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The Cats and the Mats



 
 
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  #1  
Old September 29th 08, 11:15 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
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Posts: 18
Default The Cats and the Mats

(apologies to Dr. Seuess...)

Four of the Magnificent Seven had developed nasty mats on their rear
quarters. Three of them (Fearless. Smokey and Cinder) are, I think,
just getting too old and stiff to groom properly, and with all the
remodeling, we'd fallen down on the job of brushing our masters
properly. Miss Kitty is just too darned fat to reach herself, age has
nothing to do with it.

We've never really had a problem of mats before this...whether because
all we had were mostly DSH, or because they all groomed anyway until
the went to the RB, I don't know. But a slicker brush has always
sufficed to make them smooth and pretty...so far.

Last week, I hit the local Petco and found 4 (four!!) kinds of de-
matting tools to try. A "rake"; a thing that looks like a curry comb,
which doesn't look like it ought to do anything, but it really does; a
smaller andall one direction version of a rake; and this thing that
looks like a women's disposable razor but isn't. (Does have sharp
edges though...). We also have a pair of "bandage scissors" that we
use for the worst ones.

By today, Cinder's mats are all clear, and she is LOVING the curry
comb treatment.
Smokey's mats are all clear, and she too is loving the curry comb
thing.

Miss Kitty only has 3 mats left but she's gotten so distressed with me
that she wo't let me near, even when I don't have anything in my hand.
She hops down from where she is and stalks off when I even get near.
Despite the kitty treats! (I figured food would certainly get her
attention, but noooooooo....)

Fearless has 2 good sized mats left, and one is much reduced because
I've been picking on it by hand when he les down in the crook of my
arm. He gets disgusted after a couple of minutes (at most) and gets up
and talks off in a huff. Then he comes right back and lays down. I
dunno about that cat....

I'm amazed at the amount of fur coming off these animals! There's
plenty ot make a coat with, I'll bet...

Debora
Only got scracthed once.
  #2  
Old September 30th 08, 01:21 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
tanadashoes
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Posts: 2,879
Default The Cats and the Mats


wrote in message
...
(apologies to Dr. Seuess...)

Four of the Magnificent Seven had developed nasty mats on their rear
quarters. Three of them (Fearless. Smokey and Cinder) are, I think,
just getting too old and stiff to groom properly, and with all the
remodeling, we'd fallen down on the job of brushing our masters
properly. Miss Kitty is just too darned fat to reach herself, age has
nothing to do with it.


Fat cats sat mats
Cats on mats
Mats on cats
Take those mats off the cats

Fat cats mats sat
no mats on cats
cats still on mats
Take those smiles off the cats

Mad cats with mad mats
mad mats with big hats
mad cats mad at Debora
mad mats mad at Debora

Debora made mad mats go
mad cats made Debora slow
see Debora picking on mats
see Debora picking up cats

Fat cats sat mats
poor Debora picking at mats

**********

Pam S. wondering how Seuss did it for all those years





  #3  
Old September 30th 08, 03:55 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
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Posts: 186
Default The Cats and the Mats


I have two DLH cats who are having matting problems now that they are
older. The slicker brush doesn't do it for them. Do you remember the
name of the "curry comb" rake thing that you are using? Is it the
furminator? Thanks for any info.

Debbie

On Sep 29, 6:15*pm, wrote:
(apologies to Dr. Seuess...)

Four of the Magnificent Seven had developed nasty mats on their rear
quarters. Three of them (Fearless. Smokey and Cinder) are, I think,
just getting too old and stiff to groom properly, and with all the
remodeling, we'd fallen down on the job of brushing our masters
properly. Miss Kitty is just too darned fat to reach herself, age has
nothing to do with it.

We've never really had a problem of mats before this...whether because
all we had were mostly DSH, or because they all groomed anyway until
the went to the RB, I don't know. But a slicker brush has always
sufficed to make them smooth and pretty...so far.

Last week, I hit the local Petco and found 4 (four!!) kinds of de-
matting tools to try. A "rake"; a thing that looks like a curry comb,
which doesn't look like it ought to do anything, but it really does; a
smaller andall one direction version of a rake; and this thing that
looks like a women's disposable razor but isn't. (Does have sharp
edges though...). We also have a pair of "bandage scissors" that we
use for the worst ones.

By today, Cinder's mats are all clear, and she is LOVING the curry
comb treatment.
Smokey's mats are all clear, and she too is loving the curry comb
thing.

Miss Kitty only has 3 mats left but she's gotten so distressed with me
that she wo't let me near, even when I don't have anything in my hand.
She hops down from where she is and stalks off when I even get near.
Despite the kitty treats! (I figured food would certainly get her
attention, but noooooooo....)

Fearless has 2 good sized mats left, and one is much reduced because
I've been picking on it by hand when he les down in the crook of my
arm. He gets disgusted after a couple of minutes (at most) and gets up
and talks off in a huff. Then he comes right back and lays down. I
dunno about that cat....

I'm amazed at the amount of fur coming off these animals! There's
plenty ot make a coat with, I'll bet...

Debora
Only got scracthed once.


  #4  
Old September 30th 08, 05:10 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Victor Martinez[_2_]
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Posts: 91
Default The Cats and the Mats

The Doctrine of Feline Sedentation.
-------------------------------------------------------
How would Christians deal with "The cat sat on the mat" if it appeared
in the Bible?

The Liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of
course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also cat and mat
had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text
should he interpreted according to the customs and practices of the
period.

This would lead to an immediate backlash from the Evangelicals. They
would make an essential condition of faith that a real, physical,
living cat, being a domestic pet of the Felix Domesticus species, and
having a whiskered head and furry body, four legs and a tail, did
physically place its whole body on a floor covering, designed for that
purpose, and which is on the floor, but not of the floor. The
expression on the floor, but not of the floor would be explained in a
leaflet.

Meanwhile, the Catholics would have developed the Festival of the
Sedentation of the Blessed Cat. This would teach that the cat was
white and majestically reclined on a mat of gold thread before its
assumption to the Great Cat Basket of heaven. This is commemorated by
the singing of the Magnificat, lighting three candles, and ringing a
bell five times. This would cause a schism with the Orthodox Church
which believes that tradition requires Holy Cats Day (as it is
colloquially known), to be marked by lighting six candles, and ringing
the bell four times This would be partly resolved by the Cuckoo Land
Declaration, recognizing the traditional validity of each.

The charismatics would welcome the chance for the full experience of
the feline presence. This to be shown by resting, on all four limbs,
on the floor and meowing in the feline spirit. This would, naturally,
only be possible following the singing, for some 30 minutes, of
inspired songs such as O cat, cat, cat, come to our mat, mat, mat,
Feline we enthrone you, we proclaim you as cat and When you scratch
us, we know that you're here.

The house church elements might even agree a common doctrine, after
four pauses, in a statement of multiple clauses.

Eventually, in the Church of England, the House of Bishops would issue
a statement on the Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation. It would
explain that traditionally the text describes a domestic feline
quadruped superjacent to an unattached covering on a fundamental
surface. For determining its salvific and eschatological
significations, we follow the heuristic analytical principles adopted
in dealing with the Canine Fenestration Question (How much is that
doggie in the window?) and the Affirmative Musaceous Paradox (Yes, we
have no bananas). And so on for 210 pages,

The General Synod would then commend this report as helpful resource
material for clergy to explain to the man in the pew the difficult
doctrine of the cat sat on the mat.

And the Mormons would come up with an entire rite in the Temple of the
Baptism of the Dead Cat on the Mat, and would find innumerable proofs
in the Book of Mormon supporting the Cat and Mat, while spending
millions of dollars on archeological research to find the Mat or the
Cat's bones, ultimately proving it for themselves while the rest of
the archeological world scoffed.

  #5  
Old September 30th 08, 06:16 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Christine K
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Posts: 166
Default The Cats and the Mats

Victor Martinez kirjoitti:
The Doctrine of Feline Sedentation.
-------------------------------------------------------
How would Christians deal with "The cat sat on the mat" if it appeared
in the Bible?

snip of humorous doctrine description

More cat humour found at
http://www.badpets.net/CatHumor/CatLinks.html

Where I also found this doctrine in a slightly different version.

--
Christine in Laitila, Finland
christal63 (at) gmail (dot) com
photos: http://s208.photobucket.com/albums/bb108/christal63/
photos: http://community.webshots.com/user/chkr63
 




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