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#11
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Why Hello There!
It is soooooo good to hear from you and that things are going well. We've
missed you and I think of you and your family often. Welcome back. Charleen "Gracecat" wrote in message ... Been a while, how is everybody? (Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.) Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think) Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been 6 last month) Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change that! Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month. She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty danged energetic. Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we have a nest egg. That's always nice. Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic attacks are less than they were six months ago.) Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV Gracecat |
#12
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Why Hello There!
"Gracecat" wrote in message
... Been a while, how is everybody? (Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.) Hey S! Good to see you. I've been a lurker for a long time and only recently started posting again. Hanging in there, for me. Better. I hit my emotional bottom last year and had to seek help. Long overdue but my boss helped me a lot. I'm reading the rest of your post to see how you are doing. Been wondering! Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think) Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been 6 last month) And you have a sad anniversary coming up. Are you handling those ok, other than just the Xanax? Do you have new traditions and special routines? My SIL did something for me with the help of her daughters, my nieces. For my birthday last year they made me a memory box. They filled it with some of theirs for me to open and read them. It was special. I have added a few since then, but I really need to add more. It makes me smile to write out the happy memories because I spent so long just remembering "the night". I hope you're able to find ways to remember your sweet girl in happy ways. That is so hard until you get past the anger, which I don't think I'll ever get past, but there are moments and they're not all SSRI induced! LOL Some, but not all. Oh, I could go on and on for that quest for stabilization but I won't. Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change that! Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month. She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty danged energetic. Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we have a nest egg. That's always nice. Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic attacks are less than they were six months ago.) I sure understand that. You are probably way more protective and anxious over all of your loved ones. Totally expected. I know I even yell at kids driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will do to their mom when they crash and die. My therapist told me I should. Yeah, right. How? They are strangers just driving too fast and probably wouldn't care to even listen. Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV Gracecat Stay safe from the storms, and the generator and RV are a huge plus in your area. Don't be a stranger. You can see how many so care about you and miss you but also don't expect you to come and chitty chat and accept will whatever hello's you want to send. Your life has changed. No doubt about it. hugs and more hugs, Cheryl |
#13
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Why Hello There!
Cheryl wrote:
I know I even yell at kids driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will do to their mom when they crash and die. My therapist told me I should. Yeah, right. How? They are strangers just driving too fast and probably wouldn't care to even listen. You might be surprised. Sure, some kids don't care what some woman their mother's age has to say, but others might actually stop and think. You could save a life or two, and a lifetime of heartbreak. Maybe there's a speakers bureau in your town, for talking to teenagers about dangers like driving drunk or just plain speeding? I'll bet a heartfelt story from you would make an impression on at least some of them. Especially if you just talked about your own feelings of loss and grief, and didn't lecture to them. (Teenagers are the masters at employing the Nag Filter.) I think it would be a great thing to do, if/when you're ready. -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
#14
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Why Hello There!
Gracecat wrote:
Been a while, how is everybody? (Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.) Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think) Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been 6 last month) Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change that! Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month. She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty danged energetic. Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we have a nest egg. That's always nice. Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic attacks are less than they were six months ago.) Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV Gracecat Hi, Gracecat. Glad to see you stop in. Don't be a stranger. Sam, supervised by Mistletoe |
#15
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Why Hello There!
On Aug 4, 7:58*pm, wrote:
Cheryl wrote: * I know I even yell at kids * driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will * do to their mom when they crash and die. *My therapist told me I should. * Yeah, right. How? *They are strangers just driving too fast and probably * wouldn't care to even listen. You might be surprised. Sure, some kids don't care what some woman their mother's age has to say, but others might actually stop and think. You could save a life or two, and a lifetime of heartbreak. Maybe there's a speakers bureau in your town, for talking to teenagers about dangers like driving drunk or just plain speeding? I'll bet a heartfelt story from you would make an impression on at least some of them. Especially if you just talked about your own feelings of loss and grief, and didn't lecture to them. (Teenagers are the masters at employing the Nag Filter.) I think it would be a great thing to do, if/when you're ready. -- Joyce * ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) I only have a minute, I'll respond to you more in depth tomorrow morning Cheryl. (You too Sherry, I'll share just a few of Ian's exploits) I'm not sure if it's still in operation but a local man developed a service when his daughter got her license. It's essentially a bumper sticker with a randomly assigned number, and a phone number. When you call the service, and give the "tag" number and a description of the driver's behavior then that service in turn, calls the parents. Abi's going to drive an M1 Abrams tank. She just doesn't know it yet. Grace |
#16
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Why Hello There!
"Cheryl" wrote in message I sure understand that. You are probably way more protective and anxious over all of your loved ones. Totally expected. I know I even yell at kids driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will do to their mom when they crash and die. My therapist told me I should. Yeah, right. How? They are strangers just driving too fast and probably wouldn't care to even listen. About thirty five years ago the neighbor boy across the street got his drivers license and the use of the family black ford mustang. His parents were and are good friends, but very strict with their two boys. One afternoon I saw the boy tear through a school zone going probably fifty miles an hour. Later that day I took him aside and told him what I had seen. Got it through his head where he was when he was driving like that and what some of the consequences could have been. Told him if he wanted to kill himself to me my guest, but that there were tons of country roads around where he would not have to involve anyone else. And that if I ever saw him driving like that again I'd be talking to his parents. He has now had a long and very successful career in law enforcement. We are still in touch. And once in a while he mentions that incident and thanks me. Jo |
#17
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Why Hello There!
Gracecat wrote:
Been a while, how is everybody? (Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.) Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think) Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been 6 last month) Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change that! Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month. She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty danged energetic. Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we have a nest egg. That's always nice. Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic attacks are less than they were six months ago.) Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV Always good to see you, Grace. Boy toddlers have no fear. Then they grow into 4 year olds and have even less fear than they did when they were toddlers. The Yowlet (who is now 4 years, 4 months) enjoys playing 'hide and seek'. He particularly likes playing this in malls, the beach, and other large spaces with lots of hiding places, and has been known to just let hismelf out of the front door to play hide and seek somewhere on the street. What of course he doesn't do is *tell* us when he's about to go hide. He thinks its funny. Countless sessions on the naughty chair, withdrawal of junk food, toys and Tv, and even some good bottom thwackings have yet to discourage him from this new hobby of his. This is why I have grey hair. Yowie Yowie |
#18
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Why Hello There!
"Yowie" wrote in message ... Gracecat wrote: Been a while, how is everybody? (Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.) Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think) Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been 6 last month) Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change that! Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month. She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty danged energetic. Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we have a nest egg. That's always nice. Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic attacks are less than they were six months ago.) Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV Always good to see you, Grace. Boy toddlers have no fear. Then they grow into 4 year olds and have even less fear than they did when they were toddlers. The Yowlet (who is now 4 years, 4 months) enjoys playing 'hide and seek'. He particularly likes playing this in malls, the beach, and other large spaces with lots of hiding places, and has been known to just let hismelf out of the front door to play hide and seek somewhere on the street. What of course he doesn't do is *tell* us when he's about to go hide. He thinks its funny. Countless sessions on the naughty chair, withdrawal of junk food, toys and Tv, and even some good bottom thwackings have yet to discourage him from this new hobby of his. This is why I have grey hair. Yowie Yowie You may have to have a traceable microchip installed on that boy! They have them for kids that are good for about 200 yards. Jo |
#19
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Why Hello There!
"Gracecat" wrote in message ... I only have a minute, I'll respond to you more in depth tomorrow morning Cheryl. (You too Sherry, I'll share just a few of Ian's exploits) I'm not sure if it's still in operation but a local man developed a service when his daughter got her license. It's essentially a bumper sticker with a randomly assigned number, and a phone number. When you call the service, and give the "tag" number and a description of the driver's behavior then that service in turn, calls the parents. Abi's going to drive an M1 Abrams tank. She just doesn't know it yet. ============================================= Get her a Volvo. Same effect, cheaper, and a smidge more stylish. Pam S. who wishes she could afford one for the M & Ms |
#20
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Why Hello There!
On 2008-08-04 19:10:31 -0500, "Cheryl" said:
"Gracecat" wrote in message ... Been a while, how is everybody? (Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.) Hey S! Good to see you. I've been a lurker for a long time and only recently started posting again. Hanging in there, for me. Better. I hit my emotional bottom last year and had to seek help. Long overdue but my boss helped me a lot. I'm reading the rest of your post to see how you are doing. Been wondering! I understand. It's been four years so yes... Life gets easier. Ian is ten thousand times different than his sisters and he's helped. We were afraid that we'd compare him with his sister. From time to time I see a little of Eve. He got into my lipstick last week. That was her favorite game so when Jody walked in and could tell I was aggravated I said Ian pulled one of Eve's stunts. He knew immediately my lipstick was a casualty. *grins* So we laugh more over the good times now. It's easier to talk about her. Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think) Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been 6 last month) And you have a sad anniversary coming up. Are you handling those ok, other than just the Xanax? Do you have new traditions and special routines? My SIL did something for me with the help of her daughters, my nieces. For my birthday last year they made me a memory box. They filled it with some of theirs for me to open and read them. It was special. I have added a few since then, but I really need to add more. It makes me smile to write out the happy memories because I spent so long just remembering "the night". I hope you're able to find ways to remember your sweet girl in happy ways. That is so hard until you get past the anger, which I don't think I'll ever get past, but there are moments and they're not all SSRI induced! LOL Some, but not all. Oh, I could go on and on for that quest for stabilization but I won't. In a month and week. In a way, it makes for an easy week to get away from with the family without interferring with Abi's school. It's always around Labor Day. At Eve's funeral we were given a magnolia. It blooms at the craziest times. Her birthday, Mother's day. Last Christmas we took the kids to Disney. Eve went when she was 6 months old so this was going to a place we built memories with her. Jody bought Oreo cookies a few months ago for the first time. She loved oreos. 2AM is still hard. And I say 2 AM because I'm a perpetual insomniac. When the house is quiet I do my worst thinking. But if I keep busy while I'm awake it's ok. The xanax helps those moments where my son discovers the attic ladder and I discover he's 18 months old and nine feet up in the air laughing. That was a heart meet toes moment. Or when he's running through the house with a knife he managed to get out of the sink. Those moments don't scare me, but the "oh no what if he got hurt" imagination runs wild creates an anxiety attack. In the six months I've been diagnosed, it's easier to recognize the pattern and try to avoid letting those thoughts get the best of me. Like Yowie said on down this thread, Ian loves to take off and doesn't consider leaving behind Mom. I handle them well, but I'm a victim of the "what-if's". Everybody either says it'll never happen to me, or that yes it can happen to you. When it does happen, and you know it can happen, you're afraid it can happen again. It's vicious. I never had the anger, or denial that they said could happen during grief before Ian was born. I appeared to go from grief to acceptance. Jody had a horrible time. I was afraid to leave him alone. I don't think his family really realized how bad he got. Only after Ian started walking did we discover that I had my own form of post traumatic disorder. So as Jody healed and became stable, I took my turn. Jody's grandfather passed away in March, he was 81 and had been in ill health for years. That was the first funeral both of us had attended since our daughter's and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. But then again, it wasn't our local funeral home either so that helped. Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change that! Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month. She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty danged energetic. Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we have a nest egg. That's always nice. Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic attacks are less than they were six months ago.) I sure understand that. You are probably way more protective and anxious over all of your loved ones. Totally expected. I know I even yell at kids driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will do to their mom when they crash and die. My therapist told me I should. Yeah, right. How? They are strangers just driving too fast and probably wouldn't care to even listen. I know I can't hold Abi back when she becomes a teenager, or when she turns 18. But... It's going to be hard. I think she'll be ok though as far as making personal decisions. She's a typical budding pre-teen, so she gets mouthy from time to time. But when she knows it's a personal safety issue, she doesn't argue and she doesn't try to wiggle around the rules. She knows vehicles can kill. I'm not sure how, but even Ian is trained to stop and wait for me when we're in a parking lot. I guess I give off the "Mommy is serious" vibes. Some parents would care. I would. Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV Gracecat Stay safe from the storms, and the generator and RV are a huge plus in your area. Don't be a stranger. You can see how many so care about you and miss you but also don't expect you to come and chitty chat and accept will whatever hello's you want to send. Your life has changed. No doubt about it. hugs and more hugs, Cheryl Thanks Cheryl. For a change due to the heat and frontal pressure, this storm went west. Victor and I think MaryL is getting weather but the east coast Texans and Louisianians should be pretty good. *hugs* Grace |
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