The very NERVE!!!

Mischief here, and I'm calling out to all cats in a plea for help.

My meowmie has done a very bad thing. The other day I was surveying my
domain and saw this intruder out on the wall. I whined and puffed out
and tried to tell Mama Kristi that there was this intruder. And do you
know what she did?

She went out and FED it!! She FED this intruder!! And if that wasn't
enough....

She brought it INSIDE!!!!!

Now I have this intruder in my bathroom who is getting cuddles and
scritches from MY meowmie.

And my meowmie had the NERVE to bring this intruder out and cuddle her
in her LAP. That's MY privelege and I'M the only one that gets the lap
cuddles

She then brought this intruder (she's female from her smell) and put
her in the middle of the floor. I got a good whiff of her and I didn't
like it one bit so I hissed at her.

And the little varmint hissed RIGHT BACK!! This is MY domain where I
am the QUEEN and no on is going to upseat me.

What can I do?? I know my meowmie will bring that intruder out again
and expect me to get along with her but I DON'T WANNA!!! I AM THE
QUEEN!!!

What should I do??

Kristi

Mischief, you need to be nice and patient. This little kitty desparately
needs a home. You remember what it is like to not have a home. Meowmie can
skritch all of you in your own special ways. Meowmie has enough food and
love for all of you.

Karen

"Mischief" wrote in message
oups.com...
Mischief here, and I'm calling out to all cats in a plea for help.

My meowmie has done a very bad thing. The other day I was surveying my
domain and saw this intruder out on the wall. I whined and puffed out
and tried to tell Mama Kristi that there was this intruder. And do you
know what she did?

She went out and FED it!! She FED this intruder!! And if that wasn't
enough....

She brought it INSIDE!!!!!

Now I have this intruder in my bathroom who is getting cuddles and
scritches from MY meowmie.

And my meowmie had the NERVE to bring this intruder out and cuddle her
in her LAP. That's MY privelege and I'M the only one that gets the lap
cuddles

She then brought this intruder (she's female from her smell) and put
her in the middle of the floor. I got a good whiff of her and I didn't
like it one bit so I hissed at her.

And the little varmint hissed RIGHT BACK!! This is MY domain where I
am the QUEEN and no on is going to upseat me.

What can I do?? I know my meowmie will bring that intruder out again
and expect me to get along with her but I DON'T WANNA!!! I AM THE
QUEEN!!!

What should I do??

Kristi

Mischief dictated and I typed

My dearest Mischief:

You should bitchslap the intruder upside the face, then eviscerate
by....

Put me down! Put me down at once, human filth!

*ahem*

Nocturne would like me to tell you to be nice to this poor l'il
bit--soon you will be curled up together in the bed, keeping your
meowmie warm.

--Fil

PS LIES ALL LIES --NOX

Mischief wrote in message
oups.com...
Mischief here, and I'm calling out to all cats in a plea for help.

My meowmie has done a very bad thing. The other day I was surveying my
domain and saw this intruder out on the wall. I whined and puffed out
and tried to tell Mama Kristi that there was this intruder. And do you
know what she did?

She went out and FED it!! She FED this intruder!! And if that wasn't
enough....

She brought it INSIDE!!!!!

Now I have this intruder in my bathroom who is getting cuddles and
scritches from MY meowmie.

And my meowmie had the NERVE to bring this intruder out and cuddle her
in her LAP. That's MY privelege and I'M the only one that gets the lap
cuddles

She then brought this intruder (she's female from her smell) and put
her in the middle of the floor. I got a good whiff of her and I didn't
like it one bit so I hissed at her.

And the little varmint hissed RIGHT BACK!! This is MY domain where I
am the QUEEN and no on is going to upseat me.

What can I do?? I know my meowmie will bring that intruder out again
and expect me to get along with her but I DON'T WANNA!!! I AM THE
QUEEN!!!

What should I do??

Kristi

Dear Mischief,

Hoomins! What can one do with them or without them? Our lives would be
distinctly less pleasant without our own trained slaves. We appeal to them
to take us home with them and feed and love us by our calculated
vulnerability and our appeal to their nurturing instincts. The trouble is,
OTHER, intrusive encroaching, dishonest cats who want to horn in on our
territory and eat out of our bowls and sleep in OUR Meowmie's laps ALSO know
how to appeal to our hoomins in the very same way. Look at what happened to
me! A pregnant teenage hussy moved in to MY home and now I have to put up
with TWO girl cats, one of whom is a genuine pest.

I don't blame you for being angry at having to share your meowmie as well as
your territory. But the thing is, these other cats are very nice to cuddle
up with when the wind is chilly. And my bowl still gets filled twice a day,
even though I have to share Meowmie's attention with these little intruders.
Francesca sometimes helps me groom myself because it's awfully hard for me
to manage alone these days. Just remember, you have seniority and this
stranger is moving into YOUR territory, you're not moving into hers.
Accepting her now will make it easier. BUT.... NEVER let this intruder get
any ideas above her station!
Unka Pan.

Hi Mischief, this is Rusty. You know what you can do?
Pee outside your box to show your displeasure. Your Meowmie
will get the message. But you may get dragged to TED for an exam.
I've been there and TED stuck a tube under my tail to steal my pee.
It was awful. So only do that as a last resort.

Rusty the liddle Tiger who is glad he is an only kat.

"Mischief" wrote in message
oups.com...
Mischief here, and I'm calling out to all cats in a plea for help.

My meowmie has done a very bad thing. The other day I was surveying my
domain and saw this intruder out on the wall. I whined and puffed out
and tried to tell Mama Kristi that there was this intruder. And do you
know what she did?

She went out and FED it!! She FED this intruder!! And if that wasn't
enough....

She brought it INSIDE!!!!!

Now I have this intruder in my bathroom who is getting cuddles and
scritches from MY meowmie.

And my meowmie had the NERVE to bring this intruder out and cuddle her
in her LAP. That's MY privelege and I'M the only one that gets the lap
cuddles

She then brought this intruder (she's female from her smell) and put
her in the middle of the floor. I got a good whiff of her and I didn't
like it one bit so I hissed at her.

And the little varmint hissed RIGHT BACK!! This is MY domain where I
am the QUEEN and no on is going to upseat me.

What can I do?? I know my meowmie will bring that intruder out again
and expect me to get along with her but I DON'T WANNA!!! I AM THE
QUEEN!!!

What should I do??

Kristi

In message .com,
Mischief writes
Mischief here, and I'm calling out to all cats in a plea for help.



You have the sympathies of us here in Whitstable.

For weeks now our hoomins have been cooing over this mucky creature
living in the garage. Feeding her, letting her in the house of an
evening. At least when they took us to our friend Sharn for a few days,
the other cat wasn't around. There were lots of cats, but all separate
from us, and we don't recall any of them being as foul-mouthed as the
interloper here.

We got back, and that same evening the interloper came into the house
again, and was allowed to stay in! She was carted off to the smelly
place the next day though, and didn't come home that night. We thought
we were rid of her. But no - she's back, and has the spare room all to
herself. We can *smell* her, even if we can't see her. The hoomins say
we're not allowed to meet her until her stitches are out, whatever that
means.

At least we have the arrival of the Mouser to look forward to. We need
a holiday this year.


--
Richard Miller

The little intruder is hiding under the bed, and if she knows
what's good for her she'll stay there.

Purrs that your intruder will learn her place too and looking
forward to seeing you on the Mouser


Mischief

Don't worry, Mischief, your meowmie is just taking care of the kitty until
she finds her a good home.
Best wishes,
--
Polonca & Soncek

"Mischief" wrote in message
oups.com...
Mischief here, and I'm calling out to all cats in a plea for help.

My meowmie has done a very bad thing. The other day I was surveying my
domain and saw this intruder out on the wall. I whined and puffed out
and tried to tell Mama Kristi that there was this intruder. And do you
know what she did?

She went out and FED it!! She FED this intruder!! And if that wasn't
enough....
snip What should I do??

Kristi