't matter if you only eat a few small mouthfuls, as
long as you purr real loud and look like this is what you wanted all along.
Soon you'll have her trained to fill up your kibble bowl as soon as you
start yowling.

Once you have got her to do this trick (patience, my friend, they can be
difficult to train), you can then start on another trick. You start off the
same way, by yowling, but when she gets up and starts going to you food
bowl, head the other way, yowling all along. Sit at the door to the Out and
yowl. And Yowl. She may eventually figure out that you want the door opened.
She may of course, not open the door, but hey, you have her undivided
attention now. Use it wisely.

This technique can be used on all but the most recalcitrant hoomins. Those
that simply won't be trained really don't make good staff and should, after
consultation with the mothership, be exchanged for a better model slave at
your earliest convenience.

Shmogg

"Pixie Dust 413" wrote in message
om...
No, Lilith kitten, it doesn't mean that your slave *failed*. It just
means
that she's a little slow. She did react to your howling,w hich is good,
but
the *correct* response is to do something you want her to do, such as
refresh the kibble in your bowl, open the door tot he The Out or scritch
your cheeks are better options. Still, your slave is young and you
haven't
been working on her for all that long, so there is hope yet. keep up the
yowling and sooner or later your slave will truly be yours in all senses
of
the word.

Shmogg.

How do I start?

What do you want your slave to do?

Say for example, you want fresh kibble.

Start howling. Eventually your slave will work out that you want something,
and may get up to see what you want. As soon as she's up and mobile, head
for your cat food bowl. Hopefully she'll follow. repeat the process until
she *does* start following. When you've got her to the food bowl, look at
it, then look at her, and then yowl some more. it doens't matter if there's
food in there already, this is part of the training. Just keep repeating the
process until the shtoopid hoomin gets hit through her head that you want
your kibble topped up. As soon as she tops up the kibble, dive right in, and
purr like mad. it doens't matter if you only eat a few small mouthfuls, as
long as you purr real loud and look like this is what you wanted all along.
Soon you'll have her trained to fill up your kibble bowl as soon as you
start yowling.

Once you have got her to do this trick (patience, my friend, they can be
difficult to train), you can then start on another trick. You start off the
same way, by yowling, but when she gets up and starts going to you food
bowl, head the other way, yowling all along. Sit at the door to the Out and
yowl. And Yowl. She may eventually figure out that you want the door opened.
She may of course, not open the door, but hey, you have her undivided
attention now. Use it wisely.

This technique can be used on all but the most recalcitrant hoomins. Those
that simply won't be trained really don't make good staff and should, after
consultation with the mothership, be exchanged for a better model slave at
your earliest convenience.

Shmogg

No, Lilith kitten, it doesn't mean that your slave *failed*. It just
means that she's a little slow. She did react to your howling,
which is good, but the *correct* response is to do something you
want her to do, such as refresh the kibble in your bowl, open the door
to the The Out or scritch your cheeks are better options. Still, your
slave is young and you haven't been working on her for all that long,
so there is hope yet. keep up the yowling and sooner or later your
slave will truly be yours in all senses of the word.

How do I start?

Start howling. Eventually your slave will work out that you want something,
and may get up to see what you want. As soon as she's up and mobile, head
for your cat food bowl. Hopefully she'll follow. repeat the process until
she *does* start following. When you've got her to the food bowl, look at
it, then look at her, and then yowl some more. it doens't matter if there's
food in there already, this is part of the training. Just keep repeating the
process until the shtoopid hoomin gets hit through her head that you want
your kibble topped up. As soon as she tops up the kibble, dive right in, and
purr like mad. it doens't matter if you only eat a few small mouthfuls, as
long as you purr real loud and look like this is what you wanted all along.
Soon you'll have her trained to fill up your kibble bowl as soon as you
start yowling.

You would have been proud of me last night! Meowmie Debby was on the
phone with Prince Charming, and I howled at her so loud that Prince
Charming heard me on the other end. So Meowmie Debby sat up on the
bed (she had been lying down), I curled up smack-dab against her leg,
and purred like mad. She began stroking me and rubbing my belly.
Then I got up and ran away faster than I arrived. I did this a few
more times, always when Meowmie Debby was getting into a cozy part of
the conversation with Prince Charming.

Once you have got her to do this trick (patience, my friend, they can be
difficult to train), you can then start on another trick. You start off the
same way, by yowling, but when she gets up and starts going to you food
bowl, head the other way, yowling all along. Sit at the door to the Out and
yowl. And Yowl. She may eventually figure out that you want the door opened.
She may of course, not open the door, but hey, you have her undivided
attention now. Use it wisely.

Meowmie Debby was too busy talking to Prince Charming to notice that
it was past my bedtime, so I woke her up extra early this morning!

This technique can be used on all but the most recalcitrant hoomins. Those
that simply won't be trained really don't make good staff and should, after
consultation with the mothership, be exchanged for a better model slave at
your earliest convenience.

Fangu, Shmogg. You've been furry helpful.

Lilith Kitten
Age 3

No, Lilith kitten, it doesn't mean that your slave *failed*. It just
means that she's a little slow. She did react to your howling,
which is good, but the *correct* response is to do something you
want her to do, such as refresh the kibble in your bowl, open the door
to the The Out or scritch your cheeks are better options. Still, your
slave is young and you haven't been working on her for all that long,
so there is hope yet. keep up the yowling and sooner or later your
slave will truly be yours in all senses of the word.

How do I start?

Start howling. Eventually your slave will work out that you want something,
and may get up to see what you want. As soon as she's up and mobile, head
for your cat food bowl. Hopefully she'll follow. repeat the process until
she *does* start following. When you've got her to the food bowl, look at
it, then look at her, and then yowl some more. it doens't matter if there's
food in there already, this is part of the training. Just keep repeating the
process until the shtoopid hoomin gets hit through her head that you want
your kibble topped up. As soon as she tops up the kibble, dive right in, and
purr like mad. it doens't matter if you only eat a few small mouthfuls, as
long as you purr real loud and look like this is what you wanted all along.
Soon you'll have her trained to fill up your kibble bowl as soon as you
start yowling.

You would have been proud of me last night! Meowmie Debby was on the
phone with Prince Charming, and I howled at her so loud that Prince
Charming heard me on the other end. So Meowmie Debby sat up on the
bed (she had been lying down), I curled up smack-dab against her leg,
and purred like mad. She began stroking me and rubbing my belly.
Then I got up and ran away faster than I arrived. I did this a few
more times, always when Meowmie Debby was getting into a cozy part of
the conversation with Prince Charming.

Once you have got her to do this trick (patience, my friend, they can be
difficult to train), you can then start on another trick. You start off the
same way, by yowling, but when she gets up and starts going to you food
bowl, head the other way, yowling all along. Sit at the door to the Out and
yowl. And Yowl. She may eventually figure out that you want the door opened.
She may of course, not open the door, but hey, you have her undivided
attention now. Use it wisely.

Meowmie Debby was too busy talking to Prince Charming to notice that
it was past my bedtime, so I woke her up extra early this morning!

This technique can be used on all but the most recalcitrant hoomins. Those
that simply won't be trained really don't make good staff and should, after
consultation with the mothership, be exchanged for a better model slave at
your earliest convenience.

Fangu, Shmogg. You've been furry helpful.

Lilith Kitten
Age 3

"Pixie Dust 413" wrote in message
m...
No, Lilith kitten, it doesn't mean that your slave *failed*. It just
means that she's a little slow. She did react to your howling,
which is good, but the *correct* response is to do something you
want her to do, such as refresh the kibble in your bowl, open the
door
to the The Out or scritch your cheeks are better options. Still,
your
slave is young and you haven't been working on her for all that
long,
so there is hope yet. keep up the yowling and sooner or later your
slave will truly be yours in all senses of the word.

How do I start?

Start howling. Eventually your slave will work out that you want
something,
and may get up to see what you want. As soon as she's up and mobile,
head
for your cat food bowl. Hopefully she'll follow. repeat the process
until
she *does* start following. When you've got her to the food bowl, look
at
it, then look at her, and then yowl some more. it doens't matter if
there's
food in there already, this is part of the training. Just keep repeating
the
process until the shtoopid hoomin gets hit through her head that you
want
your kibble topped up. As soon as she tops up the kibble, dive right in,
and
purr like mad. it doens't matter if you only eat a few small mouthfuls,
as
long as you purr real loud and look like this is what you wanted all
along.
Soon you'll have her trained to fill up your kibble bowl as soon as you
start yowling.

You would have been proud of me last night! Meowmie Debby was on the
phone with Prince Charming, and I howled at her so loud that Prince
Charming heard me on the other end. So Meowmie Debby sat up on the
bed (she had been lying down), I curled up smack-dab against her leg,
and purred like mad. She began stroking me and rubbing my belly.
Then I got up and ran away faster than I arrived. I did this a few
more times, always when Meowmie Debby was getting into a cozy part of
the conversation with Prince Charming.

Once you have got her to do this trick (patience, my friend, they can be
difficult to train), you can then start on another trick. You start off
the
same way, by yowling, but when she gets up and starts going to you food
bowl, head the other way, yowling all along. Sit at the door to the Out
and
yowl. And Yowl. She may eventually figure out that you want the door
opened.
She may of course, not open the door, but hey, you have her undivided
attention now. Use it wisely.

Meowmie Debby was too busy talking to Prince Charming to notice that
it was past my bedtime, so I woke her up extra early this morning!

This technique can be used on all but the most recalcitrant hoomins.
Those
that simply won't be trained really don't make good staff and should,
after
consultation with the mothership, be exchanged for a better model slave
at
your earliest convenience.

Fangu, Shmogg. You've been furry helpful.

Congratulations Lilith, you are well on your way to World Domination.
remember, we have to start small, and nothing is much smaller than hoomin
brains!

Shmogg.

"Pixie Dust 413" wrote in message
m...
No, Lilith kitten, it doesn't mean that your slave *failed*. It just
means that she's a little slow. She did react to your howling,
which is good, but the *correct* response is to do something you
want her to do, such as refresh the kibble in your bowl, open the
door
to the The Out or scritch your cheeks are better options. Still,
your
slave is young and you haven't been working on her for all that
long,
so there is hope yet. keep up the yowling and sooner or later your
slave will truly be yours in all senses of the word.

How do I start?

Start howling. Eventually your slave will work out that you want
something,
and may get up to see what you want. As soon as she's up and mobile,
head
for your cat food bowl. Hopefully she'll follow. repeat the process
until
she *does* start following. When you've got her to the food bowl, look
at
it, then look at her, and then yowl some more. it doens't matter if
there's
food in there already, this is part of the training. Just keep repeating
the
process until the shtoopid hoomin gets hit through her head that you
want
your kibble topped up. As soon as she tops up the kibble, dive right in,
and
purr like mad. it doens't matter if you only eat a few small mouthfuls,
as
long as you purr real loud and look like this is what you wanted all
along.
Soon you'll have her trained to fill up your kibble bowl as soon as you
start yowling.

You would have been proud of me last night! Meowmie Debby was on the
phone with Prince Charming, and I howled at her so loud that Prince
Charming heard me on the other end. So Meowmie Debby sat up on the
bed (she had been lying down), I curled up smack-dab against her leg,
and purred like mad. She began stroking me and rubbing my belly.
Then I got up and ran away faster than I arrived. I did this a few
more times, always when Meowmie Debby was getting into a cozy part of
the conversation with Prince Charming.

Once you have got her to do this trick (patience, my friend, they can be
difficult to train), you can then start on another trick. You start off
the
same way, by yowling, but when she gets up and starts going to you food
bowl, head the other way, yowling all along. Sit at the door to the Out
and
yowl. And Yowl. She may eventually figure out that you want the door
opened.
She may of course, not open the door, but hey, you have her undivided
attention now. Use it wisely.

Meowmie Debby was too busy talking to Prince Charming to notice that
it was past my bedtime, so I woke her up extra early this morning!

This technique can be used on all but the most recalcitrant hoomins.
Those
that simply won't be trained really don't make good staff and should,
after
consultation with the mothership, be exchanged for a better model slave
at
your earliest convenience.

Fangu, Shmogg. You've been furry helpful.

Congratulations Lilith, you are well on your way to World Domination.
remember, we have to start small, and nothing is much smaller than hoomin
brains!

Shmogg.